Speaking on This Morning, Big Brother star Nikki Grahame opened up about how her constant fight with the eating disorder brought on the development of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
She said: “When I decided to overcome anorexia, I needed something else to focus on – something else to control. And that’s where OCD stepped in. And – it’s not life threatening, it gets in the way of a lot of things, and it can affect what I eat at certain times – but it’s, for me, just something else to control.”
Asked how OCD affects her life, Nikki replied:
“I’m very funny about germs and breathing things in. Recently I was away for a weekend and I was convinced that there was lots of dust in the room. And because I thought I’d breathed all this dust in while I was sleeping, I couldn’t eat breakfast the next morning. I was like, oh God, I’ve got too much germs in my body.”
Speaking a year after writing her auto-biography, Dying To Be Thin, Nikki said it was problems in her personal life that led to her eating disorder. She explained: “At the time I was in The Hillingdon Gymnastic squad, and I was under quite a lot of pressure to meet the grades and be a certain standard. And at the time as well, my mum and dad were going through a divorce and my granddad had just died. So I think it was a combination of all three things that triggered it off, and just feeling like I had no control over what was happening around me. The only thing that I could control was how much I ate and what size I was.”
Talking about her recent problems with anorexia, Nikki admitted it was writing her auto-biography which saw some bad habits resurface.
She said: “I have lost a little bit of weight over the last year. And that was – partly writing the book – it dug up quite a lot of old habits which, you know, it’s natural I suppose, that that’s going to happen. Yes, I got back into a couple of old habits. I went to a lot of music festivals last year – it’s not so easy to eat food so regularly at festivals, and I had a bit of a tricky breakup. So all of those things – I just lost a bit of weight. But it’s very, very difficult for me to put the weight back on because I’m so slight and I get used to looking a certain way, and feeling a certain way. So then it’s 10 times harder for me to regain that weight. But I’m getting in touch with a life coach, Matt Wilton, and a Nutritionist, so yeah – they’re going to help me put some more weight on.”