I’m A Celebrity: The David Gest Talent Show…..
It was the moment the whole camp, and all of Britain, had been waiting for – David’s talent extravaganza.
The legendary music producer has put on shows all over the world featuring some of the biggest names in pop but never before had he staged such star spangled concert.
As an appreciative audience took their seats, Master of Ceremonies Gest took centre stage.
He quickly introduced the first act …..the Klass Bula Dancers.
The dancing ladies took centre stage and belted out a bizarre ditty:
“Let us clean the house with a mop, I’m a strawberry, you’re a strawberry, I’m a strawberry, Stop, Caterpillar.�
‘Slut Eater and Buckaroo’ were next up. The trio of Lauren, Scott and Phina did their version of Shirley Bassey’s Big Spender and then it was Jan’s turn in the spotlight.
Leaning seductively against a tree and backlit by a lantern Ms Leeming gave her own very special rendition if Summer Time to an audience stunned into silence.
“Please welcome a young lady making her debut tonight,� David announced. “She starred in Emmerdale – Malandra Burrows.�
Taking a moment to compose herself, Mal told the assembled throng: “Thank you so much. I’d like to dedicate this song to all my new antipodean friends. Thanks so much for sharing this experience. It’s been absolutely amazing.�
Betcha By Golly Wow was accompanied by what could have been misconstrued to be a slow handclap from the crowd. Warming to her moment in the limelight she then gave a second number – Stylistics classic ‘I Can’t Give You Anything’.
“Wow, such talent in the Bush,� a stunned Gest proclaimed before adding:
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the Momma of the organisation, the one everyone loves, two tons of fun – Faith Brown.�
Dragging Toby up to help her she serenaded him with the Sugababes’ Push The Button before collapsing in hysterics.
Saving the best til last David told the crowd: “To end this wonderful array of talent, it is talent I think that’s what we are doing, are you ready for the theme of I’m A Celebrity – Part 6.�
Whoops and whistles accompanied David and Toby who performed their world exclusive rap which has been literally days in the making.
A stage struck David stumbled over the words but was baled out by his rapping partner.
“It started at the Versace everybody having a last meal;
Eyeing each other up for the very first time, it was quite a big deal;
10 egos in the place, keeping an eye on their own space;
No-one had the notion they might cause quite a commotion;
10 good reasons not to leave this show;
10 good reasons why we shouldn’t go
I’m A Celebrity! No food
I’m A Celebrity! No booze
I’m A Celebrity! No nookie
I can’t even find myself a bloody chocolate cookie.
We are tired of beans and rice and tired of ticks and lice
Living in a camp full of rats and mice
Doing a Bushtucker Trial with crocodiles
Going up a hill to find a chest gotta grab a star and do my best
I’m A Celebrity! No food
I’m A Celebrity! No booze!
I’m A Celebrity! No nookie
I’m A Celebrity! I’m going loopy
I can’t even push out a goddam poopie,� yelled Toby
“Holy Foccacia�
Courtesy Of ITV

December 4th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
i think that this song is the best. i was a big indent on the camp as everyone in the nation. i cant find the song on the internet. can u send it me ? i was quite upset when David Gest Got knocked out of the competition as it wasnt the same with him telling his story about vaginacasemen (whether its true i do not know) but it make me laugh and when he did his trial i peed myself with laughter.
From Emilie and Sarah