In the first show of the X Factor series we see highlights from the Manchester and London auditions, including this years open day at Old Trafford where a record breaking 17,000 people turned up to try and impress the judges. And if the first day in Manchester is anything to go by, with arguing mother-in-laws, Madonna wannabes, and set destroying dance moves it is going to be a long stretch for our judges!

First in the audition room is 40 yr old landscape gardener Tim who believes he has not only the voice to impress the judges but also the moves – he’s been practising his routine for the last 6 months with huge encouragement from his long term partner Debbie. Unfortunately for Tim Simon is less than impressed, “I’ve go absolutely no idea why you had any encouragement whatsoever. It is about as bad as it can possibly get�.

Next up is 16 yr old student Shaun Rogerson, who has a slight problem overcoming his nerves, he stumbles over his words and stops half way through his audition visibly shaking, with the judges taking pity on him Sharon suggests that he takes a break and comes back later when he has calmed down. But will his nerves get the better of him, or will he be able to impress the judges second time around?

At the London auditions Simon has a surprise for Sharon and Louis, in the form of the fourth judge, with Simon believing that when they see who it is “they are going to have to raise their game, in fact I will have to raise my game�. And arriving six hours later than expected, in walks guest judge Paula Abdul, much to the delight of Sharon who is thrilled to have a fellow female on the panel.

54 yr old Donna believes she has the potential to be the next international superstar just like Madonna. Singing Madonna’s hit “Like a Prayer�, she is “praying� that she will impress the judges enough to make it through to the Bootcamp, but Simon is less than impressed “amazingly we’ve missed off the first part of your name, mad Donna�.

But there are some treats in for the judges and some acts do appear to have what the judges are looking for. First through to Bootcamp are three sisters Karen Claudia and Natasha otherwise known as Pure Liberty who at last bring a smile to the judges faces especially Paula’s, “I adore you guys you’re so much fun and so talented�.

It doesn’t stop there with more “yes’s� from the judges coming for 21 yr old receptionist Leona, who impresses Simon so much he gives a rare comment of praise, “Absolutely fantastic a great audition�. And six piece harmony group The Unconventionals really make the judges day, despite Simon first thinking he was going to hate them, after their performance he declares that “we could bottle you lot and sell you because you have made every single person in this room smile�.

But the flow of positivity is shattered when 31 yr old Michael Jackson fan Onkar Judge walks into the room, after almost destroying the set with his dance moves and hurting the judges ears from his high pitched singing the judges are unanimous that it is one of the worst auditions they have seen so far. But Onkar doesn’t take it lying down shouting “Don’t judge the judge please because there is only one Judge, and that’s me, Onkar Judge�

But it is the final act of the episode that has Sharon and Louis in stitches, and all at Simon’s expense. Choir singer Lorraine, 52, from Manchester takes in some addition protection in the audition, in the form of her mother-in-law 86 yr old Edna! But when Simon laughs at Lorraine’s audition Edna is less than happy. “You laughed, you need to alter your ways Simon�, a sheepish Simon apologises and looks visibly embarrassed, but Edna doesn’t stop there, “you think you’re better than everyone, but I think you are ignorant, yes you were very ignorant Simon�. After apologising again and saying sorry to Edna, a word that rarely leaves Simon’s mouth, he leaves the audition room commenting “I have never been so humiliated in my life�.

Switch over to The Xtra Factor on ITV2 to see more exclusive auditions with Ben Shephard, including this week, 72 yr old Brian, who has a unique health tip to keep you looking young, by inserting raw cloves of garlic up his bum! Brian has been placing 2 or 3 cloves there for the last 19 years, which by our calculations means he has gone through over 70,000 cloves of garlic…! And 50 cent fan Marissa astonishes Ben with her own very crude rap song.

Has anybody seen Paperdoll Heaven yet?

It’s a massive flash website that lets you play dress-up with your favourite celebrities. They’ve got everybody on there, including some reality TV heavyweights like Sharon Osbourne, Paula Abdul, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie from The Simple Life and Girls Aloud.

Stardoll seem to regularly add new celebs for you to play with, and each celeb has a massive wardrobe (of course) for you to mix and match and accessorise!

So there you go folks, something to waste a little bit of time on today, courtesy of your friends at Unreality TV! Have fun! Oh, and let us know if you come across anything similar on your travels….