Alan Carr mimics Jodie Marsh’s famous bodybuilder pose for heat magazine’s annual Stars Dress Up Special.

Alan, who last year transformed himself into pop diva Lady GaGa for the same feature, said: “I look like a human skid-mark! Jodie looks amazing, so feminine. I can’t be arsed to put in the effort to be honest.”

He added: “I was GaGa had a bod like this. Then I could combine the two and create my all-time favourite heat makeover!”

heat magazine’s special Christmas double issue is on sale now and features Spencer from MIC as David Beckham, Shona McGarty as Tulisa and Sacha Parkinson, Brooke Vincent as Britney and Rihanna, Joey Essex as Frankie Cocozza and Arg & Lydia as William and Kate.

View the original post Alan Carr wears Jodie Marsh’s famous gold bodybuilder bikini (PICTURES!) on Unreality TV

Alan Carr had a ball at last night’s dinner before the 2011 GQ Awards.

The Channel 4 funnyman had a bit of fun at the expense of X Factor boyband One Direction and teased the teen sensations that they were too young to be at the event.

When he saw the band – who he recently interviewed for an episode of his show ‘Chatty Man’ – Carr approached their table and laughed:

“Evening boys. Is there a kids’ table for you tonight?

“Have they got the high chairs in for you? What’s this? Buy one suit get four free? What’s on the kids’ menu? Fish fingers and chips?”

But band joker Louis Tomlinson gave as good as he got. Hitting back at the comedian, he quipped:

“What’s that shirt? Are you working as a nurse during the day? You look like you’ve escaped from a mental institution.”

Fans of One Direction can see the boys performing their new single ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ on Saturday’s final of ITV’s Red Or Black.

They will also make a live appearance on an upcoming X Factor live show later in the autumn.

View the original post Alan Carr teased X Factor’s One Direction at 2011 GQ Awards on Unreality TV

One Direction appeared on Alan Carr’s Chatty Man show tonight and it was a very revealing interview.

In their frank chat with the bespectacled funny man, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, Nial Horan, Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson spoke about the time Harry stripped naked on a public flight to America, Zayn’s relationship with Belle Amie singer Geneva Lane, Steve Brookstein’s online feud with Louis’ mum and a dance off between Alan and Malik.

Watch the videos below and we’ll try to upload a better quality clip, if one becomes available.

In the meantime, do you think Zayn’s dancing has improved any? He admits that he’s been taking dance lessons and we want to know, do you think it was money well spent?

View the original post One Direction address Harry Styles’ naked tendencies and Zayn Malik’s Belle Amie love on Alan Carr (VIDEO) on Unreality TV

Alan Carr is reportedly set to make a set of jokes about philandering football star Ashley Cole on tonight’s episode of Alan Carr Chatty Man.

The comedian will mock the Chelsea ace, who is said to have slept with Colette McBarron, air hostess Kerry Meades and model Jessyca Rayanne in June when he was supposedly trying to woo back his ex wife Cheryl Cole, on tonight’s episode.

Joking about his reported sleazy behaviour, Alan laughs:

“Friends suggested Ashley tries therapy, but all Ashley said was: ‘How big are Therapy’s tits and can she keep a ­secret?’ ”

He added:

“When I first read the headline ‘Ashley in ­Virgin upper-class sex shame’ my first thought was: ‘Oh my God, he’s shagged Ann ­Widdecombe!’”

“The stewardess said he chatted her up in a pub by ­patting her bum with a glow-in-the-dark lightsaber.

“Either that or his over-worked penis has gone into meltdown.”

It has been reported that when Cheryl heard the news about Ashley’s new women, she banned him from ever contacting her again. Joking about the story, Alan added:

“Cheryl is reported to have said: ‘I’m done, ­delete my number.’

“Which sounds more like what Ashley would have said moments ­after having sex with someone other than Cheryl.”

View the original post Alan Carr pokes fun at Cheryl and Ashley Cole on Chatty Man! on Unreality TV

Alan Carr has admitted that he would love to have Cheryl Cole on the new series of his Channel 4 chat show.

The TV funnyman has confessed that he ‘feels sorry’ for the former Girls Aloud singer, after she was sacked from The X Factor a few weeks ago.

He told Buzz magazine:

“I feel sorry for her about the X Factor thing, she’s just coming across as being used.”

Now Alan Carr is off the market and prefers to stay in with a nice glass of red wine. However, he has learned not to hit Twitter when he’s had a drink or two. “I’m learning not bite back at nasty comments when I’ve had a drink. I tend to say ‘Well, you’ve only got two followers, go f**k yourself’.”

View the original post X Factor 2011: Alan Carr thinks Cheryl Cole is being used on Unreality TV

Jennifer Lopez reportedly serenaded Alan Carr, when staff threw a surprise birthday party at a recent recording of his chat show ‘Alan Carr: Chatty Man.’

The American Idol judge partied with fellow guests Jonathan Ross, Gok Wan and Kelly Hoppen at the childrens’-themed event to celebrate the host’s 35th birthday.

An insider explained: “Alan jumped out of his skin when all his guests screamed ‘surprise’ at him. He was in hysterics – he couldn’t believe J-Lo was singing just for him.

“Everyone whooped and screamed as she finished. J-Lo looked a little bewildered by proceedings, but giggled along gamely nonetheless.”

After singing ‘Happy Birthday’, the guests at Monday’s (13.06.11) party dined on jelly and ice cream, cupcakes and retro sweets, as well as making their own impromptu cocktails.

The source added to the Daily Mirror newspaper: “Alan insisted everybody run back up to the studio and raid the mini-bar from the stage, which he uses to give guests a pretty disgusting or tacky drink.

“They all made the worst drinks they could and downed them as one. Even Jennifer got stuck into the cheeky vimto.”

View the original post American Idol’s Jennifer Lopez sang to Alan Carr at surprise birthday party on Unreality TV

Alan Carr has admitted that he’d like to join Britain’s Got Talent as a judge in the future.

The Chatty Man presenter thinks he would be a “perfect” addition to the panel of the ITV show and says he’d love to hear form Simon Cowell when his three year Channel 4 contract ends.

He told Bang Showbiz: “I would have loved to have been a judge. I’d be perfect. I’ve worked in call centres so I’m au fait with freaks.

“Simon Cowell keeps popping out for a cigarette on X Factor but I’d probably pop out and have a gin and tonic!”

Carr added: “I’m exclusive to Channel 4 for the year so I can’t go anywhere. I’m happy at Channel 4, but in the future, you never know.”

View the original post Britain’s Got Talent 2011: Alan Carr wants judging role on Unreality TV

Britain’s Got Talent judge Piers Morgan has lashed out at chat show host Alan Carr, after he said he’d like his job on the BGT panel.

The camp Channel 4 star made the comments after rumours started to circulate that Piers would be leaving the British talent show and moving Stateside to accept a huge American TV deal. However, Piers is adamant that ‘squeaky voiced’ Alan will not be his replacement. He wrote in The Daily Mail:

“I don’t think he has merely an irritating voice. He has quite possibly the most excruciatingly high-pitched, whiny, helium-fuelled, nasal, repugnant voice in the history of mankind – with the possible exception of the Krankies.”

Piers added: “Methinks Chatty Man is perhaps a little sore because my own Life Stories show gets three times his audience.

“If I were you Al, I wouldn’t worry about trying to nick one of my jobs. I’d focus more on keeping your own.”

View the original post Piers Morgan blasts ‘helium-fuelled, nasal, repugnant’ Alan Carr on Unreality TV

Alan Carr has found the perfect replacement for his on screen partner Justin Lee Collins, Susan Boyle.

Carr told Star magazine: “I always get on with women more than men, so maybe me and Amanda Holden or me and SuBo. Now that Richard & Judy are gone it could be Alan & Su.”

He commented: “I enjoyed Britain’s Got Talent, but it got a bit scary when Susan hitched up her skirt. She’d have to come on with someone – I don’t mean a carer – but maybe the dancing granddad. We’d clump them together and get some sense out of them.”

View the original post Alan Carr wants to work with Susan Boyle on Unreality TV

Alan Carr has claimed that Sir Alan Sugar was “horrible” and “vile” when he took part in BBC’s Comic Relief Does The Apprentice.

The Channel 4 funnyman told new! magazine: “Just how scary is he? He’s horrible. I thought because we were celebrities he’d tone it down, but he was vile and laid into me.

“I used to take the mickey out of the contestants when they cried on The Apprentice, but he had me in tears. I was gulping and had a lump in my throat!”

Carr was also disappointed in the mighty Margaret Mountford when she failed to defend him in the boardroom.

He revealed: “I thought Margaret might support me. I thought: ‘She’s a woman, she’s a bit of a fag hag – she’ll help me’. But she just rolled her eyes.”

View the original post Alan Carr HATES Alan Sugar on Unreality TV