After a break of nearly 20 years, Australia’s self styled First Lady, housewife and megastar returns to British TV screens with a brand new series. The Dame Edna Treatment starts on ITV1 at 9.40pm on Saturday 17 March.

The first show features interviews with Mischa Barton, Alien star Sigourney Weaver and heart throb Michael Bolton. It also features cameos from Patrick Stewart, Gillian McKeith, Nancy Del’Olio, Mr Bean and Shilpa Shetty.

Set in a health spa, the Dame entertains her guests as only she knows how. Nancy Del’Olio visits the spa for a colonic irrigation. She retires to ‘The Niagara Suite’ but things turn nasty when Mr Bean gets involved, mistakenly plugging the end of the tube into a vacuum cleaner. The cleaner overheats and explodes its contents into the face of Gillian McKeith who has previously been in the spa treating guests to her smoothies.

Sir Les Patterson takes the role of lifestyle guru in Spa Edna and this week talks to Shilpa Shetty. But Sir Les, reverting to type ends up chatting her up. Shilpa remains unimpressed.

The Dame warns Mischa Barton from partying too much with Paris Hilton. ‘People get sullied. Stay away from bad influences’, she warns. Later she tells Mischa how she reminds her of herself. ‘It’s like looking in a mirror’ she says. ‘That laugh says so much, and yet so little.’ She asks Mischa where she gets her style from and Mischa confesses that it is indeed the Dame who inspires her. The Dame retorts ‘If only my daughter Valmai would consult me on fashion. ‘All she needs is some doctor martins, dungarees and a KD Lang CD’ she says.

The Dame requests that Sigourney Weaver removes her valuable necklace as she thinks there have been a number of thefts in the spa and then questions her about her acting roles. ‘Actresses of a certain age find that their parts dry up. Have you had this problem?’ she enquires!

And again Dame Edna refers to her daughter Valmai, telling Sigourney that she has a picture of her in her room between Martina Navratalova and Ellen de Generes.

And she tells Sigourney that she looked ‘casual but lovely. You’ve never been a glamour puss. That’s a compliment. You’ve never been a hostage to your looks.’

And finally Dame Edna welcomes Michael Bolton. ‘He had hits in the 80s and 90s and this year he’s had nine hits . . on his website’ she jokes. She tells him that she’s deliberately not listened to his album in case she didn’t like it. She talks to him about cutting his hair off and also about his engagement to actress Nicolette Sheridan. The Dame says she keeps calling her Nicorette and asks if she will take Michael’s surname when they’re married. ‘Bolton – the word conjures up drunken women and deep fried battered sausage’ she jokes.

The Dame Edna Treatment, 9.40pm, Saturday 17 March, ITV1.