Day 4 Tuesday 12th June 9.00pm ITV1 followed by

It’s the fourth of nine consecutive nights of Britain’s Got Talent – a brand new talent show of unbelievable performers and auditions unlike anything you have ever seen before. Judged by Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan, the contestants have to face the panel’s ultimate weapon . . . a buzzer!

Tonight’s show (Tuesday 12 June, 9pm, ITV1) features:

* A poodle getting the better of Piers.
* A man who burns his privates.
* The worse Kylie impersonator – ever!
* A singing poodle.
* And Judges Simon and Piers coming to blows.

Piers Is Beaten – By A Poodle

Not all of the acts are willing to let the Judges have the last word on their performance. Carol sings with her Poodle called Pansy but unfortunately Pansy isn’t up to scratch. Is it because Ant accidentally steps on the dog while it’s waiting in the wings?! Carol sings ‘I Could Have Danced’ while Pansy yelps along. The Judges aren’t impressed but Carol says ‘You’re Piers Thingamebob aren’t you? Simon is a showbiz mogul. What qualifications do you have?’

Not to be out done Piers replies ‘I don’t know what qualifications you need to deduce that a singing dog act where the dog doesn’t actually sing is probably not the greatest talent in the country. There are two barking creatures on stage.’

But Carol hits back with the last word. ‘It’s a man thing. If somebody gets the better of you, just insult them. It’s what fellas do.’ And Amanda tells Piers ‘I can’t believe a 59 year old woman with a poodle has got the better of you.’

The Judges Start To Battle

While Carol isn’t successful another act whose cheek helps him is 14 year old Cameron Farrell from Doncaster. His act prompts a row between Piers and Simon which continues in the Judging Room after filming. Cameron is a drummer and says ‘It would open up so many opportunities for me’. He delivers a brilliant performance, but Simon is not convinced that that was enough to put him through. Piers disagrees – as does the audience. Ant and Dec step in and ask Cameron to drum along to ‘Let’s Get Ready To Rumble’, enough to make Amanda change her mind and put Cameron through.

But the row between Simon and Piers simmers away, coming to a head backstage. Having turned the audience round on Cameron’s behalf, Piers is crowing to Simon. ‘You might be losing your touch Simon’ taunts Piers. ‘I’m not losing my touch Piers. I know what the public like. You’re trying to make yourself popular – cheap. They weren’t your people, they were the drummer’s people.

Piers, not one to back down says ‘I got my way and you didn’t. And the public roared their approval. Perhaps you’re not quite as likeable as you once were Simon. Perhaps there’s a new kid on the block. That’s all I want to say.’

Crooner-cabana

And another act that splits the Judges is the King of the Blackpool Cabaret Circuit, 27 year old Richard Bates a musical impressionist. He explains ‘I feel like I’ve reached the top of where I am at the moment and I think I need a bit of my own limelight. I love this so much that when I go out on stage I go into another world whenever I’m performing and it’s like I’m on a different level. I’d like to be the new Barry Manilow.’

Again, Simon is unimpressed, but Amanda and Piers think Richard with his white suit and mock croc shoes is hilarious. They encourage him to do more impressions. He does Louis Armstrong, Neil Diamond and George Formby. Simon watches through his hands but again the fourth judge – the audience – cheer. ‘Simon says ‘The worst act I’ve seen in Manchester. Everything’s terrible, the suit, the necklace, the horrific organ.’ Can Amanda, Piers – and the audience save the day?

Hot Stuff

It’s a tough day for the Judges with some terrible acts turning up on stage. Freestyle Frisbee throwers, who drop their Frisbees; a man who sets fire to a unicycle and rides it later putting a fire torch down his pants and a man who sticks clothes pegs on his face. Simon says ‘It’s not a talent. It’s like setting fire to yourself.’

I Should Be So Lucky

31 year old trainee teacher Lucy dreams of being a singer. ‘I practise day and night. I eat, breathe and sleep music. I thought this Kylie song was going to kill me but once I got the timing I was fine. My ultimate dream is for Simon Cowell to give me a contract. But Lucy sings along to a walkman on stage, leaving the Judges distinctly unimpressed!

And in keeping with the Kylie theme Philip Grimer from Essex delivers the ultimate Kylie tribute, dressing as his idol and performing to her tracks. He explains to Ant and Dec ‘It’s all above board. There’s nothing funny about it’. Phillip, currently unemployed but looking for work in the Police Force is at the auditions with his wife. Again the Judges are left reeling with his terrible performance to her hit ‘Can’t Get You Out Of My Head’. Piers says ‘The one thing is Phillip is that non of us can get you out of our heads for a long time. It’s too monstrous for words.’

The Judges Are Impressed

But it’s not all bad. Crew 82 are four friends from Leeds. They say ‘We want to take beatboxing to the masses. That’s the plan.’ They deliver an amazing performance which prompts Piers to say ‘When I edited newspapers my main function in life was to find the new sensation that would get the whole country going bonkers. I watched you guys and I thought if I was editing The Mirror still I’d rather like you guys’.

And the Judges are also impressed by 13 year old George from Manchester. He tells Ant and Dec ‘When I get older I just want to be someone big. The family’s not great. We’re not exactly rich. I have to do my own things to pay for my own lessons so this could be my big chance.

‘My mates don’t like dancing. I’m the only guy in the school doing it.’

Simon gives George the benefit of his wisdom. ‘This is going to be great for the chicks young man!’

And 26 year old student Tony from London leaves Amanda in tears with an original composition that he sings accompanied by guitar. Tony has recently lost his brother to cancer and brings up his niece and nephews on his own. ‘It’s their dream to see me succeed. They look up to me’ he explains.

Cocktail Hour

And the Judges get a well earned drink when Neil and Neil the Bar Wizzards appear on stage. They are professional barmen and deliver an impressive performance – while getting on the Judges’ better style by making them cocktails. AS Simon says ‘Pointless but brilliant. Really fun to watch.’