So I’m watching Strictly Come Dancing tonight and as if Bruce’s jokes aren’t bad enough, Tess Daly’s wonky eye and unbalanced boobs freaked me out big time. It doesn’t help that she can’t actually present live TV shows, with any semblance of flair.

Tess obviously came from the Kate Thornton school of TV presenting and believes that all lines must appear scripted and any sign of human warmth or spontaneity must be avoided at all costs.

On the other hand Claudia Winkleman, who presents the show’s spinoff ‘It Takes Two’, is quirky, genuinely funny and both her eyes look the same. Can I suggest her as a replacement for Mrs Vernon Kaye on next year’s series?