Former The Only Way Is Essex and Dancing On Ice star, Lauren Goodger has revealed how internet trolls, and media outlets constantly bullying her about her weight knocked her confidence so much she began to believe she actually was fat!
Lauren, who quit the hit ITV2 reality show, The Only Way Is Essex last year to take part in the popular ITV skating talent show, Dancing On Ice where she was disappointingly voted out in week one, is set to release her first book, Secrets Of An Essex Girl, on Valentine’s Day, which she described to us, in an exclusive interview, as a Girls Guide to life, sharing her own experiences in it to help others.
Speaking exclusively to us earlier this month, she commented:
“My book is out on Valentine’s day. It was hard work to write because I was training at the same time and travelling quite a lot with Laurens Way (Laurens own brand tanning product company), I was kind of here, there and everywhere. It was really difficult putting it together, I kind of ended up writing it back to front, it was just really full on. But now it is done, and round the right way I am actually quite looking forward to reading it myself.
“It’s not an autobiography; I am only young, though I would really like to do that one day. This is more about me, my family and friends coming into fame, my business, my image, my last relationship, style, celebrity friends – it’s kind of a girl’s guide to everything.”
Extracts from Secrets Of An Essex Girl are being published all this week in the Daily Mirror newspaper in the lead up to its Thursday release, and in today’s edition Lauren, who was engaged to her former TOWIE co-star, Mark Wright who she dated on and off for nine years, revealed her feelings at becoming a target for bullies and internet trolls over her weight:
“It’s like the world is watching my every move – including everything I eat – and that has knocked my confidence,
“The body fascists love to have a go at me at every available opportunity, which is hard. I’m not a naturally skinny person and it feels like the older I’m getting, the bigger I’m getting, or maybe that’s the pressure.”
“I have been bullied before. It’s bloody horrible when people start on you. And here I am at 26 still being bullied. The trick is not to let them bother you. But that’s hard, especially when they call me names like beached whale.
“People can be so abusive when they are hiding behind a computer and I don’t think they realise the hurt they cause, or maybe they do and that’s what they get their kicks from. It’s just plain nasty.
“I remember one comment posted about an unflattering outfit I was wearing. It read, ‘vile fat pouty trouty pig… just stay in love u stink of desperation’. This person doesn’t even know me – it’s just some horrid internet troll. However strong I am, that sort of comment gets to me.”
Lauren goes on to reveal how, after relentless torment lasting years, she began to believe the hurtful things people were saying about her, and even started avoiding mirrors!
“I knew I wasn’t fat, but everything felt tight. I started to avoid mirrors, and if I did catch a glimpse, I’d see a girl who needed to lose weight.
“Often when I see nasty photos of myself, I’m like, ‘How can I think I look good and then a picture of me like that is taken?’ and suddenly I hate myself.”
The reality star, who has finally found happiness with new boyfriend, Jake, went on to add how the pressures of Towie, and the cruel way they let her relationship with Mark Wright play out on screen, added to her misery:
“I felt so humiliated to know the whole country had seen my boyfriend mess about with other girls. I worried there might have been other girls I didn’t know about.”
There was one she found out about, however, when the producers of the show made her walk in on Mark kissing her friend, and co-star, Sam Faiers, aired out to millions of viewers to see.
She says: “One of the producers told me I had to run through this bush. I was wondering what was waiting there. I never in a million years thought it would be Mark kissing Sam. I could see them together and I stormed off. I ripped off my mic and wanted to go home. I was crying and screaming. I couldn’t believe they made me watch that, knowing how devastated I’d be after having broken up with Mark so recently.”
To pre order your copy of Lauren Goodger’s first Book, Secrets Of An Essex Girl, click here!
Watch Lauren’s Dancing On Ice performance in the clip below:
Read our full exclusive interview with Lauren here.