Kevin Cruise doesn't impress grumpy Simon

Britain’s Got Talent auditionee Kevin Cruise has revealed that he didn’t even know who Simon Cowell was before he tried out for the show.

Perma-tanned Kevin impressed Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan with his sing and dance routine at his London audition but Simon Cowell blasted his act, saying that there was a reason Cruise ship performers have such a bad reputation.

Speaking to Digital Spy in a very tongue in cheek interview Kevin, who is the alter ego of comedian Martin Cabble, said:

“I didn’t even know who he was to be honest with you. I swear on my life, I’ve never seen him before. I’m always busy and off on my ship abroad. You see, I had the ship docked at Hammersmith harbour when someone told me that there was a variety show going on up the road. They said that I could do a couple of minutes, which was really lovely. I went on stage for a couple of minutes and then the next thing I know, I’m being judged!”

But Kevin doesn’t hold a grudge he conceded that he will welcome Simon Cowell on board his ship ‘The Fishy Rose’ for a price. He added:

“Do you know what? If he comes on the ship I’ll give a lovely little discount. I won’t give it to him for free, but I’ll probably knock off £20 or something.”