Welcome back for another evening of bitching about Katie Price. Sorry, I mean live coverage of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, the longest titled show on TV at the moment.

First off, Camilla Dallerup has walked out of camp. Hopefully ITV get a return of a portion of her fee, since she completely failed to entertain us. Just getting that off my chest.

Kim’s snoring

George complains about Kim’s hog-like snoring. Actually, he calls her a water buffalo. Even Gino can hear the snorting sound from outside the caravan Kim and George are sharing.

Jut noticed – George looks a little bit like Archie Mitchell on Botox. Doesn’t he?

But the salacious Hamilton revelations continue – he tells us, sensationally, that Elizabet Taylor doesn’t snore. Fantastic. I’m sure that just radically altered the public perception of the serial divorcee. Wonderful George – have a word with Katie Price about what works as tabloid fodder these days.

Katie Price hits the bottle

Well, despite its cramped conditions, at least the ginormous bottle they’re about to lock Katie Price in is airy and bright. Unlike the hole she got stuck in last night. They load it up with literally thousands of ‘orrible insects and bung her inside.

Oh, and this is the brilliant part – whenever she gets a question wrong, they rotate the bottle. Like a cement mixer, it dumps the bugs all over her. She’s literally crawling in bugs. Aw, sick, they’re literally falling into her mouth. Worse still, they’re bombarding her with obscure Australian trivia questions which she has no hope of getting right.

People on Twitter are gleefully loving this torture. Anyone else feel itchy watching those bugs crawling all over her? And in a dramatic break with tradition,  I actually felt a little sorry for her there. She got six stars in the end, which she felt was good because of how little she knew about Australia (the country her ex-husband came from).

Ant makes an uncharacteristically good quip about a cockroach that was on Price’s body – “If he stayed there long enough, he’d have got his own ITV2 show!”

Shockingly, more Jordan

Kim Woodburn speaks for the nation when she accuses Price of being a complete attention seeker. She says, don’t pretend you don’t love the publicty, you’re posing in the shower for the cameras, knowing full well you’re on the front page of all the papers. Brilliant. Kim rises about 1,000 points in my estimation. Don’t pretend you came in here for peace and quiet. Inside the hut, Kim says “To be honest, I can’t take another two weeks of this bull!”

The one thing that didn’t happen was: we didn’t get much of a straight answer from Miss Price. Sure, she was flippant about Kim’s on-the-money critique, but she had no comeback for those accusations.

Celebrity Chest: Stuart and Sabrina

Stuart Manning and Sabrina Washington take the next celebrity chest task, which is a piddling little exercise – find some rocks underwater and line them up to do some maths. For a moment, Stuart frowns himself a monobrow and looks like a caveman, which does nothing for our confidence in his arithmetic abilities.

Eventually they retrieve the chest and return to camp. The question is about which track was the seventh on Mis-Teeq’s Greatest Hits album. Gino – fresh from knowing Sam Fox’s back catalogue, admits to knowing the running order of the album. Then he pretends it’s actually his wife’s. Macho. So macho. (Sinitta, 1985)

Camilla wimps out

Only a few days into camp, Camilla lets the team down. Of course, they all chirp in unison “Och, you’re not letting the team down.” But as Colin admits, the vultures circled quite quickly and they were (secretly) glad to get rid of her. Echoes of Nicole Appleton in that girl.

Anyway, as Lisa reported earlier, Camilla is being replaced by sporting personality Joe Bugner. At least Jimmy White knows who he is. We don’t ‘do’ sports personalities here on Unreality TV. But we love his hair.

Brilliantly, Joe has great local knowledge of the jungle, and around the campfire he frightens the delicate celebrities about deadly spiders and the dangers they need to be aware of. Looking at George Hamilton, he says “This is not Beverly Hills”. He warns Colin and Justin about getting sucked dry. By leeches!

Live trial

This is the first live trial of the series. Joe is apparently exempt from this task. Shockingly, Katie Price is the first possibility to do the task. Justin is the second. Hmmm, wonder if that’s because he’s been saying nice things about her? But no, Price gets to do the trial. This is getting boring. And she’s crying on screen. And shaking.

Ant & Dec look uncomfortable talking to her, don’t they? As with everything Katie Price, we’re left wondering whether she’s faking nerves or if it’s real. So they take a break (presumably to pump a couple of Valium into her). They’ve done everything here to make the public feel guilty for voting for Price, even a “If you’re watching kids, Mummy loves you…” Shameful programming. Did she think the public loved her?

First up, she has to plunge her face into a vat of slime and retrieve a star with her mouth. It’s gagtastic! Next she has to probe a facefull of mealworms in search of the next one. This is rancid. The third part of the task is to remove words from a globe filled with snakes then match the word to the quote on a nearby blackboard. She finishes this one quickly and brings her total up to five stars.

It’s a much more humble Katie Price we’re seeing here tonight, folks. Being made to do three tasks in a row, at the whim of the public, must be taking its toll on her. It’s not pleasant to watch though. I’d rather they sent her home than go through this humiliation every night.

After flaking out on drinking a glass of beatle juice (not Paul McCartney’s hopefully), the tasks get easier from there. Nothing more disgusting, except a relatively fun task at the end – answering a maths question by providing the correct number of eels as the answer. Although she worked the answer out, the eels eel-luded her.

The final task is to stand in plastic coat and boots, which they fill with insects. It’s not pretty, but nothing she hasn’t endured before. Ant & Dec unashamedly continue the pro-Pricey movement when they turn to the other celebs and ask if they’d have done that task. Anyone else get the feeling they’re being manipulated? Ah hell, vote her up for one more task and we’ll see how real or fake tonight’s display was.