Oh the horror! Last night was the last episode of the Family, but what a lovely one it was!

The episode opened with Jane doing some cleaning at the weekend, but Simon wanted to go out. Jane was having none of it, despite the fact that Simon pointed out she was off all week and therefore could clean then. Still, she wasn’t being convinced and pointed out that she was getting root canal work done and shopping for wedding dresses on Monday. Both prospects brought sympathetic groans from Simon.

Their eldest daughter Jess was getting married to partner Pat – who’s a babe by the way – and so preparations were in full swing in the Hughes household. There was much plotting as to where the marquee should go and how much glue to apply to the invitation envelopes.

In one scene, where Jane and Jess were busy gluing important things, Pat had the audacity to tell Jess that their baby, Ruby, needing feeding, and in a mother-like-daughter moment, she harshly pointed out that she was in the middle of gluing and couldn’t feed a baby and glue all at once.

Pat has evidently learned that taking the line of least resistance is most likely to ensure a person keeps his head on his shoulders so he retreated to the living room to entertain the baby while Jess and Jane had a quiet moan about the general stupidity of the men in their lives.

Then, when Jane arrived home one evening, the supermarket had delivered the weekly shop and despite the fact that all three of the Hughes children were in the house, the majority of the shopping was unpacked and still sitting in the kitchen. Charlotte was on the computer and the phone simultaneously, Tom was watching telly and Emily was in bed. Jane soon roused the troops as she angrily demanded to know why the shopping hadn’t been put away.

“Dad told me to leave the meat out” Charlotte defensively told her mum, which didn’t actually explain why most of the shopping was still sitting in bags. The tension passed relatively quickly however and next, it was Jane and Simon’s wedding anniversary.

He’d bought her a beautiful necklace and she’d bought him ‘joke underpants’; he wasn’t impressed. She realised she’d made a gaffe when Simon’s voice became high-pitched; he pointed out that she knows he doesn’t like joke underpants, but he tried to make out he was pleased with the card that went with them.

However, talk soon turned to the wedding again. Simon really wanted it to be as inexpensive as possible but Jane just wanted it to be perfect for their daughter so when she was telling Simon how beautiful Jess looked in the dresses she tried on, she tried – and failed – to hide the fact that the dress was likely to cost ‘over budget’ kind of money.

And while Jessica and Pat were about to embark on married life, Simon and Jane have been together for nearly 25 years and Jane wants to renew their vows on the anniversary of that landmark number… primarily because she saw a dress she really liked while wedding dress shopping.

She did her best to persuade Simon that it was a good idea but he pointed out that it was unecessary; Jane knows he loves her but she replied that their own wedding wasn’t all it could have been.

“It wasn’t the best” she said, to which Simon replied, “What do you mean? You got to spend the rest of your life with me.”

But romance was well and truly in the air and Simon and Jane’s love for each other shone through, much to the embarrassment of youngest daughter Charlotte who looked like she was going to be sick when Jane and Simon were kissing. “Can you actually stop that? Dad’s the grossest one. Stop it. Why are you doing that?” she complained.

For the first time, the cameras followed the Hugheses outside of the family home as everyone pulled together to put the finishing touches to the marquee in the garden where the reception would be held. There was much weeding of the patio area and then Jane used the Dyson to hoover up the grass that Simon had left on the steps. Then, a carpet was laid and tables, chairs and tableware were all shipped in, as well as buckets of lovely flowers.

In the meantime, there was a small row over what suit Pat was to wear with the poor guy trying to get a word in edgeways and not suceeding. Tom did his best to act like a three year old thoughout this family gathering to pick suits and Jane eventually had to yell at him to stop throwing things around and stop gripping her head and covering her face. I worry about Tom…

Anyway, when the big day arrived, the girls went off for a marathon hair and make-up session and when Simon saw Jessica in her wedding dress for the first time, he was moved to tears.

“You look like a film star” he told her.

After the ups and downs of the last few months, the atmosphere was very emotional as the Hughes family celebrated Jessica and Pat’s big day. It all went without a hitch in the end and despite the fact that I thought the vicar hurried through the vows, I was crying like a girl throughout.

At the reception in the garden, Simon and Pat both made moving speeches while a proud Jane looked on from underneath a rather stunning hat.

Simon remarked that he hadn’t lost a daughter, he’d “gained an electrician.”

The episode ended with Simon and Jane canoodling in a corner and sipping pink champagne. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I’m devastated that the series is over, however, we can still get a fix of The Family via a new spin-off series entitled, Teen Stories. It’s in 15 parts and focusses on family life from the teen perspective.

Does the mess in 19 year old Emily’s room represent a lack of respect for her parents or is it her own private space to do with as she pleases?

17 year old Charlotte is feeling the pressure of being the academic in the family but it torn between leaving school to follow in her sister’s footsteps or staying to get her exams.

At 14, is it up to Tom what time he goes to bed or should his parents decide? Focusing on the teen Hugheses, this series explores a range of issues faced by young people today, from sibling rivalry and school stress, to parental boundaries and leaving home. It also includes additional insights and comment from a panel of British teens.

The Family: Teen Stories is on Channel 4, Monday to Friday at 11.30am from 3rd November 2008. It’ll also be on 4OD for those of us who can’t watch at that time of the day.

If you’re really desperate for more Hughes action, you can go to http://www.channel4.com/health/the-family/ and see previously unseen footage as well as ‘backstage’ clips.

Thanks for the memories Hugheses; you’ve made Wednesdays so much more fun!

This intimate portrait of family life concludes with the wedding of Jessica to her fiancé Pat. As Jessica and Pat tie the knot, Simon and Jane reflect on their own marriage. Their affection shines through, to youngest daughter Charlotte’s horror: “Can you actually stop that? Dad’s the grosser one. Stop it. Why are you doing that?”

For the first time cameras follow the Hughes’ outside the family home as everyone pulls together to put the finishing touches to the stunning marquee. When Simon sees Jessica for the first time he is moved to tears: “You look like a film star.”

How relieved Emily must be to have not been the focus of someone’s wrath for ten minutes! Last night, it was Tom who was the bad seed of the Hughes family with his mini-rebellion regarding having a pierced ear. Not only was Emily not the bad child for a while, she also had the opportunity to side with her parents and berate someone else; it must have been like a holiday for her! She didn’t escape entirely though because Simon’s still on at her to get a better job and keep ‘normal’ hours, and as Emily has a prospective new boyfriend on the horizon, there was plenty for him to tease her about.

However, as mentioned, Tom was the focus of last night’s show because he turned up with a ridiculous dice earring in his ear. He obviously loved it but to be fair, he did look silly. He looked like a human VW Beetle because as far as I know, they are the only things that still have anything dice-like adorning them. Anyway, needless to say, it went down like a lead balloon and became a battle of wills and a rather tense face-off between Simon and Tom as to who was going to win the battle of the pierced ear.

Initially, it was Charlotte who discovered that Tom had had his ear pierced and she then told Emily who was suitably horrified, but you could see the glee on her face at the thought of what her mum and dad were going to say and do. Tom told Emily that he’d pierced his ear himself and she replied ‘are you mad?’ She later followed that up with dire warnings about the possibility of a painful death from septicaemia.

Then it was time for Tom to tell Jane about it, and she was not a happy camper. He was already getting on her nerves with his pleading to be allowed to go to a different school – which she refused, telling him he just needed to learn to accept authority and do as he’s told – so when he broke the news about his ear furniture, I wasn’t sure whether she hid her face in her hands to hide tears or her exasperation, but either way, she wasn’t pleased. Tom was obviously hoping to get her on side and clearly wanted her to break the news to Simon, but she was having none of it. Instead, Tom was left to pace his room, the stairs and the hallway waiting to hear the dreaded key in the lock.

However, Simon didn’t come home in time so that meant that the confrontation was going to have to happen the next morning… in theory. When morning came however, it seemed Tom had chickened out and decided that the anticipated row could wait until later so as he was getting ready for school, he very obtrusively kept his hand or his hood over his ear, hoping that his dad wouldn’t have any clue as to why. What Tom didn’t know was that Jane had already told Simon about it, so he wasn’t at all surprised when Tom refused to go within ten feet of him that morning.

A little sub-story was running too because Ziggy the cat had gone AWOL. Last seen, his little black body was heading out of the cat-flap but he hadn’t been back in for his dinner and Simon was getting worried. He was the only one who noticed that Ziggy wasn’t around and enlisted Charlotte to help look for him. She exhaustively searched for Ziggy, and by ‘exhaustively searched’, I mean she put her head out of the front door and called him. It didn’t bring the feline member of the Hughes family instantly running so she went back inside and the mystery of his whereabouts persisted.

Later, when Simon got in from work that night and over dinner, the subject of the earring was finally publicly aired. Tom protested that it’s his body, his ear and he should be allowed to do what he wants with it. Simon batted back that he hadn’t asked permission to do it and Jane – for once – agreed that he should’ve asked first. In a return volley, Tom said that the girls had been allowed to have pierced ears so why shouldn’t he. Simon scored what he considered to be an ace by saying that they are girls and Tom isn’t. Unfortunately, he then tripped up badly by remarking about Emily’s tattoos to which Tom replied that at least he could take his earring out and it would heal up, but Emily’s scarred for life. That, in his eyes, made what he did better than what Emily had done, but Simon wasn’t taking any prisoners…

The next day – with Ziggy still absent by the way – Simon ordered Tom to remove the earring. For a few rather squirmy minutes, it seemed Tom was going to totally defy his dad and refuse, but after a great deal of intense eye contact and I’m Staying Calm And Reasonable banter from Simon, Tom took out the earring. However, he wasn’t going to give up that easily and at the first opportunity, he ran back to get it, put it back in his ear and was out of the door, all at a slightly faster speed than sound travels.

He was of course caught out and worse yet, he’d been sent home from school with a letter about his behaviour. Oh dear. Jane was conspicuously absent during the showdown about both his behaviour at school and his defiance over the earring, and as most often happens, Simon was left to deal with it all. He and Tom sat in the living room and Simon asked Tom to explain what was going on at school and also why he’d put the earring in again when he’d been told to leave it out. Tom’s responses were typical teenager stuff; the teacher’s just hate him, they’re too strict, they make up stuff about him that he didn’t even do and generally, just enjoy making his life a misery. He wisely chose to focus on his unreasonable teachers rather than the earring debacle.

Simon decided to go with the I’m-On-Your-Side-Honest-I-Am approach, as was indicated by his use of swear words in the conversation. It seems to be an unwritten rule with teenagers but if you want them to really listen to you, it invariably means including swear words. It’s supposed to indicate some camaraderie in that the application of a few naughty words gives the thing an ‘us against them’ theme.

By the end of the talk, father and son were best mates again and Tom had been forced to see the error of his ways while Simon felt that treating the situation as if he was on Tom’s side – but had to be a grown-up and give lip service to grown-up things – seemed to have worked and a temporary peace descended.

Then, Ziggy turned up. He was greeted happily by Simon and Jane but nobody else seemed to be too bothered that he’d turned up. His whereabouts for the missing days may never be known, but he seemed none the worse for his adventure.

So will Tom win and keep his earring or will Simon triumph and Tom will be earringless? Will Emily manage to stay under the radar or will she soon be back in trouble? And when is Charlotte going to be the one causing angst again? Check back next week when we’ll have the answers to many of these questions!

This intimate portrait of family life continues with 14-year-old Tom flexing his adolescent muscles and locking horns with the other man in the house: his dad. When Tom starts wearing an earring, Simon confronts him.

Simon and Jane both argue that he should have asked them first. With the row about the earring simmering at home, Tom then gets into trouble at school, prompting a letter to dad Simon. Simon sits down with his son, explaining that answering back at school is making things worse. Will Tom see his dad’s point of view? Or will he continue to rebel against authority?

This show is the highlight of my week and tonight, Simon takes on the role of peace-maker when Jane complains that Emily has been stealing her clothes. Before long, a lock is put on Jane and Simon’s bedroom door, which stops both Emily’s pilfering and access to the only bathroom in the house.

Jonathan Smith’s intimate portrait of family life continues with mum Jane and dad Simon locked in a battle of wills with headstrong daughter Emily. As dawn creeps into the Hughes household, so does Emily, returning home after another night out on the town. But all the partying seems to be taking its toll, not just on Emily but on the rest of the family. During one argument, Tom notes that Emily has “gone into major angry mode” while Jane expresses the exasperation of mothers everywhere when she complains that her daughter “doesn’t take any notice of me”.

With her job looking like it’s come to an end, Emily takes time to reassess her life. In a moment of self doubt, she breaks down in tears and asks her father: “What am I doing? What am I doing with my life?” One of the things she isn’t doing, according to her parents, is pulling her weight around the house, and that, combined with another all-night disappearance, ratchets up the tension between mum and daughter. And the problems between Jane and Emily are affecting the rest of the house. “Is it ok for her to be so rude and aggressive all the time?” Jane asks Simon. “And stop standing up for her… you keep giving in to her all the time. It’s not ok and it’s not teaching her anything.” Can mum and dad restore peace without having to take the ultimate sanction: showing Emily the door?

Wednesday 15 October 2008, Channel 4 9PM

Researchers have said that a daily dose of reality TV helps bust stress and improve concentration according to The Sun. I knew there had to be a reason why I am such a laid back, easygoing, yet focused sort of person!

The newspaper reports that shows like Big Brother, X Factor and The Family (which I watch on an almost daily basis by the way!) were found to improve social interaction (it’s all that water cooler chat) and reduce stress levels.

The study also suggested that watching comedies helped people to feel more relaxed, but current affairs shows increased anxiety. A group of psychologists studied TV viewing habits for Virgin Media and concluded that viewers’ diet of programmes should be balanced just like food.

They claimed it should be 20 per cent reality TV, five per cent factual shows, 35 per cent comedy, 15 per cent sport, 15 per cent soaps and ten per cent drama.

So today I will aim for one episode of Strictly then one X factor, half an hour of ITV news, a few Friends repeats and possibly an old Will and Grace, some Corrie that I recorded last night and lastly the latest Merlin episode. I know I have missed out a sports programme, but I just can’t fit anymore in to one night’s TV viewing!

Poor Simon… I say it every week but it’s worth saying again; poor Simon.

On last night’s show, Valentine’s Day was looming, but the atmosphere was far from loving in the Hughes household. Simon was, as ever, exasperated by the kids behaviour and he wasn’t impressed with Jane either who he still feels isn’t being supportive enough.

Emily is still going out and partying at all hours, dressed in what amounts to dental floss and sequins and 14-year-old Tom is being more irritating by the day. On last night’s episode, Tom had a friend over and as teenagers are wont to do, decided to show off in front of his friend by being rude to Simon. He repeatedly told him to shut up, to get out and then nearly got into a physical brawl over computer games, and whilst Tom’s behaviour was without doubt unacceptable – he’d be minus a head on his shoulders if he was mine – being told to “go play outside” when he’s nearly 15 was odd.

Jane didn’t take kindly to Tom being sent out and had a go at Simon because she didn’t want Tom “wandering around when I don’t know where he is”. She then told Simon he’d been an “ars*hole” all day. She later tried to call a small truce when she wandered into the living room and asked if Simon thought it was cold. He seemed to take this as some kind of personal insult though and frostily implied she should light the fire if she was cold. There was something about his tone that you had to hear to understand what I mean, but he was taking no prisoners that night.

Tom had something of a psycho episode when he stood in the kitchen with a large knife and described for the cameras how he would scalp Simon and carve obsenitites into his brain. Kinda worrying…

Then when Emily arrived home in the early hours and yet again woke Simon, the blue touch paper was lit and he went a tad nuclear. He took it upon himself to tidy Emily’s room and by tidy, I mean throw all her stuff into black bin bags and dump them outside. “It’s the small things that pi** you off enough to throw you over the edge” he shouted as he unplugged the nearest camera and then the next, and then the next so that he could have a row with Jane in private…

When the cameras were functioning again, we saw that Simon had bought an orchid and a card for Jane for Valentine’s day, and she’d bought him a tub of Marmite with the words, ‘I love you’ on the label. Charlotte made a card for Simon which he was clearly quite touched by but could only watch wistfully as his daughter shot out of the house and went off with her friends with nary a goodbye for her dad.

He later made a meal for Jane and ordered Tom to go into their bedroom for the evening to watch TV while he and Jane had some time alone. However, as they were listening to Barry White and other musical monstrosities, Emily came tearing down the stairs and was nearly out of the door when Simon called her back. It was past 11pm and in his I’m-being-reasonable voice, he asked why she must go out at that time of night… again.

Within seconds he was in full flow but Emily’s friends were waiting outside and were ringing her to hurry her up. Simon wasn’t pleased about that and went outside to challenge these friends… a small altercation ensued on the dark lawn with Emily telling Simon how embarassing he was being and eventually, off she went.

Jane meanwhile was sitting in the dining room, alternately with her head in her hands then trying on some paper rose-coloured-glasses which she joked about with Simon when he came in which broke the tension somewhat.

As we left the Hughes family last night, a fragile peace had settled for the night but will it last? I very much doubt it.

Director Jonathan Smith’s intimate portrait of family life continues with mum Jane and dad Simon clashing over their teenage children’s behaviour. Feeling unsupported in his attempts to discipline the children, Simon is near the end of his tether and taking it out on everybody; perhaps not the best preparation for a relaxing Valentine’s Day. Will the smile return to his face in time for a romantic meal for two with Jane?

Wednesday 8 October 2008, Channel 4

Well, it had to happen sometime and it happened last night; Tom’s halo finally slipped and nearly strangled him as he and Emily got into a scuffle and he annoyed his dad so much, he had his new bedtime privileges suspended.

Now, I don’t know whether me and my family are the weird ones, but I felt that for a boy of fourteen – nearly fifteen – Tom acts, and is treated like, a boy of about eleven. Is it just me or do you feel the same? Let us know because I’d be really interested if it’s just me who thinks so. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing – kids grow up way too fast – but I did think it a bit odd.

However, he has many attributes common to fourteen year olds though; being tired all day because he’s playing on his computer all night, being moody, being sullen… it’s a commonplace thing with boys his age, and Simon amused me no end when he said that Tom had become an ‘invertebrate’ and was incapable of sitting or standing straight.

Anyway, moving on and Simon was as ever trying his best to rule his roost and he puts me in mind of that saying, ‘the meek will inherit the earth… if that’s ok with the rest of you?’ He tries hard, he clearly loves his family very much but he gets absolutely no support from Jane at all who I think would just let everyone do their own thing if she could get away with it.

You have to applaud the guy for trying though but there are times when he’s just overwhelmed and clearly doesn’t quite know what to do. It was funny to watch him berating his family for not helping him to put dinner on the table and for having the radiator set to 27° and no matter how stern he tried to sound, the entire family dissolved into giggles at his Victor Meldrew-esque rant.

However, Tom was the primary focus of last night’s show and the debacle over his bedtime, which he refused to adhere to. Anyone who’s got teenagers will be able to empathise with the frustration of trying to prise a tired teenager out of bed for school when they’ve been up half the night on their computer games; it’s annoying and leads to endless rows, one of which was between Emily and Tom last night.

Simon and Jane decided to go out – foolishness in the extreme because the parents of teenagers never get any peace – and left Emily in charge. Again, foolhardiness to hand power to one sibling over another and chaos ensued. Emily tried to enforce the 9.30pm bedtime and Tom was having none of it. He went to the loo at snail’s pace, checked out the ‘fridge at snail’s pace and went up the stairs so slowly that most snails would have beaten him to it.

Emily was right behind him and decided to pull rank. She stomped into his room and said she was taking his Wii console out so that he couldn’t play on it which infuriated Tom and a scuffle broke out, during which Emily hit her head on the top bunk. She cried, he apologised – grudgingly – but then she decided to take his Playstation too which really lit the blue touch paper. He yelled at her, she yelled at him, they pushed and shoved and Tom went flying into a radiator.

Emily hurried downstairs to phone dad, clutching both games consoles, and Tom tried several times to knock the phone out of her hand, however, she did get through to dad and he said he’d deal with it when he got home. He spoke to Tom and without giving him a chance to put his case, ordered him to bed.

When Simon and Jane came home, Emily tried to put her side of the story and made Tom out to be some kind of psychopath while she’d just been trying to help. Simon however told her that she’d been overbearing and abused the fact that she’d been left in charge; cue tears and a stomp up the stairs. Jane kept repeating, ‘Can we leave it now?’ and despite her trying really hard to hide behind a newspaper, Simon wanted her to back him up. She didn’t.

The next day saw ‘the meeting’ about it get underway while Emily and Tom were eating. Simon and Jane sat at the table and without asking what happened – very wisely – Simon issued certain directives at Tom including that his later bedtime of 10pm had been revoked and that he wouldn’t have his games consoles back for a week. Simon told him, “We trusted that you would act like the young man you want to be whose bedtime is at 10 o’clock.”

When Simon left a rather disinterested Jane no choice but to get dragged into it, she said that both Emily and Tom can be aggressive and that it must stop. Throughout, both kids said nothing but if Tom’s looks could kill, everyone would’ve died there and then. Jane suggested that Emily and Tom apologise to each other which they both pretty much ignored but Emily did say that she’d consider it, but only when she felt like it. Fun times.

The last few minutes of the programme showed that Tom and Emily had made up and were play-fighting and hugging, followed by a family dance session in the living room. The show ended with Jane and Simon ‘dirty dancing’ to a Bob Marley track. I wonder if they were able to turn the cameras off that night?

Another excellent peek behind someone else’s net curtains; roll on the next installment!