Big Brother 2012: Is Deana Uppal being bullied? Your verdict please
As fans of Big Brother will know, there are two issues that are guaranteed to cause a ruckus both within and outside the BB house, and they are allegations of racism and/or bullying…
And right now, there’s a rather big question mark hanging over the house with regard to what some claim is the blatant bullying of housemate Deana Uppal.
As we saw in last night’s highlights show, the fact that many of the housemates are alienating and isolating Deana hasn’t gone unnoticed by the show’s producers, who asked Arron to put himself in her shoes and consider what it must be like to be ignored and to “have no friends in the house.”
He conceded that, with regard to Deana especially, he would try to make more of an effort to get on with her and to include her rather than shun her…
Also in the highlights show, we saw Conor being given an official warning over what he’d said about Deana following her epic fail in the Confusing Cuisine task.
The furious Irishman said of her, “Get your epilator and stick it up your arse.
“Stick your hairbrush up yer f***ing m***e, stupid basta*d. F***ing piece of s**t.”
BB called Conor to the Diary Room and outlined the rules regarding unacceptable behaviour, which he agreed his outburst had been, and he added that he didn’t mean what he’d said and was simply angry.
However, we also saw Caroline and Becky playing a “prank” on Deana by yet again hiding her epilator. Evidently, it’s an item that’s important to Deana, and though Caroline claimed that hiding it wasn’t “a personal attack” – which she believed putting it among tins of corned beef would be, presumably because Deana doesn’t like corned beef – but thought it would be “hilarious” to hide it in the fruit bowl.
Now of course, the issue there is that in the microcosm world that is the BB house – where all things shrink from a global affair to the immediate surrounds and the people within it – small gestures, positive or negative, become disproportionately significant…
For me, I personally consider that type of behaviour – the ‘Heathers’ bitchy girl gang antics – more likely to be filed under the title of Bullying than Conor’s angry words.
Yes of course, he was wholly wrong to say what he did, and it was a ludicrously OTT reaction to Deana’s – albeit ridiculous – gagging on ham and hot sauce during the eating task, but he didn’t make threats directly to Deana, and has simply avoided her.
Again, while I think it must be extraordinarily hard and stressful to be such an outcast in such an environment as the BB house, I still consider that behaviour like that of Caroline and Becky in hiding things that matter to Deana is a more direct but subtle form of bullying, because it’s psychological…
It’s girls ganging up on another girl to laugh at their expense, and in my experience, that’s far more damaging to a person than someone venting and ranting to others while not doing anything negative or violent directly towards the person in question.
I must stress I’m not condoning what Conor said, it was clearly very stupid and very wrong, but it was evident, even as he was saying it, that it was only venting. Likewise with Arron when, during the Confusing Cuisine task, he told a gagging Deana, “It’s time for your Oscar, the cameras are rolling!”
Again, of course it’s not nice to say things like that, but I have to say, I could see his point. After all, she only had to eat tinned ham and hot sauce, which was a total nothingness compared to eating a 100 year old fermented egg or dog food pie.
Caroline on the other hand repeatedly said Deana’s reaction was “stupid” which coming from a girl who went into hysterics over consuming a fish eye was a bit rich.
So, in a nutshell, my opinion of what’s going on in the house right now is that Deana is being bullied, but not by Conor or Arron. I think the more harmful issue is what the girls are doing to her.
Again, I don’t condone Conor or Arron’s behaviour towards Deana, but I do think that their reaction would have been exactly the same if it was anyone else who’d failed so spectacularly in the task, so in that regard, I don’t think their reactions were actually a personal attack on Deana at all…
I think they’d have reacted in exactly the same way if any one of the housemates had gagged and thrown up when what they were asked to eat was perhaps not nice, but not ordinarily considered inedible.
But I’d like to know your opinion; is Deana being bullied? And if so, please let us know who you think are the people who are bullying her, and what they’ve done that smacked of the B word?
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I agree with most of the things you have said, but I think that Conner’s comments were disgusting, and vile, how,would he like it if a man was speaking about his sister or his mother in that fashion, then, as if that was not enough, the girls started to hide her things again, knowing full well it would upset her, at that point I switched off from BB. It is, in my opinion blatant bullying, it made me wanted to cry, it was disgusting. I was very glad when BB spoke to Connor, I have a lot of respect for BB for doing that.
They ganged up on Shilpa Shetty in the same way, which was also disgusting, but I thought with BB being taken over by Channel 5 that rules would be pu in place to make sure this kind of conduct is barred. If watching someone being treated in such deplorable manner, is entertainment, then that I can do without and will do without, unless BB put a rule in place to outlaw bullying, we have enough of that going on in the outside world, we do not need to watch it on TV as well.
To the person who wrote this article
you are somehow trying to show that connor is a good guy under all of this, he was malicious and a nasty piece of work, he had no reason whatsoever to vent, it was between caroline and deana, nobody still knows what his problem with deana is, its pathetic and so what if she didnt pass the task, might I remind you that ashliegh, connor, caroline and shivonne broke the rules and the whole house got punished for it, WHY DIDNT ANYONE SPEAK UP THEN OR SLAG THEM OFF. When deana does something, everyone is ready to criticize her and yes she is being bullied and the main culprits are connor and aaron, the others are going along with it, DEANA FTW
Yes Conner and Aaron are the main culprits. Someone said the comments were not made in Deana’s presense, it’s not the issue, the other housemates were with him and as far as I am concerned they are all followeres, no one had the guts to tell Conner that he was going too far,so they align themselves with him and made a fool out of her. He is a grown man, and should know better, do they all loses all sense of decency once they get on TV ? when did it becomes fashionable to BULLY the weak?
When my husband and I watched Conor’s rant, he was so angry he actually walked out of the room. I was genuinely really upset, that is not what I want to see on the TV and definitely not what I want to see in real life.
I’m so angry at Big Brother for taking no obvious action, effectively condoning not only his behaviour but the bullying as well, that I have now complained to Ofcom and the Big Brother sponsors.
Ensena and anon, thank you for your comments. Ensena, I totally agree that we see plenty of unpleasantness in the real world, but of course, it’s still real world in there too, it’s just condensed to Petri dish size, but I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to show such behaviour because, as I mentioned, it is still real world, just reduced to minute proportions.
But yes I agree, it’s not comfortable to watch.
Anon, I’m not trying to make Conor seem like a good guy at all, but I do genuinely think his remarks – though appalling – were venting, and they weren’t in Deana’s presence.
I guess an analogy might be if I or you said, “O I could kill such and such for doing that…” we wouldn’t literally intend to kill anyone.
Thanks again both for your comments and for visiting us.
Yes Sarah we live in the real world … a world in which we have to tolerate unpleasent incidents …. there is no way Connor should have been allowed to say the things he did with out any punishment .. for example BB could have taken each housemate into the diary roonm and told that if they talk to Connor they would be loosing shopping money.
This would have isolated Mr Connor who would then know what it feels like to be ignored and bullied without any reason.
deana is not being bullied she or lydia deserve to leave because they are two-faced and they are just out to provoke arguments,
even if you are angry surely you shouldnt be saying what he said!its disgusting he should have vented his anger in a different way!surely if your mother or sister were spoken to in that way you would be seeing it in a different way!anger or no anger he should not have said what he said.
well said sonia,he said it damage done he knew wat he was saying no remorsee
Yes Sarah we live in the real world … a world in which we have to tolerate unpleasent incidents …. there is no way Connor should have been allowed to say the things he did with out any punishment .. for example BB could have taken each housemate into the diary roonm and told that if they talk to Connor they would be loosing shopping money.
This would have isolated Mr Connor who would then know what it feels like to be ignored and bullied without any reason.
Johnny, I understand what you’re saying, but if BB were to do that, then they would be seen to condone isolating a housemate themselves surely?
An eye for an eye, though tempting when punishing cruel behaviour, is often counter productive for that very reason; that it makes the person doling out the punishment as guilty as the original wrongdoer by reflecting their behaviour back at them.
I have watched BB for a long time was horrified at Connors comments hes a disgrace abd BB should have punished him not just slapped his hand with your a naughty boy off u go.. is bullying and we see and hear so much of that now is in the news most days BB need get a grip of the situation before it gets worse
and the Margaret Thatcher look alike wants to think bk to whats shes been like with crying moaning all the time ..will shh now am so angry about all this maybe just shouldnt watch the silly programme
I think it’s especially vile coming from Becky, who firstly used Deana to win her immunity task and then Becky was like: It wasn’t fake, I really do like you Deana.
And now she’s bullying her 2 weeks after…
It’s sweet of Arron to say that he will try to get her more involved and get on with her
Lol at Margaret Thatcher lookalike Beth
But you’re quite right of course; there are many double standards in the house, and I understand your anger…
But for me, I’m such an addict, turning off isn’t an option and hopefully you won’t either, even though it’s riling you, because I doubt this saga is over, and given the fury of viewers, I suspect BB may well come down much harder on such behaviour soon.
Cheers for your comment – now think ‘calm blue ocean’
I agree Rosie – Becky was being entirely fake since she’s now turned on Deana!
I thought Deana was in earshot, but the fact that she wasn’t doesn’t really change the matter. Threatening or yelling to other people that you’d like to insert a foreign object into another person’s private parts is well beyond the line of acceptable behavior (or any sort of behavior that could be termed “venting”). The full quote was “I’ll give her a fun game, I’ll stick this up her “f***ing m***e. I’ll give her a f***ing epilator (thrusts hairbrush towards his crotch).” This isn’t just telling someone to “stick it”, this is a threat. It is vile and intimidating. People have been thrown out of the house for far less. And, I think you can’t in any way put hiding someone’s epilator in the same league.
Liam, I agree – it was a vile thing to say, but no, Deana wasn’t there to hear it. And while that of course doesn’t make it ‘better’ as such in terms of what he said, can you really put hand on heart and say you’ve never ranted about someone in terms that you would never say directly to them?
Sarah — “Can you really put hand on heart and say you’ve never ranted about someone in terms that you would never say directly to them?”
Of course not, and I’ve said many things in the heat of the moment that I regret — I’m pretty sure nothing that vile, and certainly something suggesting the sexual assault of a woman with a foreign object.
I was also deeply bothered that, after being presented with the situation, Conor felt no need to apologize to either BB or Deana. I read his hang-dog look afterwards to be related to his getting called on his actions, not necessarily contrition as to what he said. YMMV.
Certainly, we can agree to disagree. I wonder — do you think BB’s little chat with Conor was a sufficient response? At a minimum, I’d have liked to see something similar to that done with nominations rule breaches — sit the housemates down, read them back the transcript, and tell them why it violates the rules (and decency). I don’t think a house punishment would be in order, and I’d be ok (but not pleased) with no additional action against Conor.
Sorry for going on about this, but I found it awful and offensive and kept thinking about what I would think/do if someone ever said that to my sister. I’ll be quiet now.
some people get angry and say things they dont mean, which is what happened with connor, i doubt he would have done anything he just wanted to say few things and get it off his chest!! i know deana, i was bullied by her so i have no sympathy for her in this situation because she has done alot worse than whats happening to her. (YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW)!!! maybe after this she will be nicer to others on the outside when camera’s are not rolling
Hmm… Bitter jealousy on your part perhaps?!! Regardless of however you claim she has treated you, do you actually think she deserves to the threatened with sexual violence and physical violence by a man?!! As a woman do you actually think that is right?! If you do condone that, then Deana obviously doesnt like you for a reason & is a an excellent judge of character.
As a woman i totally agree with you!no matter what shes done in the past no individual deserves to be spoken to in such a disgusting manner regardless that its deana it could have been anyone!its just plain wrong!
he was angry, he did not really mean it and if it happened to a man there would not be half the uproar.
There is absolutely no excuse for the disgusting vile threats of physical and sexual violence towards Deana- ABSOLUTELY NONE. Watching this last night made for uncomfortable and disturbing viewing, and my thoughts go to her parents who would be watching this and be heartbroken over how theur daughter is being talked about.
Connor, Arron, Caroline and Becky are bullies in their own ways- Connor with physical threats, Arron by picking on her constantly, and Caroline/Becky bullying her by singling her out to hide Deanas personal property which they know is going to cause her even more stress than the poor girl is already in.
Deana is too lovely for the numbskulls in there- they are disgusting, and their parents should be embarrassed of their behaviour. How can Channel 5 condone such inappropriate behaviour.
She FEELS bullied, therefore she is BEING bullied. Simple as that really! If someone feels bullied then they are, and it’s not surprising she feels that way!
She is the target of relentless mean comments and remarks, many people act like they don’t like her to her face, they play tricks on her that would be funny if in jest, but they do it maliciously and she knows this, and she also knows about the bitching behind her back, so that too is hurtful, not harmless.
All this, and she hasn’t actually done anything to anyone! Okay she is a bit boring, or pathetic in some tasks, but these things certainly don’t warrant this behaviour from the others! People don’t have to like her, but if they were nice people they would be polite and just get on with it without being mean
The comments made by Connor shows that his true colours have come to surface, even though he was ‘apparently’ venting surely that was bang out of order! As a woman myself to hear such comments like that from another individual made me feel sick it was disgusting. Me and my friends who were watching BB at the time were deeply offended! How would Connor like it if his, sister or mother were spoken to in such a manner? Surely Deana’s family are watching and must find it quite upsetting! All I can say to BB is pull your sock out and do something about it! It’s disgraceful that Connor just got a talking to and I will be making an official complaint to BB!
As for Caroline she really needs to grow up she seems to get off on other people getting picked on and for me she really has a nasty streak! Not a nice person at all!
I agree with the comments that were made earlier it seems if Deana does something it’s automatically criticised on a huger scale. Where as other house mates not so much if it all.
I totally agree with you Sonia, All I can say about Conner, Aaron and Margret Thatcher whoops mean Caroline really need to get a life and stop getting their kicks out of being bullies! What Connor said was disgraceful!!!!!!!I have made an official complaint already!
DEANA UPPAL IS MY NIECE … THANK YOU ALL FOR HIGHLIGHTING AND EXPORESSING YOUR THOUGHTS.
I HAD TO SIT HERE LAST NIGHT AND WATCH CONNOR SAY THINGS ABOUT DEANA AND TURN THE OTHER CHEEK
YES IT HURT ME BADLY … I WONDER IF PEOPLE KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR DEANA AS WELL AS THE OTHER “UNSEEN” FAMILY MEMBERS WATCHING.
DEANA GRANDMOTHER IS 83 YEARS OF AGE AND DOES NOT SPREAK ENGLISH. DEANA IS TRHE UPPAL ..SORRY APPLE OF HER EYE….
I SIMPLY COULD NOT TRANSLATE TO HER WHAT CONNOR WAS SAYING TO DEANA WHEN SHE WAS ASKING ME AT HOME.
WOULD CONNOR LIKE IT IS SUCH CHILDISH FILTH WAS SAID TO HIM.,
BUT DEANA IS NO CHICKEN – SHE HAS A BLACK BELT .. SHE IS 23 AND ON HER OWN HAS MOVED TO MUMBAI MODELLING AND MIXING WITH A LIST PEOPLE IN INDIA …. SHE ALREADY IS IN THE CELEB CIRCLES WHICH LYDIA AND CONNOR ASPIRE TO GET INTO.
HAS SHE DONE WHAT LYDIA IS DOING ABOUT HER CELEB FIENDS ? NO
I AM JUST POSTING THIS AS A way to express just how degrading and huniliating it is when a so called Man can make comments which can hurt Deana.
IN SHORT .. IT IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE DEMORALISATION AND MANY WOULD EVEN CONSIDER SELF HARM
PLEASE SUPPORT MY NIECE .. MY PE THANKS AND GRATITUDE TO EVRY ONE … NOW LET US GET CONNOR IN THE SAME PLACE.
BENEDICT WAS EVICTED IN PART ..TAKING ABOUT MASTERBATION….. LYDIA WAS DISGUSTED OVER THE WORD PERIOD BEING MENTIONED
AND CONNOR AND HIS SIDE KICKS STAY AFTER A “I LOST MY TEMPER” SO I SAID THINGS TO DEANA …WHICH HE WOULD NOT LIKE IF IT WAS HIS SISTER OR MOTHER….
I have never witnessed such disgusting behaviour in my life. Conor should have been removed from the house for what he said.
I honestly don’t understand how the author can believe Arron and Conor aren’t bullying Deana. They make cruel and snide comments all the time behind her back and to her face. Just stop defending them. You can’t.
As for Becky – she’s fake, manipulative and a blatant actor. Every time she goes into the diary room I feel like I’m watching a pantomime (and not a good one).
Then Caroline – I used to like her, but with every day she shows a new side even more vile than the last.
I just want to say that what I saw last night was disgusting what Connor said about Deana and also how the others in the house are behaving like pack animals and bullying Deana. I watched last night and was appalled at what I saw. I felt as thought Deana was being singled out by the group, I was so upset by what was happening I contacted OFTEL to make a complaint.
I have changed my opioion of connor since last night’s show. I am disgusted by his beahviour and threatening comments towards deana. Because she’s Indian does’nt give him the right to be mean. She is being bullied and it’s not fair. I hate seeing her cry and being upset. The same thing happened with shilpa shetty years ago. Imagine if it was your sister or mum or cousin and he said them comments to them. How would you feel. I am so annoyed and hurt. She’s a beautiful girl with an amazing heart. So what she’s quite and keeps herself to herself and she’s don’t talk. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. But I hope big brother warms them and does something about this. And also hiding her things is not fair at all. There all singling her out and just bullying her. As for lydia two faced cow being her friend then saying she don’t like her. She needs to go. Connor what has deana done to you that is so wrong answer that question. Nothing so leave her alone. It’s not just connor. Aaron and other housemates are mean to her as well. It’s not fair and it upsets me watching this happen. Deana stay strong babe chin up and smile. I like you your a lovely girl. With an amazing heart., I’m behind you big time. I’m voting to save you on friday. Don’t let them put you down babe and let them upset you. Your better than them and they don’t like it. Do it for us indians and your family and friends. I will be complaing to channel 5 about this. Get Lydia out!!! xxx
I feel that Big Brother should evict Luke S, Arron and Conor to show teenagers/children whom watch this programme that bullying is not acceptable in the real world. Like for example a teacher telling a bullied gay student to act less gay…its just immoral
I CANNOT BELIEVE CONNOR SAID THOSE THINGS IT WAS SHOCKING AND DISCUSTING. AS’NT HE GOT FEMALE MEMBERS IN HIS FAMILY? EVERYONE I KNOW THAT WATCHES BB WAS IN SHOCK. HE SHOULD BE MADE TO LEAVE I DONT WANT TO BE WATCHING SOMEONE LIKE HIM.AARON AND CONNOR THINKS THEY ARE THE BEES KNEES KNOW WOMEN SHOULD GO NEAR THEM YOU WOULD’NT THINK THEY COME FROM A WOMEN BODY THEY ARE VILE. BECKY AND CAROLINE ARE JUST JELOUS OF DEANA. THATS WOMEN FOR YOU CANT ACCEPT OTHER WOMEN
I think it is important that there is a follow up. My suggestion would be to add Connors name up for nomination this week. Let him go head to head with Deana and Lydia.
That way the public can vote. Even if he gets to stay in it would send him a clear message.
On BBBOTS Emma said the matter has been settled because Connor was called to the diary room twice,and Deana was also called to the diary room for a chat and was ‘alright with it’ although she hasnt been told what he said..How does that work? How can she be considered ‘alright’ about the conduct of housemates when she hasnt been informed of what was said? The programme makers will not want her to be voted out this week- she will find out what kind of sexually abusive and threatening comments were being smoothed over when she was asked if she was ‘alright’. I am gutted because I have always been a BB fan but lately I have not found it enjoyable.
VERY TRUE !
Connor should be removed immediately it was disgusting and absolutely vile what he said and his face when he said it was,,,well I think he knew exactly what he wanted to do when he said it,get him out and get a background check done on him what a horrible man yes man as that is what he is,
and the group who were blatantly using code to discuss who they were nominating, while the nominations were in progress, should be deprived of their nominations. What is going on here? It was so blatant!
Bullying is vile in any form but when it is allowed to happen to amuse the public it seems far worse. Conor is a foul mouth ignoramus who should not be allowed to remain in the house
I am still seething over Conner’s comments, you have people that are supposed to be intelligent condoning his comments on here, and making excuses for him, I do not understand that, I understand there will be conflicts when you put a group of people from different walks of life in one house, but BB must remember that there are also people from different walks of life that watches these programmes as well, and all you need is one disturbed viewer to listen to that and think they can snatch a woman from off the street and use a foreign object on her because of being a Conner fan and he said so. I am sorry BB there is no excuse or reason to allow Conner to get away with that. He should have been removed from the House.
Very well explained….. johnny uppal (Deanas Uncle)
Are you all stupid? Deana is vile! Just because she’s Asian when someone argues you think they are being racist! Just stop playing the race card, she is a horrible girl, black, white, whatever, she is vile!
Deana id far from vile, she is a lovely intelligent girl and that is part of her problem. The other are females left in the house are thick. Sars should shut up she is too stupid to back up her opinions and Deane is too smart to let her away with vagueness.
I don’t understand why they are being horrid to deana, she a lovely genuine girl. I have worked with her many times. Very honest as even on the show she is bein real.she thought she was eating beef and gagged, so what. How does she deserve the nasty reaction. Lydia is two faced, she says she hates her and then is talkin to her. Deana needs to stay so she can come out a but more of her shell. She is totally out of her comfort zone.
It is definately not fair,that these bullies are still at bb house. Deana IS SUFFERING from bullies.. She seems so nice girl – not like others there. Lydia is constantly talking about her being bullied,but my opinion is that she derserve it,because everybody knows that she is two-faced and is talking behind back. She can’t stand Deana,but she’s still talking with her and pretending to be friends..
Some of the housmates are very nasty…
Connor and Arron are just plain bullies
Id love to see them face to face and see if they are man enough to do it in front of me…however due to connor’s reaction i think he knows he is in trouble
patrick you chat lots of shit, Deana has been genuine throughout and shes getting bullied and her mum says that shes been a victim of racism before so its very hard for her. its always the asains that get the bullying, shilpa shetty had one of the worst bullying to date, so i would classify conor as a racist
Tables have turned and now Deena seems to be the bully towards Luke. Shame on her! And why does everyone always pull out the race card? People can actually be disliked for who they are and not for the colour of their skin! Grow up!