For Nikki’s final show (ever?), she had a special treat. According to Nikki, they were ‘big, butch and dikey’ To the rest of us, they were the Harlequins Women’s rugby team. And some of them seemed decidely unimpressed with Nikki.

As she sauntered out of the changing room, she looked nothing more than a little girl dressed up in her daddy’s clothes. However, images can be deceptive, and Nikki got off to a good start. She was hoisted for lineouts, and even tried her hand at tackling, but inevitably, something would get the better of her – and it just happened to be a bit of damp grass. From here, it was all downhill.

The coach had the wrong idea when it came to encouraging Nikki to Run the Gauntlet: he should have had her imagining that it was a crowd of paparazzi, clamouring for a photograph. Lets face it, thats the closest she’s likely to get to them from now on. And was it just me, or did the ladies seem to enjoy the prospect of dunking Nikki into a bin of icy cold water? Perhaps the crew put them wise to the dikey comment.

At least the water was clean, which is more than can be said for anything in the House of Horror where Nikki was despatched next. Extreme Cleaning is one thing – but cockroaches in just one drawer? A rotting, maggotty fish in another? I may be a tad cynical, but something was stinking, and it wasn’t just the foodstuff. ‘I’m not doing it’ she declared, and crisis talks with her father were swiftly arranged.

‘Dad would you do it?’ she asked. No, came back the reply.

‘Would you do it for a tv show you were being paid to do?’

Unfortunately for Nikki, the answer was yes.

After shrieking and crying her way through the kitchen drawers, an upsurge of sewage was to be Nikki’s final challenge. After weeks of training in all matters plop related, and despite looking like a reject from BioWars III, it was all too much for her. And so, the series limped to an end.

I doubt we’ll see a return, and fervently hope its the last we see of the Princess. Perhaps she’ll snag a desperate footballer, and turn into a WAG.

Lets leave the last word to Nikki: ‘I thought, when I got this seriesm that I would get nice jobs that would help me learn how to do a working day… … but its been ghastly’

Can’t argue with that.

This article was written by Lynne Goulden, one of our contributors at Unreality TV. Check out Lynne’s own X Factor journal here.

Dear Danny (series producer)

I hated Princess Nikki when it started. I thought it was a feeble premise for a single show, let alone a whole series, and with a starkly unlikeable ’star’.

However, Tabby and I watched Wednesday night’s show and actually started to enjoy it. For the first time, we actually felt some sympathy for Nikki, I don’t know if it was the news about Pete, the situations she was in or the fact that we were drunk. But we enjoyed the show, that’s the main thing.

However, the ‘mucking out’ theme has been done to death. Surely at this rate Nikki will be unblocking airplane toilets at 30,000 feet within the next few weeks.

So, can we please have something a bit different? Put her in a rock band (not Daddy Fantastic though), maybe a stint in a ‘caring’ profession like nurse of midwife. Something. Anything. But no more poo please.

I’m asking our readers to finish off this post with their suggestions for possible jobs for Nikki. We hope this helps.

Yours sincerely
Brad Mullet
Reality TV Correspondent

PS: Next time you confront Nikki at 6AM, I’d consider having someone on standby with a tranquiliser dart. I was genuinely concerned for your safety. Thankfully, no producers were hurt in the filming of that episode!