The One And Only: No Knickers For Tom Jones
BBC killjoys have banned members of the The One And Only audience, from throwing knickers at Tom Jones lookalike, Simon Abbotts.
The bosses are said to be worried that Simon may trip on a pair of knickers whilst performing, but his family think it’s health and safety gone mad!
His mum Val told The Sun: “We were a bit disappointed. It’s health and safety gone mad. For as long as he’s been impersonating Tom, Simon’s never once slipped up on any stray item of underwear.”
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I for one am outraged! Are the BBC trying to take the ‘razz-ma-tazz’ out of the competition? I spoke to Simon just after he’d heard and he said “By gum, this is a kick in th’ goolies. I’d been collecting them Timmy Tickers to make a nice hanky. Oh fetch me a cup o’ bovril”
This is outrageous claim Sir Andy. For I spoke to said gentlemen a mere 2 hours ago whilt we enjoyed a hearty supper and he said, “It is a bitter blow not to receive lady’s bloomer’s in thy face, as a thespian I thrive on the audience reaction and those dastedly swine’s at the BBC are denying me thespian rights, damnation I exclaim.”