Howdy, Unreality TV readers! We’re planning a night of I’m A Celebrity fun and games and wouldn’t it be cool if Alex Reid showed up in the jungle anyway and proposed to Sam Fox instead?

Yes, we’re resuming our liveblog after a hard-partying weekend and two-day hangover. Yes, Unreality TV was very drunk, did some dancing and needed a couple of early nights to recover! All the same, we’re devastated that Lucy Benjamin got her ass voted out of the jungle.

So, bear with me as I get reacquainted with the camp and work out who I love and who I just like as friends.

First task…

Let’s cut straight to the first task – Stuart Manning and Gino Di Unpronoucable elect themselves. It’s a good job Jordan isn’t still around, because there’s no way in hell she could fit her ginormous fake boobs into those small tubes.

Stuart and Gino have to work together to counterbalance two perspex tubes while retrieving stars to win the task. If they overbalance, they’ll end up getting tipped into the dirty water below.

A bit of miscommunication between the duo leads to Stuart sliding out the end of the tube and getting soaked. Take that, prettyboy! It’s brilliant watching Gino getting all upset, because he reverts to that Italian stereotype of shouting and gesticulating wildly with his hands. You half-expect him to yell “Mama mia!” As an unintentional comedy duo, they’re still funnier than Ant & Dec!

Best of all, Stuart drops a star on Gino and says “It’s on your back.” Gino replies: “Which back?” Which back? How many you got, Gino?

At the end of the task though, they’ve gained all the stars. Looked like a fun game though – I’d have loved a go at that one! And finally, the two return triumphant to the camp.

Sam and Sabrina…

…are ‘busting’ to do a task together. That’s a free headline for you, The Sun!

We get a lot of pathetic pleading from the campers. Sam Fox addresses us as Great Britain, a throwback to her Page 3 stunna days? Not sure whose begging was the campest – I think it was Colin McAllister… And does anyone else think Jimmy White looks like an overweight Gary from EastEnders? It’s been bigging me since the start.

Gino, the new Cilla Black?

Gino, that Italian love god, wants to be the successor to the ultimate ginger Scouse pimp, Blind Date presenter Cilla Black. He’s pushing hard for Sabrina to hook up with Stuart. He ropes in Colin to give her some extra hassle about it. Although he must be on to something, because Sabrina freaks out every time they start talking about her and Stuart.

Sabrina tries to rope in septugenarian screen legend George Hamilton to back her up. But George is rather ineffectual and just sort of looks mildly amused, as he always does…

George talks to Stuart

George tells Stuart that he thinks he could make a good career for himself if he wins Celebrity this year. But he warns Stuart that he might need to open up a bit more for people to relate to him a bit more.

Afterward, Stuart becomes emotional and wanders out of camp for a private moment. And apparently not thinking about Gino’s comments, Sabrina follows him straight out. He talks to her about his father’s death and how he’s dealing with his feelings. He also muses on the other campmates and whether he’s either boring or just has no interesting stories.

Truth Or Dare

Truth Or Dare isn’t just a crap old Madonna movie. It’s also a game to lighten the hearts of the contestants. And a great way to find out more about the contestants. We get an intimite moment between Colin and Justin where – for a brief moment – they remind us of Cannon and Ball. Old married couple and all that.

And now it’s time for the vote off… it’s Colin McAllister, which splits him and Justin up. Justin’s in tears as Colin crosses the bridge. Ah, Colin really does put the camp in…er…camp.