I’m A Celebrity 2009 – Day 2, Liveblogged!

by Gerard McGarry

I'm A Celebrity logoG’day all! It’s our second day of I’m A Celebrity, and we’re aghast that Katie Price is the focal point of this episode.

But first, a comedy montage of celebrity flatulence as the gassy Z-listers snore, fart and grunt their way through the night. Well, except for delicate Camilla, who has a problem with the insects. Annoying Kim clucks her way through the morning, alternating between mother hen and stern headmistress. She wants everybody to smile through the experience, despite being the #1 source of the celebrity frowns.

Anyway, later on Kim tells they Great British Public that “they can all toss off”. Meaning that she called the viewers wankers. There’s some concern about how she’ll accomplish the task with her flyaway boobies, and some thoughtful celebs ask if she has a sports bra. Of course, they stop short of offering their own sports bras, but that’s because non of them have a bra that large and reinforced. Well, except Price and she hasn’t arrived yet.

Kim’s watery grave

Kim gets locked in a glass coffin and submerged underwater like a Snow White no-one really wants to save. Then they start to dump in the yabbies. And insects. Still, you’ve got to hand it to Kim, she bears being covered in insects with amazing good grace, even if she does sound like a second rate Carry On movie “oooh, something just bit my bum” and “somebody’s nipping my bosoms”. Ooooh, matron!

It suddenly strikes me that it would be so much funnier if they threw in a few flesh-eating minibeasts. Watch out for Kim Woodburn-inspired drinking games…every time she says “Luvvie”… She manages to retrieve all eleven stars for the task though.

We love to hate her…

Yep, next up celebrity troll beast Jordan re-enters the jungle, still calling herself “The Pricey” which makes us shudder every single time we hear it. Ever tabloid aware, she pretends that it’s a relief to be away from the papparazzi flashblubs. But we all know that this move is calculated to give her more exposure in the papers.

Lucy Benjamin tries to see the bright side of Katie Price rejoining the jungle group. Unfortunately she thinks they’ll be able to pick her brains. Justin refers to her as a “heatseeking missile in slingbacks”. We’re wondering whether this will be Price’s Jade Goody moment, where she destroys her career by taking a backward step…

There’s much discussion about Price in the camp, with many other celebs cringing and others claiming they’ll give her a fair crack of the whip. But really, given her ability to absorb tabloid front pages, how will these fading stars react to someone like Price stealing their limelight (and possibly getting paid 4 times their appearance fees)? Kim warns Stuart that he’s not sleeping with Jordan, while Gino proudly proclaims that he’s Team Andre. This much I love!

Katie’s entry (into the jungle)

A hefty cleavage pushes its way into the thick jungle undergrowth. But before la Jordan can join the camp, she’s given a task to put balls in a bag. A simple task for a seasoned pro, you might think, but she recoils in disgust at the water. Fortunately, she wins seven gifts to bring into camp with her. Unfortunately, there’s a catch – she’ll have to sacrifice the camp’s luxury items. What a great first impression.

Elsewhere, Colin and Justin burble about how much they’re enjoying the camp thus far. Unfortunately, a comedy-sized pair of boobs on a skinny shapeless pair of legs chooses that moment to wander into the camp. Instead of killing it and eating it, they welcome it into the camp. Classy guy Gino says he’d prefer to have Pamela Anderson. But he’s already got his favourite pop star Sam Fox, what more does he need?

The campers reluctantly hand over their luxury items, seeming a tiny bit miffed. However, reporting back, Price says she felt quite welcome. Yeah, until they booby-trap her bed, that is…(I hope they do, did I mention I’m Team Andre too?)

Closure

Katie Price seems to be on a mission to drop the word ‘closure’ into every conversation she has. Just in case you haven’t read about it, Price met her former husband, Peter Andre on this show six years ago. And although the relationship was played out in front of television cameras, and was gushed about in her bazillion biographies, it ended sadly amid rumours of infidelity and drunken sluttery. Needless to say, the divorce played out in front of the cameras as well which has not been as harmful for either of their careers as you might think.

Justin Ryan tellingly tells the camera that he might be reevaluating his preconceptions of Price. He didn’t like her before she went into the jungle, but that’s (apparently) changing. It almost feels scripted…

Thankfully, just to pretend that the entire episode isn’t about Katie Price and her closure, they show Camilla Dallerup having a minor meltdown about something.

Next Bushtucker Trial

Before we leave for the evening, the candidates for the next bushtucker trial are revealed. Justin might be in for it. And it might be “The Pricey”. Hilariously, Price says that she’s not eligible, because she had a day off (despite having just gone in!). But guess what? It’s Price for the next bushtucker trial!

See you tomorrow for more I’m A Celebrity liveblogging!

Gerard McGarry is a jet-setting, world-renowned Reality TV critic. In real life, Gerard works with web and social media strategy. His personal blog is at GerardMcGarry.com or follow him on Twitter @gerrybot