Good evening everybody! It’s only been a few months since Big Brother last graced our screens, but tonight it returns, and we’re liveblogging the whole thing!

Davina’s live on stage outside the house right now, and she’s showing us parts of the housemates’ bodies! And now she’s in the bathroom, showing us around the place. She’s at pains to reminds us how the celebs don’t want us looking at them in the showers or toilets! You don’t know how bizarre it is to see Davina traipsing around the house – because we were there just a few days ago!

They’ve “gone to commercials” as we say in the industry…then we get to see the first celebs go into the house! Let’s do the rest of this in a Big Brother stylee…

21:09: Latoya Jackson reveals herself. Well, not in a naked sense, just yet. She’s got that hideous Jackson nose. Not the one she inherited from Daddy Joe, but possibly the one the whole family seems to have ordered from a surgeon’s catalogue. The crowd verdict: Boo!

Dressed in regimental Jackson black, she wanders in, immediately sees a welcome basket and goes on a quick tour of the house. She puts her bag down in a private bedroom!

21:14: Mutya Buena is coming in! This could be interesting – to see if a former Sugababe is as bitchy as the rumours suggest. The crowd verdict: Mixed reaction, mostly positive though.

More than Latoya, Mutya works the paparrazzi enclosure quite well, not put off by the odd “"boo”. As she enters the house, she asks herself “What the fuck am I doing?” She doesn’t seem to recognize Latoya Jackson!

21:19:  Next celebrity to enter the house is Verne Troyer – he’s waxing lyrical about his claims to fame – Austin Powers and hanging out at the Playboy mansion. Oh, just like Dr Evil, he’s got an “evil” (note the quotation marks) plan. Crowd verdict: crowd goes wild for the little man.

This dude is seriously tiny! I’m serious, it’s like he’s getting smaller the more I look at him.

Even better, he’s going in via a special entrance to the house. He gets in via the Diary Room, but needs a little help. Latoya recognizes him immediately. Is Verne an instant favourite to win? Hmmm.

21:30: Tommy Sheridan? A controversial politician from Scotland? “Conflict has been my life”? Are we looking at a bigger, harder George Galloway? The crowd verdict: Boooooo!

He stops and offers a few shots to the photographers, then proceeds up the steps to a huge sea of “booo’s”. When he gets into the house, Verne hands him the rules and they have a wee chat about choosing beds. But they haven’t realized that there’s a luxury bedroom yet!

21:34: Lucy Pinder. Oh god no. Actually…she’s quite pretty. How could I be so out of touch with the Page 3 industry? Oh, she just dissed Jordan in the VT! The crowd reaction: Surprisingly, mostly boos.

So far, my initial impression is favorable. However, if she shags Verne Troyer before the end of the night, I reserve the right to change my mind.

21:38: Former A1 ‘star’, Ben Adams is up next. I think he sold me a newspaper once… He claims to have just worked with Alexandra Burke since her X Factor win! The crowd verdict: Boooo! My verdict: seems a bit up his own arse considering he’s arguably the least famous in the house.

21:41: Tina Malone (her off Shameless) enters the house. She claims not to be a people pleaser, and I believe her. Just listening to her talking is scaring the crap out of me. The crowd verdict: Mostly positive. Me? Petrified.

21:49: Coolio is about to enter the building. He ponders whether his hair is more famous than his one big hit – Gangsta’s Paradise. There is much rapper bravado going on, you can smell the testosterone before you can see him. Crowd verdict: Mixed.

I now wonder if there’s any significance in which staircase a housemate walks down – the left or the right?

21:54: Next up, the incredibly irritating Michelle Heaton. She thinks she’s famous for being in Liberty X, but she’s more famous for being famous these days. She seems to want us to judge her fairly, which kind of wipes out my first sentence about her. Crowd verdict: Mostly boos, but she looks quite pretty and sedately dressed.

According to Davina, she wants the world to realise she isn’t a piss-head.

21:58: Terry Christian. Brilliant! Former presenter of The Word. This dude still looks cool, and is as ascerbic as I expected him to be. Slightly bitter by the sounds of things, but I think he’s going to be awesome! The crowd verdict: Mixed.

He takes the right staircase on the way in. In case you’re interested.

22:03: Arghhhh! The rumours are true – it’s Ulrika! She’s looking older, and slightly tired. They’re clearly saving her to the end as the main attraction, but the crowd are completely freakin’ mauling her. The worst crowd reaction of the evening by miles. I feel sorry for her.

Until Davina reveals that the one rule Ulrika’s one rule in the house would be that no-one can speak to her until she speaks to them first.

I missed which staircase she took. Whoops, Ulrika’s a two-cheek kissed, whereas Tommy Sheridan is clearly a one-cheek guy.

And we leave Big Brother with the housemates getting familiar with the rules of the house. What’s your take on the housemates this year? Loving them or hating them already?