Last night, Dogface decided that her hair needed a trim – and a brushing wouldn’t go amiss either by the way – so obviously, Lisa was number one choice of hairdresser…

And why wouldn’t she be given she has such luxurious and well styled… skin on her own head.

“I’m gunna do it bit by bit” said Lisa as she gathered up Sophie’s hair.

“You have to be careful because it’s so fine” she added as she went into stylist mode, though unlike most stylists, she didn’t ask if Dogface was going on holiday this year.

“You look like Lady Gaga” said Karly as she watched from a safe distance.

“People have always said I should be a hairdresser. I’m brilliant at hair. It’s ‘cos I got a steady hand” said Lisa.

And it’s true, that’s always a good trait in someone who’s wielding scissors near your eyes. Also, it’s good for gun fights and dynamite juggling, or so I’m told.

“Right, just keep still” said Lisa as she snipped away at Sophie’s fringe and perhaps just in case Sophie decided that would be a good moment to bounce on the bed or something.

Anyway, nobody got gouged and her fringe is in a relatively straight line. Phew.

Following their many rows, Lisa and Halfwit have made up this morning, as he predicated they would.

“I don’t dislike you and I don’t envy you because your family are rich” Lisa told Halfwit in the garden.

“No, I know” replied Halfwit.

“Sometimes people are scared to approach me” said Lisa, adding, “but I’m probably one of the softest people in the House”

Soft? Erm, ok, if you say so, scary skinhead lady.

“You wanna be careful with the acid tongue though” said Halfwit who it seems isn’t bothered whether he lives or dies…

“That is my protection” Lisa explained.

“It’s quite an intimidating kind of protection…” replied Halfwit.

“It’s just because I’m a loud person” said Lisa, quietly, adding, “I haven’t spoken to anybody [about you]. That upset me.”

Perhaps she’s forgotten the millions of times she’s spoken about him to other people…

“Can I explain?” said Halfwit. “It’s so difficult in this house because it’s hard to think straight. I wanted to explain how I felt. I didn’t intend to start an argument.”

“I think we’re probably reading you wrong because you don’t smile” said Lisa who again, seems to be struggling with memory issues because Halfwit’s Cheshire Cat grin is world renowned…

Halfwit then told Lisa, “Today, openness is going to a new level for me!” to which she replied,

“You’re not a nasty guy. You haven’t got a bad bone in your body. Your approach is good. I see that.”

“I’m chilled but it’s not from a place of weakness at all” said Halfwit. “I choose to be that way.”

Karly and Lisa are out of tobacco, and their nicotine withdrawals are showing…

In the garden yesterday, with Lisa chewing gum in a frenzied fashion and Karly pacing like a caged tiger, the two contemplated rummaging through the bins for any sign of an unsmoked ciggy, but their conversation soon turned mutinous as Lisa ranted that other houemates had exchanged tokens for booze so she reckoned she and Karly should do the same for tobacco…

Here’s a clip from their conversation…

Just as everything seemed quiet on the Western front – or Italian front – Lisa overheard Halfwit telling Charlie that he didn’t think she liked him much, and she doesn’t it seems.

“There are elements of this that are just nasty” Halfwit said to Charlie, to which he replied, “I don’t see nastiness from the people in here. No one doesn’t like you” he added, somewhat insincerely since he knows his best buddy Kris wouldn’t pee on Halfwit if he was on fire.

“I don’t think Lisa likes me” said Halfwit as Lisa walked up behind him.

“I don’t think you like me, Freddie” she said, hackles rising nicely and fake facial hair a’wobbling.

“I dislike you scheming against me and bitching behind my back” said Halfwit, taking his life in his hands…

“I’m not bitching against you and I’m not scheming against you, so you wanna get that out your head.

“I don’t know where you’re getting that from” she ranted, adding, “You’re paranoid. You’re not a fool. You’re playing the victim of the house.”

Well, that lit Halfwit’s blue touch paper…

“I’m playing the victim?!” he spluttered. “You’re the source of the reason why a lot of people don’t like me and don’t trust me.”

“I do like you, you can just be aggravating!” shouted Lisa back at him. “I’m allowed to have my opinion in the house” she yelled, adding, “I’ll tell you something; you don’t like me, I don’t like you, so I’ll tell you what, let’s not talk to each other.”

by that time, several of the others had gathered to watch the fireworks and Karly decided to add her twopennorth.

“Maybe it’s to do with the fact that you told people in here you’ve got a gameplan. Have you thought of that?”

Halfwit didn’t get much chance to respond while everyone else debated his gameplan.

“He’s gonna make out he’s the victim in this” Kris announced then told everyone they should just leave it.

“We’re not talking to you Freddie. We’re not talking to you Freddie. We’re not talking to you Freddie” he repeated in truly adult style as he stalked away.

Once everyone had shuffled off, Halfwit told a bemused Charlie, “My gameplan was to have as much fun as possible.”

“You single yourself out from everyone else” Charlie told him by way of response. “You don’t interact with the group.”

A fed up looking Halfwit sighed, “Certain people want somebody to take a fall here, because if somebody takes a fall, that means they don’t get nominated.”

Oh dear… I bet they’re not going to let that one lie.

Lisa’s spent this afternoon shaving her hair off, as you do.

As Kris and Siavash stared on in horror, Lisa boldly took the clippers to her head but realised within a short time that she’d set it to a very short grade.

“Ahh, that’s too short man,” she exclaimed. “Too short. ****! Don’t matter, it’ll grow back” she said, quickly resigning herself to her new scalped look.

Kris looked like a slack jawed yokel as he stared and stared and then stared a bit more. Lisa noticed him gawking and said,

“You won’t like it because you’re not used to me, but when it comes through a bit and I’ve got me mascara on…”

She didn’t finish that sentence because really, what could she have said??

“I find it quite therapeutic to watch it being done” said Kris by way of explanation for his continued staring.

“You want me to do the back?” Siavash asked.

“Yeah, just go gently over it, or it’ll rip the hair out” Lisa said, adding, “You watch in a couple of days Kris, it’ll look so wicked.” He nodded and stared a bit more.

Bless.

For a change – not – the housemates are going on about gameplans again this morning.

In the garden with Noirin, Karly, Charlie and Kris making up the audience, Lisa has been ranting on about Halfwit’s gameplan…

“I tell you something – he’s not silly. He’s playing the game, trust me.”

She then began pacing the garden, adding, “If you get too cocky with yourself, you ******* lose it.”

Yes Lisa, it never does to get too cocky with yourself. Yourself might slap you around if you get too cocky with it…

In a lull, Karly chipped in with, “He said ‘I think the other person is going because they do more controversial things than me’, but he wants to be an MP. He’s one for arguing, that’s what he’s about, so when he’s up for nomination he doesn’t argue.”

And if anyone has any clue what that meant, please do let me know.

Lisa then continued, “I’m telling you now, he’s a player. He spoke to me one night on the bench, he’s playing the game, trust me.”

Gasp! Well if we’d known he’d spoken to her on the bench, I suspect that he may well have been the one to leave last night! Erm, not.

“He likes watching social groups and how people change and what groups they go into” said Kris, much to Lisa’s approval.

“He’s definitely playing the game” she confirmed, just in case someone, somewhere missed the fact she thinks he’s playing a game.

“But he’ll never get past me” she concluded before going off for a fag.

Eek.

For the latest news and gossip on Lisa click here

Lisa is a 41 year old butch lesbian from Birmingham who wants to turn as many straight women as she can.

Lisa admits to being a geeky and quiet teenager who came out to one of her teacher’s after being teased about being a lesbian. She has worked in various factories throughout her life and regrets that she left school before taking her exams. Lisa says that she’s learnt to go without, isn’t greedy and doesn’t ask for much.

Lisa’s friends would describe her flat as a ‘show home,’ and she admits her home is so clean you could eat off the floor. Lisa is equally particular about her appearance and admits to being a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to her hair and make up. Her look can be either masculine of feminine depending on who she is dating at the time.

She enjoys flirting with both sexes and would love to ‘turn’ Angelina Jolie. Her only bad habit is cleaning!

Stilettos turn her on and her nickname is pinky. Lisa likes rubber underwear and would like to be reincarnated as a pair of pants.

Lisa believes in life after death, Jesus and aliens.

Anyone who saw the Big Brother launch show tonight (and I can’t imagine anyone missing it!), will know about the first four housemates’ secret task.

Mario and Lisa entered the house as a couple, but after they were joined by Stephanie and Luke, Big Brother gave them their first task. Mario and Lisa must pretend that they are not a couple, but instead 43 year old Mario must convince the other housemates that he is with 19 year old Stephanie. If they pull it off, the four taking part in the task will escape next weeks public vote. If they fail they will all be up for eviction.

At the end of the launch show, Davina McCall announced that Mario and his new girl Stephanie will be getting married this Sunday, and they’ll think it’s for real!!!! How brilliant!

One half of the first ever summer Big Brother couple, Lisa is dating fellow new housemate Mario. The former bodybuilder is a fitness and health fanatic who teaches fitness classes alongside her regular job as a sales rep for tanning products. She is also involved in charity fundraising.

Lisa’s the proud mother of an 18-year-old daughter, and has a spiritual side – she believes in reincarnation, life after death, clairvoyants, ghosts, spirit guides, and universal dynamics. Lisa met Mario three years ago when she bought a crystal ball from him on ebay and met up with him to collect it. She says the most significant event in her life was when Mario pawned his Rolex to buy her a boob job.

Lisa says she’s often likened to Xena Warrior Princess, and says she’s “like a magnet exerting powerful attraction”. A “punk rocker” at age 11, she later developed an interest in archaeology at age 13, even going along to local excavations to help out. She wants to be in the Big Brother house to unlock her inhibitions and to test herself, and would be very happy if she found the boyband Westlife in the house so she could have a bath with them.