Tim Vine (born 1967 in Cheam, Surrey) is an English stand-up comedian. His stand-up act consists primarily of a series of quick-fire one-liners and puns. On 7 October 2004 Vine broke the Guinness World Record for the most jokes told in an hour with 499, beating the previous record of 362. Each joke told by Vine had to get a laugh from the paying audience to count towards the record. He held the record until May 2005. Vine has taken his comedy act on a tour of the United Kingdom, most recently in his February 2006 tour entitled “Current Puns”.

On television, Vine co-launched Channel 5 with Julia Bradbury on 30 March 1997 and presented the game show Whittle on the channel. Vine has also presented the game show Fluke on Channel 4 and later Fort Boyard Takes on the World on Challenge. Vine was also one of the regular team of comedians to write for and appear in the ITV comedy series The Sketch Show, and Vine is currently playing the role of namesake Tim in the BBC One situation comedy Not Going Out.

It was announced on 26th February 2007 that Tim would appear as a contestant on Fame Academy for Comic Relief on the BBC.

Jokes

Many of Vine’s jokes have been falsely attributed to Tommy Cooper[1]; the West End show about Tommy Cooper actually features some of Vine’s jokes.
Vine in the role of Tim in Not Going Out.

* So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me “Can you give me a lift?” I said, “Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.”
* So I rang up a local building firm and said, “I want a skip outside my house.” He said, “I’m not stopping you.”
* Now, most dentist’s chairs go up and down, don’t they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought, “This is unusual”. Then the dentist said to me, “Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet”.
* I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him fifty quid that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, “no, the steaks are too high”.
* I was reading this book, ‘The History of Glue’. I couldn’t put it down.
* I got a job as the Duke of Edinburgh’s hairdresser. The other day I parked outside Buckingham Palace and a policeman came up to me and said “have you got a permit?” And I said, “no, I’ve just got to take a bit off the back”.
* The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn’t know what to make of it.

Trivia

* Tim’s brother is Jeremy Vine, the British television journalist and presenter on BBC Radio 2.
* Both Tim and Jeremy Vine were educated at Epsom College in Surrey.
* Vine is a Christian and occasionally plays the drums at his church.
* Vine also has a passion for song writing, including both serious and comedy songs. He is a talented guitarist and pianist.

Courtesy Of Wikipedia