So last night saw the series finale of The Only Way Is Essex (we have actually lost count as to which series it was) and what a fest of emotional drama it was.
First of all we saw Gemma Collins gushing to Sam and Billie Faiers about her night of unbridled passion with James ‘Arg’ Argent at the murder mystery night. If you missed it we were treated to a description of Arg’s dominance and sweaty posterior as he made love to the bubbly blonde.
Meanwhile Arg was having a spray tan in preparation for a date with a girl he has been wooing over social networking site Twitter. The girl in question liked all the same things as Arg and was easy to talk to (despite never having actually spoken to her on the phone) which, he insisted, was more important than her slim and attractive profile picture.
However, his face literally hit the floor when she turned up for their date, not just not looking like her picture, but looking so much like Gemma Collins it actually was her! It was one of the best CatFish moments ever!
Gemma blasted him for his shallowness whilst declaring he would never ever get what he was looking for, and that he would never ever have her again (which we have all heard a million times before – in fact she even said it at the murder mystery night)!
Relaying the info to his friends Arg couldn’t understand why Gemma was so upset and why she pulled the stunt. They all looked a bit confused until Tom Pearce (the only one with an education beyond GCSE level) pointed out that he had really liked who he had been talking to, and liked all the same things and said that was all that mattered, until he saw it was Gemma who he had all the same with but had disregarded because of her weight.
Elsewhere and the rest of the gang came together to celebrate Carol and Big Mark Wright’s wedding vow renewal but, whilst the happy couple gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes, the future of three other relationships hung in the balance!
Mario Falcone and Joey Essex came over to Sam and Lucy Mecklenburgh to speak to each of their respective ex’s. Joey and Sam discussed her recent behaviour with Joey admitting that not only was he glad that she was moving on because he could now too, but also that he was a happier person being apart from her. Ouch!
Mario and Lucy discussed his behaviour and how sorry he was but Lucy, for once, showed her inner strength when she told him it was good they had cleared the air as they were bound to run into each other in situations like the wedding and walked away.
Finally Ricky Rayment and Jess Wright sat on separate tables both making the rest of their party make it look like they were having a better time than the other whilst slagging each other off. In the end Ricky issued Jess with an ultimatum, “take me back now or I walk away”. After some considerable thought Jess decided that she would give it another go and they kissed it out – ahhh!
So, that is it for The Only Way Is Essex until later this year when all the above is bound to have been changed around and turned on its head, but if we hear anything in the meantime we will let you know!