David Gest has declared that he wants to marry ex-Emmerdale actrees, Malandra Burrows.

The pair first met in the jungle whilst taking part in ITV’s reality TV show, I’m A Celebrity get Me Out Of Here.

David told Star magazine that wedding bells would be ringing “pretty soon, and real fast”.

“I hope to settle down in the coming year and eventually have some children,” he said.

If I was Malandra, I’d be getting worried about now. After all didn’t he sue his last wife?

With Malandra Burrows leaving last night and Jan Leeming tonight, we have five celebrities left in the jungle. The most popular David Gest, with everyone waiting on him hand and foot. The ever popular, nice but funny guy, Jason Donovan, the handy-man . The beautiful Myleene Klass, everyone’s pin up and really very nice person. The charming Matt Willis who gets on with everyone and is always smiling and lastly Dean Gaffney who has tackled his trials, in sheer audible panic but always returned to camp with a good number of meals.

David and Jan have kept the camp both entertained and irritated with their swinging friendship and enmity. David has been upsetting Jan with his unwillingness to pull his weight, being spoilt by all and unappreciation of her cooking. But they have enjoyed the banter over tooth brushing (David telling Jan that he has some one to brush his teeth for him back home), David encouraging her singing, posing for Play Boy Centre fold and anything else he feels the ‘gulible’ Jan will believe. His never ending amusing games have kept both the viewer and camper, highly entertained. Now the couple have split forever, as Jan has said that in spite of his dinner invitation, she would not be going out with him because he had become boring. ( Anyone agree???). Will she still get the promised diamond-stoned cross?

After Dean’s homecoming with five of the six stars, having braved, with screams of terror, a completely dark cave filled with cockroaches, biting ants, spiders and frogs and a strawberry cream cake that was blown up because the third key for the padlocks was not found within the ten allotted minutes, Jan waved goodbye to her fellow campers to head for the luxury six star hotel, friends and hopefully, family. We will miss her (not her whinging) with the cheeky smile, working around the camp fire and spirited discussions with David. Her final night was spent watching a furious storm, lightning and thunder, sharing dreams (David’s was the best with his shooting of all the staff and walking out with Myleene), sad good bye’s and final interview with Ant and Dec. Who will be the next to go???

This article was written by Evelyn a contributor here at Unreality TV. Thanks Evelyn!

It hardly seems fair. She’s just back from a successful Bushtucker trial, helping to win five meals for camp, and now she’s going home.

Malandra ended up in the bottom two once more tonight, this time joined by Dean Gaffney. But Malandra polled the least votes and was told to get her stuff ready and cross the bridge to Ant, Dec and the outside world.

Malandra was a nice pleasant woman, very willing to pull her weight and always nice to the other celebs. However I do not think the camp will suffer without her, she was not a strong personality and life will go on in the jungle….well until Sunday at least!

It would seem that ITV’s jungle celebrities are literally fading before our eyes!

Jason Donovan was given scales today to weigh all the happy campers. Here is their weights when they entered the jungle and their weights now…..what a difference!

David Gest 13st 5 lb 11st 5 lb

Matt Willis 13st 2 lb 12st 2 lb

Jason Donovan 12st 11st 1 lb

Jan Leeming 8st 3 lb 7st 8 lb

Myleene Klass 9st 1 lb 8st 5 lb

Malandra Burrows 9st 4 lb 8st 6 lb

Dean Gaffney 9 st 4lb 8st 5lb

Courtesy Of ITV

Dinner was literally hanging in the balance during today’s Bushtucker Trial -Skyscrape. Malandra and Myleene discovered that they would have to clamber on to a seesaw platform 200ft above the jungle floor.

They would then have to take it in turns to collect corresponding flags hanging off the edges of the platform. Each pair of flags, collected in numerical order, would equal a much needed meal for camp.

After being winched up above the jungle canopy the girls gingerly tiptoed to each end of the huge seesaw to pluck the flags from the platform.

Counter balancing each other they used brilliant teamwork to pick up four flags and four meals but perhaps slight over confidence saw Mal and Myleene plummet off the edge as they went for the next meal.

Regaining their footing and their composure they grabbed the next set of flags before once again over reaching themselves and swinging off the ledge. Undeterred they managed to pick up another two meals but unfortunately dropped two flags on their way back to the ground which meant that they lost a brace of meals.

The girls ended up with five flags and therefore five meals, a lot better than the boys meagre one star last night!

With a candle burning for the departed Toby Anstis, we now have had to say goodbye to the brilliant fashion designer, Scott Henshall who has been dressing the famous since a very early age. In the jungle he swung from coward to hero, as he tackled the many horrific trials the public chose him to endure.

Jan Lemmings son has said that although very proud of his mother’s courage shown during the numerous trials she was voted to suffer, he was mortified at her strip tease, in her yellow suit, (calling it cringe-worthy). I thought she looked great for a woman of 64. Poor Jan is always being knocked. Is it because she was continuously pulling others down? We have seen a changed Jan of late.

The celebrities had to choose three contestants for the Thunderball trial. Two men and one woman was their choice, saying that the men had more chance of bringing home the stars/meals and they were all starving. Malanda Burrows , Matt Willis and Jason Donovan were their choice. Matt had to slither into a giant transparent ball, with Ant and Dec adding a bucket of tea and coffee. His two mates had to give the ball a massive push, targeting the stars, to get it rolling down the hill in an attempt to hit one of the coloured stars propped up at the end of the run, which had various values in meals. The black star meant losing a meal. Jason had a bucket of baked beans added to the coffee, when it was his turn and Malandra had the coffee, baked beans and a bucket of tomatoes, for company as she rolled around, inside the sealed ball. I wonder how much was consumed by the starving contestants as they tumbled down the hill. The only one to earn meals was Malandra, the GAL.

Come on guys have you learned nothing? Send the girls in to tackle the trials and you wont be so hungry and David will escape being at ‘deaths door’. It is a good thing that they each received an edible treat with their letters from home, obtained by teams of two and three, running in turn, against the clock, to sink a ball in a board pocket to release the chest. Tears flowed as they read the letters to each other, David’s being most impressive with all the famous name dropping. Well we do know that one for sure, is still alive, Michael Jackson. Scott’s letter declared him ‘Queen’ of the jungle, to everyone’s amusement.

Will the celebrities be taken pity on as they plead, in the telegraph room, for candy, wine, etcetera and end off with a chorus of ‘chocolate please’?

The bottom two campers, who had to be voted for by the public, a second time, Scott and Dean, resulted in Scott leaving the jungle for good, to return to his world of fashion after drinking champagne with Ant and Dec and Dean, to enjoy another day with his friends. WHO WILL GO TONIGHT????

This article was written by Evelyn a contributor here at Unreality TV. Thanks Evelyn!

Successfully retrieving the Chest, the celebrities were given a parcel from their loved ones as well as a letter from someone special and all were thrilled with their treats which included strawberries, Tabasco sauce, chocolate cake, biscuits…and a Pot Noodle!

The celebrities were told that each of their letters must be read out by another of the celebrities and the tears were soon flowing.

Jason got particularly emotional, bursting into tears as he was shown a photograph of his partner Angela and children, waiting for him at the Versace hotel. Matt also had a tear in his eye as he was read a heartfelt emotional letter from his girlfriend Emma.

Phina read Myleene’s letters from her parents - Magdalena and Oscar - and fiancée Graham. She burst into floods of tears as soon as Phina began reading.

The letter from her parents read: “We have been watching you all while still in the UK and have enjoyed it tremendously. The night sky is beautiful here especially the Orion display. Perhaps when you gaze up into the sky tonight you might think of the words of Miss Saigon and think of breathing in the same air as us tonight as you are so close.�

Fiancee Graham sent a letter to his “Jungle Bunny� telling her to “have fun, stay strong and I miss you big time. I’m even eating less in support of you.�

“It was just so overwhelming because it’s like you have been institutionalised,� she said. “You are so used to seeing the same greenery and faces and suddenly ‘Wham’ you get a taste of home.�

Lauren read David’s letters from pals Tito Jackson and Jane Russell and he looked emotional, especially when he heard that Michael Jackson had been watching his jungle antics.

His first letter from Tito Jackson read: “Respect to you for staying in the jungle and not leaving in the first six hours. But you must have a hundred and one reasons for staying there and everyone sends their love. My kids think you are the best Uncle in the world for doing this at your age and after all you have been through in the past few years. David, how are you coping without the maid and the chef? Have you told them about Vaginika Seaman yet? Michael was watching you on TV in London recently and told me: ‘That man never changes but I wish him all the best and would love to see him win the show as he has come a long way in that jungle. Rather him than me. Ha ha ha’.�

Matt looked particularly upset and had a definite tear in his eye as Faith read his letter from his girlfriend Emma.

“To my gorgeous boy, I can’t quite believe we haven’t spoken for over a week. I’ve been utterly lost not having you around and there is a whopping great hole permanently next to me that only you can fill so make sure you don’t lose too much weight mate. I’ll finish this note by saying spending this much time away from you has only confirmed for me even more that I don’t want to be without you again. I don’t work without you. You are the love of my life and I’m so proud of you for staying true to who you are and not putting on an act for the cameras. I love you with all of my heart, body and soul from my head to my toes and back. I love you Matthew.� Emma xxxx.

Jan read Jason’s letters and he was already in tears before she had even begun because of the photograph that he had seen of his family at the Versace hotel where they and all the other friends and family were waiting for their loved ones to return.

“Dear Daddy, I miss you so much that I’m keeping a diary so you don’t miss anything I’ve done while you’re in the jungle. I love you so much. Gemma.�

“Dear Daddy, I love you so much and I’ve lost another tooth. Love from Zac.�

“J, I think the kids have said the important stuff. We all miss and love you so much. Love always, Angela.�

Phina was also blubbing as Myleene read her letter from friend Frances: “Your friends and family are so proud of you and remember the big guy is looking on. The Toxteth massive are threatening to parachute food into camp. Stefano promises to spoil you like a Princess when you get out of the jungle.�

David read Lauren’s letter from her husband Craig: “Everyone back home sends their love. You’re my, and the girls, Queen of the Jungle. The girls miss you loads but they are telling anyone who will listen that you are in the jungle and they have come to Oz to rescue you and you are the best mummy in the whole world. Not just waiting but aching to see you. Love you to the Mars.�

Malandra read Dean’s letter from his twin girls Charlotte and Chloe which also saw him filling up: “Hi Daddy, we think you are doing really well. Keep up the good work. When you’d done the trial we thought you was going to faint. It was very funny. We are all very proud of you so be careful of the spiders and the snakes and we all love you so, so much. Much love from Chloe, Char and Mummy.�

Matt read Faith’s letter from partner Len and she got so choked during the reading that she couldn’t even speak.

“It seems so long since you left. I miss you so much. You seem to be doing so well. We’d like to see more of you when you let your hair down.�

Scott read Jan’s letter from friend Sue:

“Everyone I know is backing you to overcome whatever else you have to do. Keep focussed and you may even become Queen of the Jungle. But if not, you’ve proved yourself to be one amazing woman.�

Jan read Scott’s letter and he was thrilled to hear from his best friend Hofit. The letter was a fitting end to all of the letters from home and the celebrities had a laugh listening to it.

“Who would have thought that my favourite pampered Princess would last in the jungle this long. I miss my partner in crime, my gossip buddy. I can see that you have settled well and adjusted to your new home. Who could have ever thought you could live with eleven strangers and now five straight men! Everyone is cheering you on and no matter what happens now Scotty, you are Queen of the Jungle.�

Courtesy Of ITV

The celebrities had to decide amongst themselves which three would face the trial but it wasn’t an easy decision as some of the men’s sexist views got in the way of the selection process. With Matt and Jason picked, the camp finally decided to send Malandra Burrows as token female.

Taking it in turns, one celebrity had to climb inside a huge clear plastic ball and be pushed down a steep slope by the other two celebrities, aiming at target stars at the bottom. Different stars at the bottom were worth corresponding numbers of meals - yellow was worth one, green two meal tickets and the red star three meals, but if the celebrity hit the black target star they would lose a meal for camp.

Ant and Dec told them that they each had one attempt and then two celebrities would have a second go making five rolls in total down the slope.

“You’ll also be joined in there by some breakfast ingredients,� Ant told them.

“I normally have champagne,� said Malandra as a vat of tea and coffee was poured inside the ball.

Jason dived inside the ball and Malandra and Matt planned their strategy to aim Jason in the right direction but he missed all the stars. “I have to say that was the weakest coffee I’ve ever had,� he commented after.

Roll number two was Matt and the second ingredient was popped in, a barrel of baked beans.

Jason shoved him down the hill but he too failed to pick up stars at the bottom and was gutted as he drained his goggles of bean juice.

Malandra got ready to go with the added ingredient of tomatoes: “I get plenty of those thrown at me on stage,� she said. “I’m used to it. At least they’re not in the tin!� she laughed hysterically.

She jumped into the ball but got her body stuck halfway and Matt came to her rescue, pushing her inside. As she launched down the hill, the sound of the mixtures squelching inside could be clearly heard. Malandra knocked down a red target winning three meals for camp. “See it takes a girl doesn’t it,� she said as she clambered out of the ball.

Next up it was two people inside the sphere and the celebrities couldn’t believe it. Jason and Matt climbed in and were joined by some eggs. Going flying down the hill squealing they went right off course and missed all of the stars.

With pancake syrup and orange juice added to the mix, Malandra and Matt got inside the ball with Malandra again getting wedged in half way and requiring a shove to get her inside. All that could be heard was hysterical laughter as the pair tumbled down the hill missing all of the targets yet again.

Having enjoyed a full English breakfast of sorts, the celebrities disappeared back to camp.

Courtesy Of ITV

War is raging in the two camps with much hostility between the teams and within the camps. Phina Oruche and Jan Leeming are at loggerheads, tears from those missing family and friends and male concern for Jan, in the all female camp. It is getting a lot tougher now, with much fighting, tears, bickering, hunger and frayed nerves. The next Bushtucker trial will mean the winner’s camp will be immune from the first eviction, so competitiveness has reached boiling point.

After a hearty, sea food feast and sound sleep, in the women’s Snake Rock Camp and rice in the men’s Base Camp, the women awoke with full tummies, singing and dancing whereas the men opened their eyes in misery, empty tums and complaining of no energy. There was concern for David Gest who would not eat anything until Matt Willis managed to feed him a couple of spoons of rice. (I DO WISH THEY HAD THEIR NAMES ON THEIR CLOTHES IN THE FRONT AS WELL AS THE BACK SO THAT WE CAN SEE WHO IS WHO especially when it comes to Matt and Toby Ansis).

One by one, the men trudged off to the Bush Telegraph Room to complain of their hunger, failing health and energy, with Scott declaring that he would fight to the death to bring food back for the men. Jan, wailing in exasperation, at the end of her energy, crying buckets, saying that the public were trying to break her by voting her to do all the trials and Phina, unsussessfully attempted to console her by stating that they enjoyed watching her but she could not be comforted and it ended with a really nasty argument between them.

Phina suggested that Jan either feigned fainting or refused to do the next trial. Scott Henshall adamantly stated that if the trial was eating bugs, then the girls could win, in spite of the men living on ‘the delusion of eating, in their dreams’. The Bushtucker Duel meant that the two contestants had to out-eat the other, to win. Both refused to eat the locusts and kangaroo testicles, anus, balls, eyes and tongue. They consumed a gooey grub-smoothie, smelling of dirty feet and a foul cheesy, mouth burning fruit, earning two stars respectively but Scott won the contest by adding a silk worm to his meal, jumping up and down and stamping his feet to down it, earning a third star. Poor little things, referring to the silkworms.

They had been urged by Ant and Dec to eat more of the ‘feast’, as many had done in the past, everything being safe to eat. Jan and Scott remained immovable. Jan suggested that Ant and Dec try it and asked if they ever had, to be told ‘don’t be ridiculous, of course not’. Scott arrived back at camp, jubilantly shouting his victory and three stars, to the guys, too weak to do more than lie on their beds murmuring, ‘Good work Scott’. Jan explained to the girls that in spite of her agent telling her otherwise, the insects, etcetera, were the ‘the real thing’. Her fellow campers were very sympathetic and thrilled to be getting two meals to share amongst the six.

The men have been boasting of three wins out of five but they did not get their questions correct for the treats in the two chests, so lost out. Toby and Dean Gaffney brought back the treat chest after fighting it out with Myleene Klass and Phina. Myleene remarked on how the two men had been shouting at each like ‘a married couple’ Each team had to carry a life sized dummy up and down the banks in the jungle, detangling it from the strings they had to follow, till they could unlock the padlock with the attached key. The girls were not physically able to cope, as much as they wanted the chilled champagne and large slab of chocolate. Unfortunately, the men lost out too as they, once again, did not get the question right. The men were really disappointed at getting the question wrong but whooped loudly in delight to dupe the girls into thinking think that they had. It worked. All, bar David, enjoyed their meal of avocado, potatoes and emu sausages. As starving as he was, David would not eat the emu sausage. Looking pale and frail, he had both camps worrying about him.

The trial for immunity will have twelve stars in the murky river water, ‘What Lurks Beneath’, guarded by alligators amongst other challenges and the person chosen by the public from each team, will have to dive for the stars. Malandra Burrows (named after MALcolm, dad and sANDRA, Mom) was hoping to be chosen for this trial but Phina was the publics choice to compete against her ‘arch enemy’, Scott Will the fluff fly again, after the notorious battle where these two fought over a treat chest, leaving Scott bitten and scratched. Scott threw his hat to the ground, in anger at having to do the trial with Phina who did an exhilarating war dance. Let the games begin!!!

This article was written by Evelyn Lewis, one of our contributors at Unreality TV. Thanks Evelyn.

It is open war between Base Camp (men) and Snake Rock Camp (women) after the most publicised Scott Henshall and Phina’s violent wrestling match. Scott’s stories of Phina’s attack worsening with each telling and the disgraced Phina Orusche wanting to go home. As does the poor starving David, showing his chubby torso for all to see, woefully declaring himself skinny and dramatically warning that people have died after a week of no food, much to Jason Donovan’s amusement. The men were down to rice for all meals, refusing to eat the beans and the women were chewing raw beans, tasting of crayons (Phina getting violently ill) as if they were peanuts, as they did not have the energy to cook them.

Scott and Jan Leeming set off, hand in hand, to tackle Bushtucker trial ‘Catch a Falling Star’. They were dropped out of a plane 14,000 ft above the ground with parachutes opening at 12,000 ft and being held, from the back, by an experienced person. Although both were terrified, they did not show it as they plunged to the ground, Jan first, catching colourful flares (stars) on their way down. Jan won with 4 stars, Scott getting 2 of the six shot out to each of them, from the plane. Scott returned to camp with a suffering male ego, once again beaten by a woman, where a desperately hungry David Gest asked which woman they should barbeque first! The women enjoyed a banquet of tropical sea food after Phina led her fellow campers into wholeheartedly singing ‘For She’s a Jolly Good Fellow’ to a gratified Jan. There was concern for the hungry men, with Jan, opposed by Phina, suggesting that they let the men win the tucker chest.

Dean Gaffney and Malandra Burrows (called a Jungle Rat by her ex best friend whose family she is rumoured to have torn apart after a four year affair with her husband, according to ‘The Irish People’ newspaper) set off for the battle of the tucker chest. They had to climb rope ladders and swing out from a tree, to grab at the dangling key to the chest. After three valiant attempts, (Malandra, half-heartedly climbing no more than two rungs), Dean carried the chest triumphantly back to a jubilant six starving men. Sad to say they did not get the question right (who has the highest IQ, men or women?) In their shamed state, they said women, to live another foodless day (besides rice). We leave the men in a huddle with their arms around each singing ‘Always look on the bright side’.

Bug eating, Bushtucker Jewel, is the next trial coming up, with Jan and Scott once again, chosen by the public to battle it out for the ‘winner takes all’. Will her sympathy and horror at eating the creepy crawlies and worse, get Jan to let Scott win?????

This article was written by Evelyn Lewis, one of our contributors at Unreality TV. Thanks Evelyn.

Dean’s leap of faith won him and the boys the Celebrity Chest.

“There has been so much animosity between the men’s side and the women’s side so I have got to do this for Scott and the boys,� he said before setting off. “I think that this chest will be as competitive as Scott and Phina’s. There will certainly be no violence involved but if I can put my opponent off in any way, shape or form I will do that.�

He raced up a rope ladder dangling from a tree, beating a struggling Malandra to the top which won him the chance to dive into mid air to grab the chest key.

After numerous failed attempts he finally caught the key and jubilantly took the chest back to Base Camp.

The question posed to win breakfast cereal and milk was: ‘Who has the higher IQ? Men or women?’ After much debate and Scott’s reminder that Carol Vorderman was pretty clever, they opted for the fairer sex…and were wrong. Instead of cereal they ended up with inflatable sumo suits.

Courtesy Of ITV

Bushtucker Trial ‘Operation’ was the challenge for Phina Oruche, voted to do so by the public and who, in turn, chose Jason Donovan to assist her. The goal being to retrieve the stars.

First Phina and then Jason had to take them carefully out of narrow crevices in the ground, without touching the sides. (The operation). Jason sat in the ‘waiting room’ and each time a side was touched, there would be a buzz and nasties would fall on an ever cheerful Jason. The rolls were reversed half way. Interestingly, Phina sang beautiful Christian music, praising the Lord throughout her ordeal in the waiting room and Jason came out blaspheming the name of Jesus. Two totally extreme reactions. (Why is all the bad language is beeped out but not when the campers blaspheme the name of Jesus? This must very offensive to the Christian viewers, if they are still watching) The team returned to camp, covered in all sorts of ‘critters,’ joyfully boasting of the six stars they had achieved and thus earning 6 meals to be shared amongst the 11 campers (soon to be 12).

The 12th Celebrity, Malanda Burrows was rescued by an astonished Lauren Booth and Matt Willis who found her deep in the jungle sitting on a swing, suspended approximately one hundred and fifty feet above the ground, with the food chest key dangling from her foot. To rescue her and the key they had to walk a tight wire and half way across lift her up onto the wire and then the three had to make it safely to the other side to get the chest which they triumphantly carried back to camp where the open mouthed campers, in utter amazement, welcomed Malanda into the family.

David Gest and Jan Leeming have been spending quality, musical time together. The producer and the ‘singer’.

The campers, having thoroughly enjoyed the meal, waited for Ant and Dec in anticipation, for the announcement of the next Bushtucker trial. The Snake Bite. A miserable Jan Leeming has once again been chosen to tackle a trial by putting her hands into a snake pit, with possible bites to retrieve the 12 stars. Will she do it???

This article was written by Evelyn Lewis, our newest contributor at Unreality TV. Welcome aboard Evelyn. We’re thrilled to have you with us!

EX-EMMERDALE star Malandra Burrows is set to join the celebs in the jungle today.

The actress will surprise two of her new campmates sent to rescue a “mystery guest”.

Malandra, who has been allowed to watch the first few episodes, said: “We want more drama!”

But she admitted “I feel I have got a very hard job as they seem to have bonded very closely.”