If you do, and if you’d been at a recent charity auction to bid on that hour, you’d have paid a princely £19,000 for the pleasure.

Simon and his business partner Sir Philip Green – along with a whole host of other celebrities – auctioned an hour of their time, the proceeds of which will go to their favourite charities.

Sir Philip’s pledged hour sold for £18,000 so Simon’s ego will be surely quite appeased that his hour raised more…

The lucky bidder of an hour with The Cowell was Universal Music boss, Lucian Grainge but no news has yet been forthcoming about what he’ll be doing with Simon for his hour…

I know what I’d be doing with him…

What would you do if you’d won an hour with Simon? Would you have him clean your loo? Dig your garden? Force him to drive around in your Robin Reliant? Let us know!

Singing sensation Hayley Westenra has told the PA that she thinks Simon Cowell would “slate” her if she turned up for an X Factor audition.

“I don’t know how I’d have fared on a reality show” Hayley said, adding, “I think Simon Cowell would have slated me.

“You have to be a certain type of singer and have a certain type of appeal.”

Hayley went on to say that although she wouldn’t want to have to be on the show – as a contestant – it has produced some “genuine talent”

“A lot people can run down these shows but they can bring up a lot of good talent.

“There’s a lot of great talent out there and it can be hard to find an opportunity to get noticed.”

Hayley spoke of her X Factor audition fears as she performed on the Children in Need charity album, Bandaged Together, with Any Dream Will Do winner Lee Mead and Sir Terry Wogan.

X Factor boss Simon Cowell has admitted that he is getting fed up with the feuds and arguments between the judges on this year’s series.

The Daily Star reports that Simon told his fellow judges that he wants them to concentrate less on themselves and more on their acts.

The newspaper quoted Simon as saying:

“We did have a pep talk. We need to dig a bit deeper and give a little more to the show and the talent.

“It was time to bang a few heads together, tell them they need a rocket up their backsides.”

A show insider added: “He made his feelings very clear. He’s been unhappy with some aspects of this year’s show.”

X Factor twins John and Edward Grimes, will reportedly incorporate an image of Simon Cowell into their Ghostbusters routine this weekend.

An X Factor source told The Mirror: “Brian [Friedman] is working out if it is possible for Cowell to appear as a ghostly figure on stage, or whether someone can float onto the stage with a Cowell face mask on.

“The boys, dressed as Ghostbusters, will then exterminate the figure using lasers. The audience would love it and it might even bring a smile to the real Simon Cowell.”

They added: “Another idea was for Cowell to be ’slimed’ but he wouldn’t put up with that, and given that he is an executive producer on the show, he would veto that idea.

“But you can rest assured it will be another special performance from the twins. Many of the acts are doing ballads this week because of the movies theme, which means they won’t move around too much.

“That leaves Brian even more time to work with the twins and create a chaotic three-minute act.”

Former X Factor contestant Rowetta Satchell has claimed that her former mentor, Simon Cowell should be knighted.

“If he’s not a billionaire, he should be. But I think he’s giving something back and I think he should be a Sir. I do really think so, seriously,” she told The Guardian. “Services to TV, music, everything. He brought back something. Music was ageist until he came along. Pop Idol stopped at 25, you couldn’t form a girlband after 25 – there was nothing out there.

“Look at all the kids on Pop Idol, look at all the dance groups that have come out of Britain’s Got Talent – and all the dogs. Saturday nights – have you seen it when The X Factor’s not on? It’s boring.

“Do you not think he should be knighted? He will be one day surely, for all the money he gives to dogs. He gives a lot to charity, X Factor and American Idol raise a lot for charity.”

She added: “I love him, I do. I just hope he goes from strength to strength and I hope he does get his own TV channel with Sir Philip Green.”

Simon Cowell is said to have been behind the X Factor judge’s seating change last week, after he feared the panel were becoming too boring.

Dannii Minogue was not best pleased after she was told to swap seats with Louis Walsh before Saturday’s show.

A source has now told the Daily Record: “It was on Simon’s say-so. He wasn’t that happy with the show a week ago. He felt it was a bit boring and decided it needed shaking up a bit. So he opted to move Louis up the panel this week and Dannii down to the end.

“He just doesn’t think there is enough banter and interaction between the girls – they lack chemistry. It’s certainly ruffled feathers – Louis is quite relaxed about the move but Dannii was not at all happy.”

The mum of X Factor judge Simon Cowell has admitted that she wishes her son was still with his ex-girlfriend, Terri Seymour.

Simon and Terri dated for six years before they split one year ago.

Julie Cowell told new! magazine: “Terri loved Simon purely for the person he is, unlike some of the others.

“She was my favourite, but sadly Simon is married to his work!”

Julie may not like Simon’s other ex Sinitta quite so much. She accused her of lying when she said that she met Simon at the young age of 14.

Julie added: “Sinitta certainly got it wrong when she claimed she met Simon when she was 14. Simon was living at home at the time and I know she was at least 17 or 18!”

On whether Simon will ever have kids of his own Julie said:

“When he was 19, he told me he never wanted to get married. But he is so lovely with children. He’s brilliant with his nephews and nieces, but he says, ‘I’m a great uncle but I don’t think I’d be a great dad.’”

Simon Cowell has said that he isn’t nasty and evil as some people would suggest.

Simon was interviewed by a panel of children as he was celebrating his appointment as the new patron of Children’s Hospices UK.

BBC Newsbeat reports:

Cowell said: “I think one of them asked if I wore Y-fronts or boxers or something. My favourite question was at the end – ‘Why are you evil?’.

“And the answer, ‘It’s more fun than being nice’. I’ve never honestly considered myself to be nasty. Whatever people think of me genuinely is sort of irrelevant. Judging a talent show is a job, this is the real world.”

On his new appointment he said: “[I wanted to give] a little bit back. Let’s be honest, I’ve got a lot out of what I’ve done basically from support from the public.

“They’ve given me an awful lot. I have a great life, I enjoy my jobs but everything that’s happened to me has happened through public support.”

Cheryl Cole reportedly got very angry with Simon Cowell on Saturday night, after he criticised her £1500 David Koma dress.

As Cheryl was offering her judges critique when Simon Cowell told her to sit up straight before she exposed her assets to the nation. Cheryl laughed the comments off on air, but when the ad break began she belted Simon and shouted:

“Why did you do that? What did you do that for?”

A source told The Sun: “Cheryl tried to compose herself but she was furious at Simon. She felt there was no need to mention it on air – he could have waited and said something discreetly.

“But the dress was risqué. From the side you could see everything.Some of the risqué outfits just don’t work outside of a fashion shoot.

“And the show is meant to be all about the artists, not about their outfits.”

Welcome to another X Factor liveblog, nervous readers! What’s the scariest thing that can happen on this Halloween weekend, I hear you ask? Well, John and Edward surviving another week on the show.

But hey-ho, it’s rock week and my inner metaller is cringing at the prospect of some of the weaker contestants tackling songs that require passion and energy. Hi Lloyd! And on the other end of the scale, will Jamie “Token Rocker” Afro actually be able to rock? And how will Danyl “Not the nation’s favourite” Johnson emerge from the genre of sweaty, hairy dudes? Something tells me I’ll be sorry I asked

OK, ready to go? The big voiced voiceover man has spoken, we’ve ignored the usual dramatic predictions and threats from the judges, and O’Leary’s on the stage. Let’s get this thing started – and leave your comments as we go along, folks!

First comment has to be Cheryl’s dress – wow! Not sure about her choice of breast adornments, but the legs look hot! And Cheryl’s act is up first…

Joe McElderry

Joe’s worried about sounding like a rocker. And rightly so, he’s not right for rock tunes. He’s also still smarting from Simon’s comments about his Latin flair last week. Can he make this work? What’s he singing? I’m told Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey.

Oh, this is why we like Joe – his voice miht not be ‘rock powerhouse’, but he commands the song and he’s lively enough on stage to carry it. Not sure about the dancers onstage with him, they’re a bit limp, but he did a good job on what might be his weakest week. If you know what I mean. It was liked somebody had wandered off the Strictly Come Dancing set.

Dannii: I just have to say, your voice is exceptional and you are an absolute star. I loved to see you moving among the audience. Louis: I didn’t think this was going to work, because it’s a rock anthem. Simon: Whatever’s thrown at you, you do your best. It was a little bit limp and stage school in parts. The singing was excellent.

Lucie Jones

We get a lot of contradictory nonsense from the judges – Dannii says Lucie can handle this, Lucie says she can’t. Then Lucie comes out singing the bloody Sheryl Crow version of Sweet Child O Mine not the Guns N Roses version. She ramps it up a bit for the chorus, thankfully and a bit like Joe, hasn’t really got a voice suited to this stuff. She looks hot, like Avril LAvigne’s brunette alter-ego.

Louis: This week you became a rock chick, and that’s not an easy thing to do. You’re one of the most versatile, consistent and professional performers in this competition. Simon, you owe her an apology for last week. Cheryl: Tonight, I started to think Lucie could be a little Avril Lavigne. You did a great job with a tough song. Simon: The reason I didn’t like you last week was because you were boring. You’re a good singer and this is what’s frustrating me about you – you’re singing songs that are too old for you. Tonight, I take that back. You’re starting to find a direction for yourself as a relevant, teenage rock artist.

Danyl Johnson

Simon throws Danyl out first tonight rather than being his last act. Is that to give the public more time to vote for him or something? Danyl’s lost confidence, someone says he’s the most hated contestant on X Factor EVER. And there’s a violin playing in the background. Do you get the impression you’re being played, folks?

DISASTER! He starts singing Aerosmith’s Don’t Want To Miss A Thing, but completely out of tune. Ouch. He looks really uncomfortable, and his performance is rather dead-eyed. This isn’t what I was expecting. Lisa’s sitting beside me with “Awwwww”s of sympathy – has it worked? Do we see vulnerability in Danyl now? I found that whole performance really strange.

Dannii: We know how you’re feeling. It was sad to see you like you’ve lost your mojo. You hit your stride at the end of the song, but it was out of tune at the beginning. Louis: I wanna be absolutely honest with you. There’s no way you should have been in the bottom two last week. I want people at home to give you a second chance. Cheryl: I’m finding this a bit uncomfortable Danyl. You’ve had a massive dent to your confidence. You needed to come out and fight for it tonight. You just don’t do it for me. Simon: Here’s the problem – we’ve got contradictory things going on here. When he comes out confident, he’s cocky. When he tones it down, he needs to be cocky. It’s got nothing to do with being in the bottom two. You are still undoubtedly the best singer still in this competition. I genuinely hope the public vote for you this week.

Lloyd Daniels

We get a timely reminder of Louis’s comments from last week – Lloyd would be brilliant as a boyband member, but he can’t cut it on his own. Louis goes further and says he’s “coasting by on his looks” which I completely agree with.

And he’s singing Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl, but it sounds like he’s come straight from the Danyl Johnson school of tunelessness. It’s a vocal performance like you’d expect from Jedward. Ugh. OK, he’s trying a bit harder on stage, but “car crash” is the right way to describe it.

Dannii: You are the heart throb here. It was a great performance, but your voice was drowned out by the track. Louis: Lloyd, when I said I’d put you in a boyband, that was a compliment. The theme this week was rock and you sang a pop song. You cheated a little there. Simon: What was good about tonight – it was a quirky song, it made you relevant. The vocals at the start of the track were actually pretty bad. Cheryl: You took a great risk and – shut up you two – every teenage girl is gonna be wishing you were singing that about them.

Stacey Solomon

Stacey’s coasting through nicely at the moment, but we get some criticism footage of Simon calling Stacey robotic. She’s singing a Keane song, Somewhere Only We Know, but we won’t hold that against her, she’ll probably sound better than Keane!

She looks rather gorgeous as always, but she reminds me so much of  Leona Lewis, but with not quite as good vocals. Her performance suffers a little at the start too, a common problem tonight.

Louis: You’re definitely the most popular girl in this competition. I wasn’t crazy about the song choice, but I love you. Cheryl: Actually, I loved that song choice for you. The thing we love about you is your personality. Simon: It was like an X Factor miracle tonight, you walked! As I said, you haven’t moved in three weeks. I thought it was terrific, one of your best performances. Dannii: I loved your performance of that and I want to see you here next week.

Jamie Archer

Afro did a decent job last week, but he’s not happy with the quality of his performance. Louis takes his chance to lay the boot into him, reminding us that Jamie is only a pub performer. He’s recycling the old Primal Scream tune, Get Your Rocks Off, which is a great tune. Lisa comments that he’s very low in the mix, but a bit like other acts, Jamie’s just not using the stage very well. Sure, the pretty dancing girls are pleasantly distracting, but where’s the rock, Afro? Where IS THE ROCK???

In fairness, I can’t fault the performance from a vocals point of view, and he does end it on a stronger note, finally moving away from the center stage to walk around the audience. But I think Louis might be right about the pub singer thing.

Dannii: You’re in your element when you do that kind of song. I heard you were going to do a different track that would make you contemporary rather than doing an old rock song. Louis: Like I said on the VT, there’s nothing original about you, you’re like a Lenny Kravitz impersonator, and it’s not real rock. Simon: You came from that background – you wanna be a rock singer and you chose a rock song.

Rachel Adedeji

Here’s the controversial choice, Rachel Adedeji. Can she repeat last week’s victory and brilliant judge’s comments? She tells us it’s just her and a microphone. Rachel’s doing a version of U2’s One tonight. The dress is a tad garish, but she’s stuck with the softer, hair-down look. I like the performance though, she builds the song up to a great climax, and her voice holds strong the whole way through. Well done!

Louis: Incredible song choice. It was very emotional, soulful, the most emotional performance of the entire night. Cheryl: That was a very clever song choice. You got to show the soul in your voice. I think your voice is my favourite of all the girls and you deliver every week. Simon: Rachel, I liked the last third of the song, where I had a slight issue is that Dannii tried to turn you into her with the hair and the dress. I just felt that your whole look made the song a bit cabaret. Dannii: Rachel that was an amazing performance. You just allowed yourself to be vulnerable. It’s just about your voice.

John and Edward

There’s no avoiding this bit. There’s no denying these two are a walking disaster. But we’re beyond trying to get people to see sense. They’re no going to take any risks, there’s not going to be any ‘real’ rock. They’re singing 5ive’s version of Queen’s We Will Rock You, not a song that requires much singing. If Louis can keep them to football-chant quality songs, they’ll persevere. And it’s obvious that they haven’t a clue about the lyrics to the song. However, all the shiny stage props and backing dancers will make people forget how bad they are!

Dannii: Boys! It is Halloween and that was quite scary. I do look forward to seeing you every week, but I’m not sure I’d look forward to hearing you on the radio. Cheryl: You definitely dressed for the occassion. Yeah, I felt like I was rockin to that song. Simon: It was night of the living dead singing Queen out of tune, possibly destroying Queen’s career forever. You cannot defend that singing tonight Louis. Louis: The audience love them, they’re energetic, they’re entertaining and they’re exciting.

Olly Murs

Not sure if Olly can pull off a rock song, to be honest. This has been a difficult week for everybody, and kinda shows that rock acts have to work harder to satisfy an audience. Louis and Dannii both think that Olly is going to topple on this song. I’m biting my nails…

Ah, but it’s alright, it’s a pussy of a song, Come Together by The Beatles. Great song, but hardly requiring major singing chops. I’m loving the trippy background visuals though. It ain’t rock, but like Joe McElderry before him, it’s just a good performance – the vocals are fine…argh too much nipple. Put it away Murs!!!

Dannii: I have to say I absolutely adore you. The moves get better every week, the vocals are consistent. Louis: You keep getting better every time we see you. I think you’re in the final three. Cheryl: You’re definitely the most progressed contestant each week. You come into yourself more and more each week. In this atmosphere, the shirt opening kinda worked. Simon: You are progressing better than just about anybody right now. You’ve got confidence, you’re learning how to perform. I’m very very proud of you Olly.

Phew – that was a good night for some contestants and a bad week for others. Stand by, as always, for our X Factor chart for who we thought were the winners and losers tonight.