E4 Princess Nikki 21.9.06
Can someone please explain to me just why I watch this show? All I can think is that its akin to picking at a scab. There’s that irritating itch that can only be relieved by trying to prise up the edge. Then the pain when you realise just what you’ve started, and the oozing blood after you’ve ripped the flipping thing off.
The show last night (21.9.06) was just like that. Nikki seems to have some weird idea of how a princess behaves. Apparently, in NikkiWorld, you should have a face like a slapped derriere on at all times, strop about like a demented penguin, and be rude and ill-mannered to the poor people forced to spend time with you. I’m fairly sure I’ve never seen a real princess behave like that, but there again, I don’t really mix in royal circles.
‘Do you have to apply to do this job?’ she demanded to know of the refuse collectors. ‘Do you think, oh I really hope I get it?’ said in her usual bewildered and condescending tone, casting aspersions on the nature of those who clear up after us. The binmen simply looked askance at her, perhaps idly wishing they could bung her in a bag and chuck her in the back of the wagon. I’m not quite sure why she screamed so at the sight of a few maggots – she lived in a house with Sezar for a couple of weeks after all.
I wonder how much they had to pay the poor woman subjected to Nikki’s hysterical giggling, as she lay being colonically irrigated. They would have had to pay me more than the entire budget for the show, especially to show my poo floating through the tube. The lady overseeing the whole procedure looked as if she would gladly perform the procedure on Nikki herself, without the benefit of lubrication, especially after Nikki took to randomly spinning dials on the delicate machinery.
The bulk (sorry) of the show was dedicated to the treatment of plop. Condoms, tampons, toilet paper, and bizarrely, large chunks of solid fat had to be cleared from the rest of the sewage. Now – I am hugely appreciative of the people who perform these vital jobs – but there is no way I would go anywhere near a sewage farm. Its bad enough living where I do when the wind is in the wrong direction. There again, I’m not being paid huge amounts to be publicly ridiculed and humiliated on National TV (which I’m fairly sure is the entire brief for this show). Nikki reacted with her usual ‘I’m not doing that’, the pained face, the heaving, and her bizarre act of not actually looking at what she’s doing, perhaps in the belief she can con herself into thinking she isn’t scraping claggy poo from a machine, and is in fact sweeping the floor or something.
Whatever it is, I wish that we could see something more than this Nikki Caricature. It doesn’t even merit being described as two dimensional – in fact calling it one dimensional is to do it credit. Unless the producers allow some of the ‘Nice Nikki’ (I know its there, I saw it appear from time to time on Big Brother) to emerge, any novelty value will wane fairly quickly. Perhaps that’s a good thing.
This article was written by Lynne Goulden, our newest contributor at Unreality TV. Welcome aboard Lynne! Check out Lynne’s own X Factor journal here.
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September 22nd, 2006 at 3:34 pm
I’m really loving Princess Nikki.When I’ve had a bad
day at work I watch Princess Nikki and I have a good laugh and forget about everything for half an hour.
I don’t have any of Nikki’s hangups and I couldn’t have
done any of the stuff she tried to do at the sewage farm.Credit to her for at least giving it a go (I know
that I wouldn’t have!)
September 22nd, 2006 at 6:58 pm
An explanation Lyn? Well maybe you watch because somewhere, under the load of verbal diarea (excuse spelling) you really do appreciate our Princess Nikki who has not been given the opportunity to be a Princess so how can she behave like one. Keep up the good work and keep watching, we wont hold it against you.
September 22nd, 2006 at 11:29 pm
i think princess nikki is amazing but i think she will be torn after the break-up and she’ll not take any s**t from anyone lol luv ash xxxxxxxxxxxx
(P.S i think pete has made a BIG BIG MISTAKE!)
September 23rd, 2006 at 8:48 am
Personally I cant stand ‘Princess’ Nikki, although I have yet to be unimpressed by her ability to have such a whiney whingey state of existence, Im amazed she has the will to go on, personally. And whats with the constant gurnying? Im sure theres a pretty girl under there somewhere just crying to get out. Im afraid I have to disagree with Ashleigh, I think Petes probably done the most sensible thing in his life to date.
Quite frankly Im of the opinion that Nikki shouldnt be encouraged and should perhaps seek some kind of counselling, or, at the very least, be deported.
September 23rd, 2006 at 9:01 pm
lovin princess nikki its getting funnier by the weeks she is a true winner after her battle with anorexia since age eight and having OCD she coped with the poo better then I ever could or would.
September 25th, 2006 at 8:04 am
i think nikki is the best by far people want to stop pulling nikki down they dont no what they are talking about.nikki is tv entertainment and we want to see more of nikki she’s great the only one out big brother 7 worth watching.she made this years show by farkeep the good work up nikki your the best.you make me laugh every week and thats what tv want more like you its worth putting the tv on for on wednesday at 10pm on e4the shows great.
September 25th, 2006 at 9:27 am
Quite frankly the people that put Nikki up to it (’Princess Nikki’) should be shot. They are guilty of creating their own little freak show, only now, being modern times, we dont have to visit frightening little tents, in the corners of funfairs, advertising bearded ladies and boys with two heads. No, now we can just switch on the box and sit back in our own living rooms and laugh or (in my case) stare in bewilderment at the peculiar little creature called ‘Nikki’. The reason (and I cant believe people have to ask this) that they dont give Nikki nice jobs to do so that we can see her shine is that they are not interested in the nice Nikki – if there is one – no, they want her to contort her face and rant and rave and have tantrums. Why? Because we the general public will find it amusing. We know we shouldnt, but we do. Why do people rubberneck at car accidents? Because they know there may be something there that they dont want to see but they cant help but look. THAT is what Princess Nikki is all about. It gives us an opportunity to laugh at Nikki. THAT is why the makers of the show should be shot, they are shamelessly taking advantage of a weird girls ego.
September 25th, 2006 at 3:11 pm
princess nikki is brilliant! i am rele impresse dwith the show! i kno its rele mean to make nikki go through the things she is bt i must adddmit it is funni!x she reminds me of myself i have tantrums all the tym my m8s have even started callin me princess nikki!!!
September 27th, 2006 at 7:25 am
Sara, for one who does not like Nikki you certainly stayed glued to the TV to watch her and have spent much time writing about her. She has not gone by unnoticed by you and seems to be playing a big part in your mental dimension. Develop a sense of humour and you will enjoy the Nikki we all do. You are missing so much by griping instead of enjoying. She is just herself and has the freedom to express herself…I wonder what you would look like and behave like in her shoes??? Maybe you could be a guest on her show.
September 27th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
That stupid, whiney, pathetic, thick as pig-doo girl makes me ashamed to be female. The quicker she is dropped (preferably from a great height) the better it will be.
September 27th, 2006 at 10:02 pm
Evelyn, Ive only watched the show once. My comments re: Nikki are purely based on what I saw then, what I have read about the show and what I have seen of her in Big Brother (not to mention the various tedious articles in various tedious magazines, boo hoo, why on earth did Pete dump me?)I have spent so much time writing about her? I figure around 4 minutes. What would I look like in her shoes? like me in her shoes. How would I behave in her shoes? like me in her shoes. Although I do have my own shoes. If the girl could stop grimacing for five minutes it would be a start. Then if she could stop whining, well, who knows, maybe Pete wouldnt have seen the light and dumped her?
October 3rd, 2006 at 6:31 pm
I’ve never seen this show, but thanks to the illustrative remarks all around, I won’t have to. Let’s all go outside and take a break!
October 3rd, 2006 at 9:45 pm
Right this my say now… i dont want nobody to disrespect Nike coz u a darling and it aint fair that she is saying she hates her self even more coz pete dumped her. Nikki is so pretty and i dont give a s**t wat people say and i love her progammes and it is so cool and i love readin about her in my mags and papers and expecially online
Loves ya all and love ya Nikki xxxxxxx sophie xxxxxxxxx
October 3rd, 2006 at 9:47 pm
N~I~K~K~I Y~O~U~R E~X~E~L~L~E~N~T
October 4th, 2006 at 4:34 pm
I love nikki! she is the mos amazin hilarious person ive ever seen – and met- last night she was filming on an estate near my ouse n i saw her wen i was walkin home from school (it was on offerton estate u will see it in her show) she gave me an autograph n signed my cast! she is even more funny close up i wish ppl woud stop dissin her shes mint!
October 4th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
Princess Nikki is a great show! Loving every second of it!
I think its great that she has moved on from big brother and has become a star! Just like Jade Goody. Yeah, she does whine and moan but hey, thats Nikki for ya and excellent entertainment!
Hope everything goes well for her in the future, and yeah Pete made a HUGE mistake! lol, I’d like to see his face when Nikki gets a boyfriend.
October 5th, 2006 at 6:19 pm
Hi
Ann, your last comment gave me an idea for an even better show. . .
“Bachelorette Nikki”
I think it would let us see both sides of Nikki. The fun playful Nikki and the whinging moaning Nikki.
And maybe she would get a boyfriend.
Jeff J. (USA)
October 7th, 2006 at 10:15 am
Princess Nikki is such a sorry excuse for a show. It is trying really hard to ’sell’ a show that is along the context of the American hit ‘A Simple Life’ that starred Paris Hilton & Christina. The show is such a sorry excuse/a farce. If comparisons are to be made, Princess Nikki pales in comparison to ‘A Simple Life’ Paris & Christina take all the jobs with aplomb & such good grace, Nikki in comparison just whines & cries, such an attention seeker. Well, you cannot make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear!
October 11th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
tell me if u agree
October 11th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
i think princess nikki is soooooo buzzin she is well mint nikki and i lv er lds xxxxxxxxxx
October 14th, 2006 at 8:14 pm
I fink princess nikki is wkd. it is funny and i fink she is hot aswell
October 14th, 2006 at 8:14 pm
NiKkI iS tHe BeST eva and she rules
October 19th, 2006 at 5:57 pm
I HATE HER SHE ACTS LIKE A BABY
November 13th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
heya
i just wanted to say that i luv nikki!!!!
when is the new series of princess nikki coming out??????
i’m desperate to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please tell me!!!!!
lotsa luv nikki!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
November 13th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
Hopefully never…