Welcome back everybody – hope your Monday was a gentle introduction to the week ahead and not too taxing.

Sadly, we’re shedding a tear here at Unreality TV as George Hamilton made good on his threat to quit the jungle. We all loved George and he was one of our favourites for the final… I wonder if that’s why they didn’t kick anybody out yesterday.

The show opens with some emotional departure scenes, and then goes back to the earlier rumblings from George about leaving. Kim tells Justin that George is thinking of going, and Justin thoughtfully shares this with the rest of the contestants.

In the Bush Telegraph, George tells us that he’s decided that he doesn’t want to compete against his friends in the camp. He reveals this to the campmates, and Stuart emotionally tells him that he’ll be missed. The celebrity tributes come pouring in. It’s really touching to see the bond that the celebrities have forged in the last couple of weeks. Normally, I’d be cynical about it, but George seems to have made his decision for a noble reason.

Though a sobbing Justin pushed it a little far with “And that’s why he’s George Hamilton…” Don’t be surprised if Justin starts a wee cult around Hamilton Worship.

Bushtucker

Sabrina’s keen to be on this trial. Who will she choose to go with her? I wonder….hmmm? Oh, what a surprise! She’s chosen Stuart. I would never have guessed she’d do that. Horny Gino is hoping that they’ll get it on while they’re away from camp.

The task is called Buzz Off and somebody – Sabrina – is going to have to complete an obstacle course dressed in a bee costume. Taking their cue from Celebrity Big Brother, the Bee helmet is rigged to connect to a copper pipe that runs above the course. If the antennae connects with the pipe, it’ll light up and…Stuart will get an electric shock.

This one looks impossible….

Brilliantly, Sabrina is rubbish at this task, so Stuart gets more than his fair share of shocks. But more than that, he gets routinely covered in crap and insects. Not the romantic getaway that Gino had envisioned for the two of them. Stuart’s sense of humour is being tested to its limits. It gets funny in the middle, when Stuart starts screaming “Down down down, please go down!” Ah, the time’s I’ve uttered those words…

I don’t know where Stuart is getting bitten, but it sounds painful. After earning only three stars, Sabrina turns and bursts out laughing at the sorely-gunked Stuart. He looks like a refugee from a Saturday morning kids’ TV show.

When they return, Gino leaps on Sabrina and quizzes her about whether there was any action during the trial. He’s such a randy wee Italian.

Celebrity Chest

Justin and Gino take on the next task – to retrieve a giant key from up a tree. They have to construct a ladder by moving the rungs up one at a time. Easy enough, but simply time consuming…until the pair get attacked by bees. Justin goes to pieces (as usual by now), but they get their key.

Of course, as with all the celebrity chest tasks, getting the chest is easy. Answering the question is never going to be easy. Which – of Canada and Australia – has the largest coastline? They opt for Australia, as it is surrounded by water, but of course they’re wrong. Another record for I’m A Celebrity.

This sparks a hunger-fuelled series of videos of the celebrities craving real food. Never have the words “Curly Wurly” been uttered with such reverence.

Chocolate Cake

Yet another quiz for the contestants – they can win a chocolate cake if they get questions about themselves correct. However, if they get enough questions wrong, the cake will drop into a tank of cockroaches, making it somewhat less edible.

Gino gets his question wrong, leaving it up to Stuart to get his question right. If he gets it wrong, sayonara cake! After much deliberation, he hits the “A” button, and it rings correct. Cut to a shot of Kim Woodburn looking orgasmic while stuffing her face with cake.

George’s Last Supper

George and the others gather for one last meal before he leaves. Gino cooks an Italian meal, and Sabrina serenades George. Stuart can barely contain his excitement. I was rather hoping she’d give us a verse of Scandalous. Instead we get the mushy That’s What Friends Are For.

And then it’s time for George to go…and everybody cries. Stuart claims it “felt like I was saying goodbye to my Dad again” which makes me feel uncomfortable. Kim’s inconsolable, and Justin’s well, Justin.

And George is in the studio for his exit interview now. His first claim is that his hair was on viagra, then insists that he’ll be taking some soon! He explains that he left because his fellow contestants are from Britain and that he wanted to bow out.

He has a laugh at Kim’s expense when he says that she snored like a Warthog. Asked who he wants to win, he says Gino. That’s interesting, because I would have thought he had a better bond with Stuart (they played up the father figure thing a lot) or Kim (they played up the old married couple thing a lot). Perhaps he feels – as a lot of us do – that Gino is the most natural and entertaining celebrity in the jungle.

Bottom Two

Who’s up for eviction tonight? It might be Sabrina. And it might be Justin. We’ll find out tomorrow who has the least votes. Voting lines have reopened. I’m totally conflicted – camp Scottish dude or hot former pop star? Actually, I think Justin is more entertaining. And I’m a teeny bit cynical about the ‘budding romance’ between Stuart and Sabrina.

Who’re you going to vote to save?