Just when things were beginning to look up for Kerry Katona, her slimeball of a husband, Mark Croft, has reportedly been telling friends he wants a divorce because (and we quote) “she’s turned into a lardarse” and he ain’t going to bed with that.

The former cabbie is apparently launching legal proceedings to end their two-year marriage, according to The News of The World, after Katona kicked him to the curb for the third time this year.

And their fall out is said to be over a text message that proves that Croft had cavorted with strippers during their recent trip to Majorca.

Croft has since retaliated by consulting his lawyers and serving Kerry with a legal letter which claims that he “cannot reasonably be expected to live with her”.

A friend of a friend of a friend told another friend, who then told The News Of The World (in which we have filled in the stars for you):

Mark is furious that Kerry has been claiming he likes her better fat. He says that’s bollocks. He’s been finding himself far less attracted to her. Kerry is an absolute wreck. She cannot believe what he has done and is spending almost all her time in tears. She is terrified of ending up a mum-of-four alone.

During their trip away in Spain, a mole there informed us that they had spotted someone who could have very easily been Croft, wolf whistling at other women while Kerry (though completely spangled) was very polite and chatting to people in a bar.

Another source added:

The holiday was meant to be a way of the two of them falling in love again. But Mark soon found some ex-pats he could drink with all night, and he started to leave Kerry to go home on her own. After the holiday Mark’s friend sent him a text telling him his girlfriend had found out. Kerry discovered the text and went ballistic.

More celebrity gossip at HolyMoly.com