Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Friday 4th December


Friday panel – soccer legend Gary Lineker with soccer legends Alan Shearer (I am the music man) John Motson (Talks a good game) and Mark Lawrenson (loves dressing up) on the sofa. Training’s going … hang on, this isn’t ITT! How very dare they! Consider yourselves emailed, Auntie! I’ve just checked teletext and there’s definite encroaching on territory. I mean, how many more times can you go on repeating yourselves – where do you think you are, an SCD forum? But that’s Lineker all over, bloody poacher. Oh, now we’re going for the permetations on every possible outcome. Again I say, where do you think you are? Where’s Claudia? There she … *Phew* for a moment there, I thought she was wearing a neck brace.

Kristina’s Strictly Dance Life – won first contest aged 8, invited to America aged 21, won various comps, danced for the Japanese Royal Family, teamed up with Brian, reminisced about John and Joe. Said “Would love to win, but, Strictly isn’t about the winning it’s about the journey you make together.” Ish.

Claudia’s hot. (Well, she is wearing an ocelot). Double trouble in training: they’re finding it tough, like spinning plates while their brains are frying.

Friday panel: Matt Cutler (SCD Champ 2007 and all round cutie pie) says they’re always worried at the two dance stage; John Barrowman (Dance captain) Loves Ricky, wants to enjoy seeing someone dance although not looking at his feet much! Craig (Revels in Sequins) likes the break between main and results show, gets everyone nice and nervous! And time for a pee.

Ricalie cha cha – love the superman pants, Craig doesn’t! But hip action very good, control, music sounds good cha cha material, no idea what it is though. Needs to lift shoulders and soften a bit. Alian samba, natural rhythm, beautiful arms, finishes make the dance look crisp and clean, very bouncy – needs a little more rawness, says Matt. You want rawness Matty boy, just come on over. Ahem. A Daniel Merryweather song? Nope, still don’t know it, but thinking he’s not heavy on the Brazilian influences? Leotard dress, beaded fringing, sweetheart neckline, massive orange tail feather, will no doubt tickle Brian’s fancy. Chrola samba – odd and individual, needs bounce, requires lot more technique, fantastic song though – Cuba – will get the crowd going – calm the face, move the body! Lainton salsa, it’s the party dance, she’s got to get into it, hip action non existent – proper music but John thinks it’s a bit predictable, maybe not enough highlights, didn’t hear enough.

Out of time? OUT OF TIME! If only we were Manchester bloody United we’d have probably got some more! I’ve forgotten my artichoke, says Claudia. It’ll all make sense when you watch the credits. LOL at Chrola: I forgot where I counted to, says Chris. Me too, says Ola, just keep going …


Lisa McGarry

Lisa has been watching reality TV for too long now. She won't do any housework unless 'Big Brother' announces it over the tannoy and everything she does has to be put to a public vote!