Blog posts about ‘Charts’ »

Unreality Rates The X Factor: Movie Week Top 6 Chart

The X Factor LogoIn a shocking departure from this season’s woeful standard, we were actually entertained by X Factor tonight. And we mean by the singing, not the judges behaviour, not the tabloid nonsense exploding outside the show. Tonight, for the first time in the competition, everybody sang brilliantly. Maybe it’s because all the halfwits have been voted off (or ejected). Or maybe it’s because they’ve gone and invested in in-ear monitors for the contestants. WHICH THEY SHOULD HAVE GOT YEARS AGO!

But let’s not dwell on that, it’s time to take a look at tonight’s performances. And the contestants, due to their unexpected singing in tune, have made it more difficult than usual to grade the performances. But, readers, we struggled through and did it for you anyway! Here are our top acts of the Top 6:
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The Unreality TV Gaga v Queen Week Chart: The Top 7 Performances, Ranked!

Marcus tops tonight's X Factor chart!

There should be a slight refinement to tonight’s X Factor theme. Yes, it was Lady Gaga songs versus Queen songs. But for the most part, it was horribly slowed down versions of those songs. If you came to tonight’s X Factor hoping for uptempo excitement, then you came to the wrong place. Janet Devlin reverted to type and yodelled Somebody To Love while Misha Bryan squeezed all the fun and excitement out of Born This Way.

And of course tonight’s show was marked by the return of Amelia Lily, who gave a powerful and atmospheric performance of Queen’s The Show Must Go On, and immediately proved that she has the potential to upset this competition dramatically! Read on to find out how she placed on our weekly X Factor chart!
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Strictly Come Dancing: Week 7 Chart! Who danced it best?

Strictly Come Dancing logoWe’re not so much liveblogging Strictly Come Dancing this week as live charting the celebrity dancers! By our count, this is week 7 of the dance competition, and we’re down to 9 couples left. And those who survive this week will perform live at Wembley next week! Exciting stuff, no?

This chart is based on who we thought danced best on the night, based a little bit on how well the celebrities danced, but mostly on how enjoyable they were to watch.

  1. Harry Judd and Aliona danced an Argentine Tango this week and it’s no understatement to say that their routine was smoking hot. But then they’re two incredibly sexy dancers. Marred only a tiny bit by a clumsy lift which almost became a drop, Harry’s cemented his place as a frontrunner in this competition. Craig was effusive when he said “it was filth and I loved it”.  However, Len Goodman complained that there was no intensity, calling it clinical and neat.
  2. Alex Jones and James Jordan danced a jive to River Deep, Mountain High. We weren’t complaining about Alex in a cheerleader skirt! She did a little solo dance spot right at the start of the routine, but when James came in the pace quickened and they gave us a wonderful, lively dance together. Returning judge Len Goodman called it “full of verve and gusto”.
  3. Jason Donovan and Kristina have a Vienese Waltz this week. It’s an incredibly elegant routine from the two of them, Donovan cutting a dash in tails and Kristina in a gorgeous white dress. The pair looked exhausted at the end of it though. Alesha praises their dramatic waltz and the connection between the two of them. Bruno tells Jason that he was back in the zone this week. Not that he was ever out of the zone.
  4. Anita Dobson and Robin dance an Argentine Tango. Would it be cruel to compare Anita’s tango to Harry Judd’s?  Anita emerges showing a lot of leg. It’s actually quite an atmospheric piece of music, which lends itself well to the drama on the floor between Robin and Anita. It’s been hard to take Anita seriously in previous weeks, but this was a step up! Bruno’s commentary is inexplicable which means he’s excited, but Craig nitpicks though he’s generally pleased. Len seems happier with Anita’s tango than he was with Harry’s.
  5. Chelsee Healey and Pasha are dancing a foxtrot this week. Not sure what to think of this one. While some of the other dancers, male and female, are showing a lot of flair, Chelsee still isn’t showing a lot of solo aptitude and she looked stiff while in hold for the most part. Alesha is highly complimentary though, praising her elegance. Craig has a minor niggle, but tells her she’s starting to tick all his boxes.
  6. Holly Valance and Brendan dance to Will Young’s Leave Right Now. We were concerned that changing her professional partner would be a setback to Holly, but she didn’t seem to be phased by the change, although the routine was a little slower than last week’s amazing jive. Craig is surprisingly positive about the new partnership, but Len wants Holly to get a bit more “emotionally involved” in the dances.
  7. Robbie Savage and Ola were second up to dance tonight. Could they be the prettiest couple on the dancefloor? Robbie does a lift and spin that looks brilliant, until you look at his feet, which make it look like he’s frenziedly stamping on insects. Alesha Dixon noted that his lifts were “erratic”, but Craig Revel Horwood is shockingly positive about the routine.
  8. Russell Grant comes out this week still looking like Danny DeVito as the Penguin. There are a few recycled moves in this routine – surely he’s drummed on Flavia’s belly before? He’s possibly the first Strictly contestant to manage a costume change during a routine before, but does that mean it was cheating that he spent a good deal of his routine hidden from view? Entertaining routine, but I’m not sure what the judges will think of the dance content. Len Goodman described him as a “giant Fererro Roche” while Bruno teased that Russell “couldn’t wait to get out of that closet”.
  9. Audley Harrison and Natalie remind us that they’ve been in danger for several weeks now. Tonight they’re dancing a cha cha cha, but as much as we love watching Audley, he really is a terrible dancer. Natalie’s professional moves are in sharp contrast to Audley’s stiff steps. Even Bruno tells him that the national rail on a bank holiday has better timing.

And that’s your lot. By our reckoning, Audley Harrison is in danger this week. We sincerely doubt that Russell Grant – despite also being second last on the official Strictly Come Dancing leaderboard – will actually be in danger this week. Our best guess is that Robbie Savage or Chelsee Healey might be in trouble alongside Audley.

As always, we’d love to hear what you thought and how you would rank the contestants. Leave us a comment below!

X Factor 5th December 2009 Semi-Finals, The Unreality TV Chart

X Factor LogoWelcome back, luvvies, to possibly our last X Factor chart of the 2009 series. Did you enjoy our hyper-positive liveblog this evening?

After going against my own better nature and actively loving every act tonight, I can honestly say that this is my X Factor chart tonight:

  1. Danyl Johnson, Olly Murs, Stacey Solomon and Joe McElderry: Wow! 200,000 auditions! 12 Finalists! 4 contestants remain! Yes, in a country wide series of auditions, the best talent in the entire country was heard, shortlisted and shortlisted again. The public voted. The judges had their say. They used the deadlock to save the best singers. These four are the four most talented singers in the entire country. Who are we to choose between them? We just can’t do it!

Ok then, you’ve convinced us, here goes! Here are our real placings for tonight’s show.

  1. Of course it’s the gorgeous Joe McElderry. The only one left on the show who didn’t hit a flat note tonight. Joe has to win this competition….surely?
  2. Danyl Johnson. We were a little surprised by this result ourselves, as we haven’t been the most ardent Danyl supporters so far. The former teacher gave two of his best performances to date tonight, however when you compare his Whitney rendition to this, he is left a little lacking .
  3. Stacey Solomon: Stacey really messed up during her first song and when she was walking across those chairs we thought she would actually stop singing, so hard was she concentrating on not falling. She pulled it back with her rendition of Somewhere but she and Dannii really need to concentrate on song choice if she survives tomorrow.
  4. Olly Murs: The cheeky chappy act isn’t cutting it this week, because he just doesn’t have the vocals to go with it. Olly did well tonight, don’t misunderstand us, his dance moves were pretty nifty indeed but vocally there is a widening gap between him and the other three singers.

Who’s your favourite and who’s your favourite to leave tomorrow? Over to you, faithful readers…

X Factor 2009, Week 7 – The Unreality TV Chart, Wham Week

X Factor LogoWell, I don’t think this was the best week really; nobody truly and utterly stunned me, except Olly who could stun me just by reading out his laundry list.

That said, Danyl did do a fabulous job of Careless Whisper, even if the start was a bit uncertain, he soon picked up the singing ball and ran with it.

I did think it was a bit of a downer that George Michael wasn’t there and didn’t mentor anyone, however, that’s not really anything to do with our chart. So, moving swiftly on, here’s our run down of this week’s performances…. Read more & comment »

X Factor 2009, Week 6 – The Unreality TV Chart, Queen Week

X Factor LogoWell, that could have gone worse, couldn’t it? Queen week was always going to be a difficult one – Freddie Mercury is a hard act to follow. We’ve actually had a hard time deciding placement this week.

  1. Joe McElderry – As I said in the liveblog post, Joe gave a George Michael style performance which suited his own personality and we really enjoyed his stage presence tonight.
  2. Stacey Solomon – A classic diva version of Queen’s atmospheric Who Wants To Live Forever. Stacey shone with an impressive vocal that showed a power in her voice I hadn’t heard before.
  3. Danyl Johnson – After his butchering of Purple Rain in a previous week, Danyl won back a lot of respect tonight with the most authentic rock vocal of the night. And the judges held back their acid tongues this week. A great production number that may have brought a few fans back to Johnson!
  4. Jamie Archer - Jamie underwhelmed slightly, as he always does on rock tracks. We always have this expectation that he’ll be amazing, but he was wobbly on the vocals while he didn’t go far enough with the performing part.
  5. John and Edward – Yeah, I’m going to say it: an entertaining performance this week. The boys – to their credit – really raised their game on both the performance and the vocal levels.
  6. Lloyd Daniels – A marked improvement for Lloyd this week, but the feeling remains that Lloyd is completely out of his class. I liked him a little better tonight, but he’s still not my candidate for a record deal.
  7. Olly Murs – Sorry, but I’m rating Olly lower this week. For my money he’s veering into more light entertainer territory than recording artist. I don’t dislike him – for the record – I just can’t see him selling records. I feel like he’s being railroaded into an impossible position.

Like I said above, a difficult week, especially among our top three – I keep changing my mind. If you fancy dropping a comment, tell us who was you top and bottom act tonight…

X Factor 2009, Week 5 – The Unreality TV Chart, Movie Week

X Factor LogoHello again, lovely blog readers! It’s that time of the night where we sit back and reflect on the performances that we saw. And yes, we sit in judgement, because we don’t trust everything that Louis Walsh says, and we know that Simon will give his own acts the highest praise.

But really, who were the best and the worst of X Factor’s Movie Week? Well, let’s review (and you can give your own opinions in the comments, as always!)

  1. Jamie Archer – Jamie sang a version of Crying from a little-known movie, but excelled by giving an emotional and powerful performance. He showed yet again that his strength might actually be outside of the rock style the show has lumbered him with.
  2. Lucie Jones – A relatively unknown song choice for Lucie tonight, which might cost her in the phone votes when people don’t identify with it. However, she managed a great, fun and confident stage presence tonight, which definitely bested her category-mate Stacey’s performance.
  3. Stacey Solomon – Stacey isn’t too far behind though. She looked sexy tonight and definitely put more effort into her routine, which deserves praise. A good vocal, but certainly not the best of her X Factor career.
  4. Joe McElderry – A safe performance from Joe tonight, but didn’t work for me. I got a terrible Gareth Gates vibe from him tonight which made me question whether he can cut it as a recording artist. Gates isn’t relevant today, so would Joe be any different?
  5. Olly Murs – Another fun performance from Olly, slightly on the cheesy side, but enjoyable. I almost placed him alongside Joe because he raises similar concerns: good performer, but can he sell records?
  6. Danyl Johnson – Ah, Danyl. I was totally prepared to give him a second chance tonight. But although his performance was confident enough, his rendition of Purple Rain was overwrought and horrible to listen to. It was almost an emotionless, 3rd rate boyband version of the song and a huge disappointment.
  7. Jedward – Enjoyable, but utterly pointless. Louis Walsh is going to have to face facts soon – if these two win the competition, The X Factor will have to change the prize (a record deal, in case you didn’t know).
  8. Lloyd Daniels – Lloyd’s doe eyes are keeping him in the competition, which is a constant reminder that the voting audience don’t much care for talent (or in Lloyd’s case, lack of). I always feel bad criticising this guy, but ultimately he’s drifted out of his depth in the competition and it would be better for him to leave.

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X Factor 2009, Week 4 – The Unreality TV Chart, Rock Week

x-factor-logoYes, as we sit here in judgement of the contestants tonight, we must also lament their inability to rock convincingly. Seriously, we’re not gonna discover the next Axl Rose or Caleb Followill on this year’s X Factor.

So Rock Week was a bit of a bust. We witnessed the toppling of Danyl Johnson with a very stilted performance of an Aerosmith song, and guys like Joe McElderry and Olly Murs came out strong with good, albeit safe performances of rock songs.

So who were the pick of tonight’s acts and who were the dregs? Here’s the Unreality TV chart – and a note to the flamers, these are our opinions. You’re entitled to your own opinions. You’ll be wrong, but you’re entitled to them anyway. Tell us your favourites in the comments section!

  1. Rachel Adedeji – Rachel continued her winning streak by giving an almost flawless rendition of U2′s One. Performing the Mary J Blige version gave her a modern edge while allowing her to show a brilliant vocal. Not sure about that dress though.
  2. Lucie Jones – Lucie stopped singing more mature songs and tackled a GNR song in the style of Avril Lavigne. The judges praised her for becoming relevant and contemporary. Not only did she look great tonight, she gave a lively and confident performance.
  3. Jamie Afro – Despite Jamie being the contestant with the rock chops, Louis criticised him for lacking authenticity, saying he was a cheap Lenny Kravitz impersonator. In fairness, Jamie gave a strong performance but didn’t do much to distance himself from the label of ‘pub singer’.
  4. Olly Murs / Joe McElderry – It’s not often we do joint positioning, but Olly and Joe pulled off the same trick tonight. Neither were going to be much cop as rock singers, but they took their respective songs, sang them well and remained safe. Their performances were passable, more an effort by both of them to stay safe and get through to next week!
  5. Stacey Solomon – Stacey is starting to come across as the poor man’s Leona Lewis. Her vocals tonight were weaker than usual and the choice of a dull Keane song did nothing to excite us. She has a great voice under normal conditions, but despite what the judges said, her performance was still lacking. She walked? Is that enough to win the competition?
  6. Lloyd Daniels – To be fair to Lloyd, he did improve his performance this week. The singing was a dodgy as ever, and Lloyd was completely out of control. Uncomfortable to watch, but then I’m not the one who keeps voting him back each week!
  7. Danyl Johnson – I don’t know if Danyl really was that nervous tonight or if it was a bit of a sympathy play. Either way, his out of tune singing and stilted performance were a massive disappointment. Is he really that affected by criticism? I don’t know.
  8. Jedward – These tuneless buffoons are clearly there to pull in the votes and make Simon a fortune. As Sinitta said on Xtra Factor, no-one will buy their records, and that’s a fact. They didn’t know the lyrics, their performances are shambolic to say the least, a smokescreen for their lack of singing ability.

Phew, that’s our tuppence worth folks. It was a hard chart to make tonight, and we had some issues over placement. We’d really like your input – who were your favourites tonight?

X Factor 2009, Week 3 – The Unreality TV Chart

Well, at the end of the third live show, the notoriously difficult Big Band Week! Who were your favourites and who disappointed you the most? Like we do every week, here’s our chart of who we thought were the best and worst of tonight’s X Factor!

Louis Walsh has just said on Xtra Factor that his three favourite performances were Danyl Johnson, Miss Frank and Lucie Jones. We’re going to beg to differ slightly…here’s our top ten.

  1. Danyl Johnson – They say he’s cocky and overconfident, but tonight Danyl Johnson proved that he’s got the performance chops and the vocal ability to go all the way to the finals. Danyl carries himself like a fully developed artist already.
  2. Joe McElderry – Joe impressed us tonight with his version of Sway, even though he looked a little uncomfortable at the start. We think he’s got great potential and he’s definitely the Under 25 males’ answer to Danyl.
  3. Olly Murs – Big Band showed Olly playing to his strengths, playing the jack the lad character and generally vibing it up on stage. The cheeky chappie persona was a great fit to the theme of tonight’s show and we hope he can manage to adapt to the other theme weeks just as well.
  4. Lucie Jones – Lucie put in her best performance of the entire series tonight, so we rank her higher than her category-mates, Rachel and Stacey. She still needs to work on the performance skills, but she gave us a glimpse of a very capable voice tonight. Nice one Lucie!
  5. Jamie Archer – What to say about the Archer? Well, despite a cheating the theme by singing a U2 song, Jamie proved himself as quite the showman and cemented his ‘rock voice’. We’re still undecided about his long-term prospects in the competition though.
  6. Rachel Adedeji – Rachel managed a brilliant transformation, looking far more feminine than in previous weeks, and gave a storming rendition of Proud Mary, another not-really-swing song. Hopefully this’ll propel her through to the next week and another impressive performance.
  7. Stacey Solomon – We kind of felt that Stacey phoned in her performance this week. It was to her usual standard, but like Lucie, Stacey needs to give something more in her performances or she’s going to be a very one-dimensional ballad singer. We need to see something more.
  8. Miss Frank – It may have sounded better in the studio, but Miss Frank were a disappointment for us for the second week running. The sound quality was poor, and sometimes their singing sounds like a lot of unappealing noise. I think they need a lot more work.
  9. Lloyd Daniels – For our money, Lloyd’s a goner. He might be able to hold a tune, but overall he’s underwhelming. We have nothing else to say. Sorry kid, but you’re not making the grade.
  10. John and Edward – What can we say – a total balls-up. We know there are numpties out there who’ll vote for these two, but really, they’re a novelty act. Vote them out, they’ll release a novelty record anyway and everybody’s happy.

Right, over to you lot – give us your top ten contestants tonight!

X Factor 2009, Week 2 – The Unreality TV Chart

jamie-afroDiva Week. A tough week, as Cheryl repeatedly lamented, but only because boys aren’t great at diva material and she’s mentoring…the boys. But now that the performances are over, how well did the X Factor contestants do?

Well, here’s the return of the Unreality TV X Factor chart for our opinions on the best and the worst of the crop tonight. You can fight it out with us in the comments!

  1. Jamie Archer – A surprise top position for Jamie Archer, but well deserved. Jamie showed soul and delivered a fantastic, sensitive performance. Certainly a depth we honestly didn’t think he had! Well done Jamie!
  2. Joe McElderry – In contrast to Jamie’s experience, young Joe still manages to impress with a beautiful singing voice and more stage presence than the peers in his age group.
  3. Olly Murs – Formerly couldn’t stand Olly (on a charge of smarminess – he’s been caught red-handed), but his performance tonight was the most ambitious from a choreography point of view. The vocal wasn’t too shabby either and showed that Murs is taking the competition seriously.
  4. Stacey Solomon – A beautiful performance from Dagenham Stace, who looked gorgeous onstage. What’s holding her back from a higher position is an obscure song choice and a general lack of movement on stage.
  5. Danyl Johnson – The highly anticipated possible winner of the competition took on a previously unheard Whitney song with many strings pulled by mentor Simon Cowell. Shame that the song was so dull. He worked well with what he was given though, but it wasn’t up to his usual standard (although it wanted to be).
  6. Lucie Jones – Lovely Lucie made a valiant attempt at a Whitney song, but ultimately it was too big for her and kind of brought out some of her weaknesses as a performer. Though she looked great onstage, she showed that she might still have a lot of work to do on her act.
  7. John and Edward – It says a lot when the worst singers of the night weren’t the worst act. John and Edward succeed at entertaining an audience. They’re the Chico, the Same Difference of the competition. A bit of a joke, but at least they can engage with the audience – something the lower acts have a problem with.
  8. Rikki Loney – Even ditching his ridiculous hat collection couldn’t make Rikki shine in this competition. Notably, Simon said to him that “you went from a pub singer to a wedding singer in one week”, perhaps showing him exactly what he thinks of him.
  9. Lloyd Daniels – Otherwise known as “poor poor Lloyd”, this kid is utterly lacking in stage presence. We almost feel sorry for him with the ‘rabbit-in-headlights’ look in his face. The girlie vote will probably keep him in longer than necessary though.
  10. Rachel Adedeji – Oh Rachel! Terrible. I had such high hopes, but she started singing on her back on the stage and it sounded awful. Song choice hit her hard as well, and it looks like Dannii is struggling where to place Rachel as an artist.
  11. Miss Frank – I know a lot of people thought this was a good performance. It wasn’t. I just thought it was a noisy mess and I wouldn’t be surprised if they lose votes tonight. Another of Louis’ acts on the chopping block this week?

Well, readers, what do you think? Are we on the money or do you have a different chart?