I’m A Celebrity 2010: Day One update!

by Lisa McGarry

I’m A Celebrity – Day One Update!

GILLIAN’S JUMPY AT DINNER

Gillian was already beginning to wind up the other celebrities in Camp Sheila with her bossiness and jumpiness around the jungle critters.

Kangaroo fillet was on the menu for both camps on their first proper night in the jungle. In Camp Sheila, Kayla couldn’t believe that the meat was edible saying “I didn’t know you could eat kangaroo”, but both Britt and Gillian both got down to bossing their campmates around and organising the food preparation. TV nutritionist Gillian had prepared herself to be camp chef and was determined to fulfil the role. “Too many cooks spoil the soup” retorted Britt.

And Gillian continued to annoy her fellow campmates with her jumpiness around jungle critters. She flew into a panic upon seeing a spider on her bed, and continued to be nervous if anything moved. “Stop it, you’re making me panic” said Stacey.

Britt commented “Gillian is like a child. A child with too much sugar. You need to calm her down.”

And Gillian complained tearfully “I’m finding it very hard. I have a serious phobia to the point I could faint if I see a spider. I fill like I’m having a heart attack. It’s like a serious panic attack when I see them.”

But despite her phobia, Gillian managed to sleep soundly on her jungle bed and was the last to awake the following morning. “Amazingly I slept really well. Last night I felt really overwhelmed and I felt very emotional and I thought I can’t do this. Anyway, I did it. I survived one night in this jungle. In this hell hole.”

Meanwhile in Camp Bruce, Linford prepared dinner whilst Shaun had forty winks in a chair. “That chair is very, very comfy” a grateful Shaun said after waking with a start from his nap.

DIFFERENT WORLDS

Elated from their Trial win, the girls had retreated to the luxury villa where they feasted on champagne and a dinner of grilled fish, rice and vegetables, cooked and served by villa staff. “Better than the penis” joked Stacey as she munched on her meal. “It’s washed down the kangaroo penis”.

But the talk soon turned to the boys and how they would fare in their jungle encampment. “I feel so sorry for them” said Britt from the head of the table.

Meanwhile, the boys were unceremoniously dumped in a jungle clearing. Finding boots, torches and a map, they were left as they emerged from a blacked out vehicle.

As they walked to their makeshift camp Lembit claimed that he was enjoying the experience. “This isn’t a pretend thing. I’m apprehensive about animals but the team is working now.”

Nigel, ever the gentleman, explained that had the boys won the Trial, they would have swapped places with the girls. As it was, the five of them struggled through the jungle with only a simple map between them.

On arriving at the camp, the boys set about lighting their fire with the straw and flint provided. But after twenty minutes struggling, they noticed that Shaun had been smoking a cigarette – lit by a lighter that he had in his pocket! Laughing, Linford said Shaun, we tried to get the fire lit and you’ve got a lighter”.

Aggro added “And I bet he was smoking whilst we were doing it!”

Fire lit, the boys set about cooking dinner – five potatoes and ten sausages between them.

THE MORNING AFTER THE NIGHT BEFORE

Whilst the girls woke up on fluffy pillows and enjoyed a breakfast of juice, fruit and pastries, the boys found themselves on damp groundsheets in their jungle camp. “I’m going to kill someone for this” joked Nigel. “And Ant and Dec are first on the list”.

The boys were picked up in a Camp Bruce helicopter, whilst the girls left their luxury villa in a Camp Sheila one. They land in a jungle clearing where the pilot brusquely arranged them into two groups.

The first was comprised of Kayla, Stacey, Linford and Shaun and had to skydive into the jungle. “That’s wicked” said Stacey. “It’s only jumping I suppose”.

Linford remained silent as Shaun said nervously “I’ve spent a lot of time in these things (helicopters) but I’ve never jumped out of one of the f****rs.”

Linford jumped first, shortly followed by Shaun. “That was alright. I need a cig. I got a real buzz out of it. Proper,” said Shaun afterwards.

Kayla completed the jump next and complained that she felt sick afterwards as she lay on the ground recovering.

And finally Stacey jumped saying that she was the “luckiest girl in the world.”

ROWING AND ROWING

Meanwhile Britt, Gillian, Sheryl, Aggro, Lembit and Nigel had to canoe into the jungle prompting tension between Britt and Gillian and on the boys’ team between Nigel and Lembit culminating in Nigel falling into the water.

Britt took control of her team acting as cox while Sheryl and Gillian rowed. The three of them worked against each other and ended up going round in circles as Gillian guffawed. “Its not funny” shouted Britt. “Don’t do anything. I’ll do it. Its easier” she continued, taking control of the situation.

Meanwhile Lembit bored Aggro and Nigel by going into great detail about the physics of rowing. But they rowed well as a team until they got to the shore when Lembit got out of the boat, prompting Nigel to fall in. Soaked and spluttering, he pulled himself onto the bank saying “I’m going to annihilate him and I think some people will be very pleased.”

Lembit said afterwards “I think there’ll be a bit of tension”.

Having braved the lake, each team had to crawl through a tunnel to make it to their jungle destination. Britt was first for the girls and talked Gillian through despite the latter’s screams. Sheryl followed last.

It was Lembit who brought up the rear for the boys and finding the crawl difficult was clearly annoyed when Aggro wound him up by saying he had a leech on his hand. It seemed that the tension from boat was there to stay.

PRETTY IN PINK

Britt, Sheryl and Gillian were the first to arrive at Camp Shelia and the Hollywood star was pleased with how pretty it looked, Britt said: “We just saw a load of pink in the middle of the jungle and it was pretty cute. Its all done pretty cute with pink beds and pink sheets and pink things to snuggle down in.

But she then joked to her fellow camp mates, “How many nights can you go without sleeping before you die?”

They were finally joined by Stacey and Kayla who were still excited about their sky dive. A relieved Britt was thrilled to see them and said, “we were worried about you. Well I was anyway.”

Over in Camp Bruce, Nigel, Aggro and Lembit arrived to blue beds, an arm chair but it was the classic image of the model in the tennis outfit who cheekily reveals her behind which caused the biggest stir amongst the boys.

Aggro said: “I love the picture already!” Whilst Nigel admitted in the Bush Telegraph “When we arrived at camp we saw five beds. There was a big chair you could sit in, a comfortable chair actually and that famous poster of the girl scratching her arse wearing tennis gear. Very amusing!”

They were soon joined by Linford and Shaun who were quick to tell them all about their sky dive with Linford admitting it was the better than winning medals, he said “It was the dogs bollocks. The best thing in the world I’ve ever done. Its better than anything, winning awards, anything.”

GRUBBY GIRLS

None of the girls braved the jungle shower and all were complaining that they felt grubby. Ex Bond girl Britt said “I feel extremely grubby. I don’t have any knickers or a clean bra. I haven’t gone two days in the same pair of nick nicks since I was a teenager!”

THE CHEEKY BOYS

Lembit found himself the butt of the boys’ jokes as they wound him up about his relationship with Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia. Nigel teased “Because you’re known for the Cheeky Girl incident. It put you on the map.”

Lembit tried to explain his situation. “I met her at an aftershow party. She didn’t know who I was.”

But Linford cracked up laughing. “Good on him. If you can get a cheeky girl and you become a cheeky boy, its all good. All power to his elbow. Could you tell the difference (between them)? He could but he didn’t want to,” he joked.

Lembit looked uncomfortable by the ribbing but took it in his stride. “It’s a strange thing to travel 12,000 miles from home and hear someone sing the Cheeky Song in the jungle. They were good guys about it. They had a laugh about it. And they say it was really impressed and all that. It’s not something I tend to boast about.”

Lisa McGarry

Lisa has been watching reality TV for too long now. She won't do any housework unless 'Big Brother' announces it over the tannoy and everything she does has to be put to a public vote!