Good evening folks. We’re blogging the Big Brother 2008 launch night, as it blinking well happens (said in the voice of the E4 presenter). Here’s the action as it happens…
9:03PM - Davina’s giving us the walk through the house. There’s the jail, the solitary confinement cell, the deadly uncomfortable bedrooms. Oh, that bathroom is some tacky shit!!!
21:08PM - Gossip - the housemates will have to budget for basic privileges such as hot water and stuff. They have to hold over a token for these things if they want them.
21:15PM - Mario (42) and his girlfriend Lisa (40) are the first couple to go into the house. Seem to be a bit full of themselves, don’t they folks? And does that dude look like Joey from Friends or what? Lots of wonderful trivia, including that Mario used to be in the freemasons - the secret society or the dance act?
21:18PM - Luke (20) appears to be a natural born twat and a politics student. Seems like he found his calling then… Yikes, and he’s hetero. Who’d have thought it? I’ll leave it to you folks - all bluster or is he really that irritating? He’s not responding well to the boos…don’t shout back at the crowd, you nonce.
21:22PM - Stephanie (19) is the much rumoured Popstars: The Rivals contestant who’s found her way onto BB this year. Oooh, she’s cute! Seems to be quite down to earth though…apart from thinking she looks like Angelina Jolie and/or Britney Spears.
21:26PM - The contestants already in the house have been called to the Diary Room. Davina said something about Stephanie not being single for long…what’s that mean? Secret Mission!!! They’ve been told to pretend that Mario and Stephanie are a couple, and they have to conceal the fact that Mario and Lisa are a couple. Mario and Lisa are to pretend that they’ve only just met for the first time. If the other housemates guess, Mario, Lisa, Stephanie and Luke all face the public vote for eviction.
21:30PM - Mario and Stephanie are working out a cover story thanks to Luke. This is going to be a great task, if only for the jealousy between the women! And Luke isn’t quite as annoying now he’s starting to calm down a bit.
21:36PM - Rachel (24) is a trainee teacher and a chatterbox. I love this kind of girl, high energy and really animated! She looks pretty harmless, and she’s getting generally good reaction from the audience in a very nice black dress. No nudity on the walkway so far, I’ve just noticed, and Davina’s just noticed the crowd reaction too.
Why do people talk to themselves as the go into the house?
21:40PM - Dale (20) is a student, quelle surprise. Looks a bit like Anthony from two BB’s ago. Kind of seems to fancy himself. Doesn’t want to work, can’t stand, wants to stab the other housemates in the back for £100,000. Crowd for some reason aren’t lovin’ him. Apparently he wants the words ‘cruel bastard’ on his gravestone. Definitely a ‘love to hate’ kind of housemate…
21:44PM - Sylvia (21) is a …guess…student. Yet another looker, seems to be grounded bordering on being slightly abrasive. She’s just admitted to having a sharp tongue. First impressions out of the big A Team van? Looks nice in a sexy purple dress, very confident going up the steps despite the boos. Allegedly a Christian, but let’s stay open minded folks, eh?
21:47PM - They’re really bunging housemates into the house right now. Next is desperately camp Dennis (23, and a dancer) appears to be meeting the gay exhibitionist stereotype head on. The dude’s ass appears to be permanently stuck out like Donald Duck in mating season…calm down, Perez. Calm down. And he’s Scottish too. Another irritating housemate, could be a white version of Shahbaz from two years ago.
21:56PM - Michael (26) is the blind contestant we’d heard rumours about. He’s a radio producer, and slightly scared us when he came on screen, but quickly won us over just by being a sound guy. And a transvestite. And a former resident of Denmark. The strangest job he’s ever done was work at a tampon factory in Portsmouth.
Weird watching someone guided into the house, and it wasn’t Davina walking him in after all. He’s calling himself Mikey as he introduces himself, and he’s laid down the law to Dennis by bringing up the divide between East and West of Scotland…
22:00PM - Alexandra (23) is an accounts exec and was apparently born special. Most BB housemates are, love. Get over yourself. Has come across as far too self-confident in the VT, and got demolished by the launch night crowd. Another well-cut purple dress, but not as classy an entrance as Sylvia. I wonder if she’ll win us over when she’s been in the house a while…
22:04PM - Rex (24) is an executive chef, so it looks like we’ve got someone to cook the beans and toast this year. He’s admitting to a bling fixation - “If it’s not sparkling, I’m not interested”. Describes himself as secretly shy. The ladies in the house say that he’s the soundest bloke to go into the house so far. But he just described himself as a “professional bully”. Me, I’m just an amateur…
22:08PM - Mohammad (23) is a toy demonstrator, seems to be a tiny bit political, having taken plenty of shit over the years. First impressions are that he’ll be a sound guy when he settles down, but he did seem to have a slight chip on his shoulder in the VT. Nice ‘fro dude. Nice.
A little hyperactive performance outside the doors - will he be a Diary Room performer?
22:10PM - Rebecca (21) is a nursery nurse. Oh shit, I can’t understand a word she’s saying, but they’re likening her to Vicky Pollard. Possibly the sluttiest entrance costume this year, and she’s still pretty well covered up by Big Brother standards. Bizarrely, she’s getting a great crowd reaction, despite the short skirt. Man, she’s hyper. Seems like a nice lass, bit on the dippy side…
22:19PM - Darnell (26) is a songwriter and seems to be an albino guy from a black family. Seems like another pretty cool guy, getting cheered like crazy by the audience. And he’s working the stage… Inside the house, and Mario can’t get to grips with Darnell’s name - Danielle? Donald? Eh?
Davina says Stephanie’s not comfortable with the pretend relationship and Mario and Lisa keep stealing glances at each other across the room. Can’t wait to find out what the sleeping arrangements will be!
Jennifer (22) is a part time model and mother of one. She feels she’s older than her years because of being a mother. She’s a highly opinionated girlie, and the VT features her waxing lyrical on a lot of big issues. She’s also smokin’ hot, but I’ve got to wonder what she’s doing going into the house for 93 days with a young child. Good crowd reaction, and Davina notes that she looks a little bit like Cheryl Cole.
22:28PM - Kathreya (30) is a Thai Massage therapist. Amazingly hyperactive and very colourful in her VT. Er…seems to like her cakes. And gaudy pink dresses. Davina’s rambling about her having a dream about a world made of cookies and having to eat her way out or something. Those gold platform boots Kathreya’s wearing must be spring-loaded, because she hasn’t stopped bouncing.
Her first words to the housemates? “Cookies…I brought cookies” I think I saw her on Sesame Street… 
And we’re calling her Kat by the sound of the introductions.
The Bombshell
Davina tells us that Mario and Stephanie - unknown to them right now - are getting married on Sunday. They’re going to be led to believe it’s a real ceremony, presuming that they keep the farce going that long…
Well, that’s the launch night over folks. Leave your thoughts on the 2008 housemates in our comments…
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