I’m A Celebrity 2008: Esther Rantzen

Name: Esther Rantzen CBE

Age: 68

Occupation: TV Presenter and charity campaigner

Celebrity supporters: Anton du Beke, Vanessa Feltz, Simon Cowell, Bonnie Langford, Tom Conti, Lynsey de Paul, Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Phobias: Heights, snakes, spiders, cold water, fairground rides and the loo.

Special Skills: Getting on with people.

“I shall be bedraggled, I shall be without make-up, I shall be uncomfortable, but I think it’ll be funny.”

TV presenter Esther Rantzen says she’s excited about entering the jungle for a new challenge – but is worried it might end her career.

Esther has revealed that her family were ‘astonished and horrified’ when she told them she was going into the jungle – but she has decided to go anyway to push herself and live life to the full.

She has also revealed that she would love to meet George Clooney in the jungle but is worried about what she will look like with no make-up and in flat shoes.

Among her fears are heights, water, snakes and spiders – but the thing she’s worried about most of all is the state of the communal loo.

She says: “My children, who are used to me being barmy, now think I’m barmier than ever. At first they were appalled, astonished and they thought I was kidding… but they are wonderfully supportive, as they always are.

“Alas, they know that for the period that the show’s on the air, all their friends will be laughing at my expense, and teasing them. So it’s not kind of me to do this to them. But on the other hand they will be able to use my worst moments in the jungle against me in years to come, ‘Oh mum, you were such a wimp with that snake’. So I won’t be allowed to forget it. I’m sure during the run of the show they will be watching from behind a sofa with their hands over their eyes, dreading what’s going to happen next.

“I have to face the worst, the result might be abject humiliation, the end of a career…I might be provoking a terrible response from those near and dear to me, who will never again be able to look me in the eyes because they’ll so want to say I told you so.

“Everywhere I’ve been for the last few years people have said to me, ‘You’d never do I’m a Celebrity would you?’ to which I have been saying recently, ‘What a good question that is’, and changed the subject.

“So why am I doing it? First and foremost it gives me the chance to help a very good charity with any money we raise. Secondly, I think it’s a good idea at the age of 68 to push yourself – my guiding principle is, if not now, when? It’s a challenge, it’s an opportunity, and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. Okay, it’s not sensible, there will be those who think I must be crazy. And maybe that’s another reason, I’m crazy.

“The thing about being at my stage of life is that when opportunities come your way to do something new and different and dangerous, I do think you should grab them. Life is for living. And I would not be able to live with myself if I turned down this challenge.

”It’s an adventure, a terrific adventure. I will discover things about myself, some that I may not want to know, it will be quite revealing. I really can’t predict whether I will sink or swim.”

Esther says her dream campmate would be George Clooney – but that she doesn’t think he would stand a chance of survival.

She says: “Wouldn’t it be lovely if George Clooney was there? But very dangerous for him. Gosh, I think he’d be torn limb from limb by all the ladies present.”

And the only type of people she hopes not to meet in the jungle are serial killers. She says she doesn’t mind peculiar people because they are interesting.

She says: “There are very few people in the world that I dislike; I don’t want Hitler in there. I don’t know if ITV recruits serial killers, but I wouldn’t want a violent criminal sharing the jungle with me. But apart from that, I think it’ll be fun meeting people, even peculiar people. In fact peculiar people are usually even more interesting. I have my peculiar moments. So I’m looking forward to the people.”

Esther says she is worried about most aspects of Bushtucker Trials but her biggest fear about going into the jungle is the state of the camp loo.

She says: “Everything worries me about the Bushtucker trials, everything, everything. They are torture. This is torture television isn’t it?

“Heights, snakes, spiders, cold water, I loathe them all, at home I hate fair ground rides…I can’t go on roller-coasters, they frighten me witless. So if that sort of ordeal faces me, then I might have to try a little self-hypnosis.

“I would be pretty scared of getting out of my depth under water because I don’t swim well, so I might panic in a deep river. But then if I was out of my depth I’d probably drown, so I wouldn’t have time to panic. It would be too late.

“I don’t think I’d much like a spider or a worm in my ear. Visualising a worm in your ear is not pleasant. Or ants and maggots in my hair. I’m not sure I’d like to sleep with a rat.

“And I have a feeling the loo might be nasty. If I have to put them in order of horror, worse than the snakes, worse than the kangaroo’s bits, worse than hanging over some enormous chasm and getting sick to my stomach, will be the loo. I once went to Glastonbury, I’ve never forgotten the loos there, the worst I’ve ever encountered. So far. So this experience has already unearthed a deep-seated fear in me. I knew about my trepidation about snakes, rats and spiders – but now it turns out I’m even more scared of the loo. Oh dear.”

Esther says that the physical things she will miss most are her luxuries. She is worried about what she will look like without make-up and said she has had to practise wearing flat shoes.

She said: “I’m trying to get used to walking in flat shoes. I bought a pair and I’m practising walking in them a little further every day – ten metres, twenty metres.

“I’m never seen in flat shoes and certainly never without make-up. Or with flat hair, dripping with sweat or being attacked by spiders, ants, and rats. I keep away from ferocious nature usually. So this will be a whole new set of circumstances – Lord knows what I’ll look like. But I don’t think one can afford to care about that.

“I spend my life in stilettos, or kitten heels. A little bit of silk next to the skin, a soft piece of cashmere here and there, that’s my style. So jungle trousers and sturdy boots are not part of my experience. But my hope is that when I have the chance to look back on it all, I’ll find it very funny. There’ll I’ll be, bedraggled, without make-up, soaked to the skin, and shaking with fear, I think it’ll be funny.

“My normal getting-out-of-bed process consists of a slow gentle awakening and a foamy bath. Then I spend the next hour trying to achieve miracles with paint and powder and hairdryers and every tool and artifice that civilisation produces. So being without all that is going to be quite a shock to my system – it’s going to be hysterical. I don’t care. I’m looking forward to it. It’s great to have an adventure like this, because it creates so many new experiences and unique memories, it lengthens your life. Unless you happen to get bitten by a poisonous snake or eat something toxic, then of course it gets suddenly much shorter.

“I have never done anything like this before, not even been camping as a child, or spent a single night in a caravan or a tent so everything looks intimidating to me. I’ve never rambled, like Janet Street-Porter, or explored wildernesses, like Carol Thatcher.

“I’ve always stayed well inside my comfort zone. l never walk if I can take a car, I never stand if I can sit down, I only sleep on my own pillows, I can’t bear strange hotel beds. A sleeping bag in the pouring rain surrounded by scorpions? No problem!

“Mind you, although I never was a Girl Guide and I’ve never been inside a tent, I have slept once or twice in a sleeping bag. But I don’t think I’ve ever swapped my trusty stilettos for jungle boots before, and I’ve certainly never yomped or trekked.

“When it comes to wild animals, there again my experience is limited. I have held a snake once but it was very domesticated. There was a mouse in my basement recently but I kept well away from it.

“So now at last is the moment to face my fears, and just get on with it. I can’t predict how I’ll deal with the physical challenges. I am quite frightened of heights so I’ve never had jump out of a plane or swung on a bungie. I’ve never eaten odd bits of marsupial but I have eaten my mother’s cooking, so that practice may stand me in good stead. Gosh she’d kill me if she knew I’d said that. Bless her heart.”

Esther confesses that she is useless in the kitchen, so has been practising in case she takes on the role of camp cook.

She says: “I took cookery lessons, things to do with rice and beans. I am such a bad cook. I had some friends round recently and made them dinner – it was inedible. It was so vile, they pushed it round their plates and left it in little heaps. Perhaps I’m better just with rice and beans and water, maybe that’s my strength. I’ll have a go.”

Esther said she hopes to be a good listener in the camp and listen to people’s problems as well as entertaining people with her grandma’s parlour games.

She says: “I think my instinct will be to try to learn, and watch how the chemistry works. I think it would be a disaster if I came in strong, like the bossy old lady, I think that would not be appropriate.

“I’ll try to listen as much as I can and respond to people as warmly and well as I can, because I’m not there to make tough circumstances even tougher.

“And because I’ve had children of my own, and I had a wonderful grandmother who used to entertain the family, I have a collection of daft parlour games and old riddles and ancient songs I’ve learned over the years, so if we get desperately bored I could offer some ideas to pass the time. But if people find that irritating I won’t impose it on anyone.”

Esther also added that she doesn’t feel she will go on to win the show and that the thing she will miss the most about home are her friends and family, all the people she loves.

She says: “I’m not especially optimistic, I have taken on challenges before, many a time, but they have all been intellectual battles or professional battles. I’ve never had to battle my way through a jungle before. So these are interesting new boundaries. I’m looking forward to it.

“Not that I’m confident. I don’t think for a moment that I’ll do well – that’s not part of the equation – but I’ve never really minded failure. I think that you learn from your mistakes. So if I screech for help in the first five minutes, well there you are… I will have learnt something new.

“The toughest aspect will be missing the people I love, my friends and family. I ring them all four or five times a day every day. It will be very lonely without them.”

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