Simon Cowell did it! Sort of.
The X Factor boss finally walked up the aisle tonight, but fear not fans, it was all part of an elaborate, hilarious Comic Relief sketch.
The Red Nose Day team have been teasing us with details of the clip for weeks now but tonight we finally found out who the music mogul tied the knot with and in the end, it was no great surprise.
The video started with Britain’s Got Talent judges Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon parading about as bridesmaids and as Rylan Clark and The Showbears looked on, Amanda admitted:
“Never thought I’d see the day.”
“I’m so pleased he’s finally found the one.”
“Well he has done a lot of searching.”
The congregation featured many familiar faces from Cowell’s various ITV shows, including Stavros Flatley, Jonathan and Charlotte, Ashleigh and Pudsey, Spellbound.
Take That star Robbie Williams did a reading, which went:
“Today’s reading comes from Take That’s Greatest Hits, track 17, verse 3. Simon, you can do what you like, do what you like, no need to ask me, do what you want.”
Paul Potts then took to the altar to deliver a charming rendition of Sinitta’s hit tune, So Macho, accompanied by Stacey Solomon on the organ and choir boys JLS on backing vocals.
However as the vows began and Sinitta started crying into her leaves, David Walliams arrived in his best wedding dress shouting:
“Stop the wedding! My Simon I love you! It should be me and you getting married today. I love everything about you, I love that your hair looks like a badger, I love that your trousers come up to your armpits, I love that you wear pullovers too tight so they show off your nipples. Let’s run away somewhere, somewhere where nobody knows us. Just the two of us and Sinitta.”
Olly Murs was next, similarly attired and exclaimed:
“Oi stop the wedding. Simon I love you! Every time you hold me close, my heart skips, skips, skips a beat.”
X Factor presenter Dermot O’Leary was also dressed in his best white gown and crashed the ceremony declaring::
“Stop the wedding. Simon, I love you. It should be me and you in the final 2, when this goes to wedlock.”
Louis Walsh was next and pathetically cried:
“Wait! Simon don’t do this, I love you.”
Last up was Sharon Osbourne who had a slightly different motivation to the others. She laughed:
“I want to marry you. I want to marry you so I can ruin the rest of your life.”
After turning all of his suitors down, Cowell turned to his new bride and prepared to kiss her for the first time. Anticipation built and built and for a minute we hoped it was Cheryl Cole under the veil but the egomaniac ended up snogging the face off himself.
Did you enjoy tonight’s sketch? Leave your comments below…