The News Of The World is running with a shocking story today, claiming that Apprentice candidate Lorraine Tighe is a swinger.

Shocking not because of the actual swinging, but more because there is more than one person in the world who would bed the long faced depressing one.

Lorraine admitted to pals that even her boyfriend told her that she was the most plain woman he had ever been with and a friend of mine recently compared her to the female equivalent of Channel 4 comedian, Alan Carr, which I thought was particularly insightful.

On The Apprentice: You’re Fired last Wednesday a panel member compared Lorraine to the dementors from the Harry Potter movies. Dementors are soul sucking creatures who sense and feed on the positive emotions, happiness and good memories of human beings. Sound familiar? Would you want a threesome with that? Scary biscuits!