Last night, as we left our 16 new housemates when the BB launch show ended, they were of course delighted when Big Brother threw open the doors so that they could explore their temporary – and for one of them, very temporary – home.

And first among the housemates into the bedroom was Victoria, who was unimpressed with the lack of hanging space.

She told Scott, “Is that the only clothes hanging clothes area? That’s ridic! I could fill that myself!”

However, while she was – very loudly apparently, determined to take centre stage in Wardrobe-gate – several of the younger girls were changing into their bikinis, and acting like that is entirely normal behaviour for them after 11pm on a Tuesday.

While watching the parade of scantily cladness, Victoria, evidently fishing for a compliment from Scott, which she didn’t get, said, “They’re all getting in a bikini, that’s because they’ve got good bodies…”

Tumbleweeds could apparently be heard while she waited for Scott to remark on her body, which, as mentioned, he didn’t.

So, having failed to draw him in there, she went on to say, “I’ve got a bit of a tummy situation…”

Note to self: If a man doesn’t compliment you, don’t start in about your bowels. It’s unlikely to impress.

Talk of poop aside, Victoria later spoke to the housemates in general saying of Deana’s decision to nominate her, “I said I was upset about the ‘evil eye’ thing but she didn’t mean it.”

Meanwhile, Chris announced that he doesn’t like Luke S – who he branded “sly” – or Arron, while Benedict told Caroline all about his career as a porn star.

With newbie Ashleigh, she decided that the way forward on the first night was to get hammered then tell everyone her secret fantasies and some of her sexual antics. Good one Ash.

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But to be fair, not only did BB supply the champers for the housemates when they first arrived, he later sent in yet more booze, which prompted Ashleigh – who by then had abandoned efforts at elegance and was drinking directly from the bottle – to tell Benedict that she’d be up for paid bedroom action, of the filmed variety that is.

Having engaged Benedict in some bedroom talk, Ashleigh then gushed all over Arron, telling him how much she likes his accent. He gushed back about her accent, so clearly, they have sod all to talk to each other about.

Many of the housemates ended up sitting around chatting, burping and possibly vomiting until the wee small hours, and of course, we’ll be bringing you all the news as it happens right here, so don’t nobody go nowhere!