FOS, a nice, pink, calm forum in the middle of the internet. What? Calm? How did that sneak in the list? Well, we’ll never know, same as they’ll never know calm, the place is crawling with shimonites. Y’all know what shimonites are, right?Those people who obsess over the relationship that Sharon Osbourne and Simon Cowell may or may not be engaging in. Can be seen on the official X Factor forum, screaming “OMGGGG AHHHHH they are SOOOOO SHAGGING *dies*.

I personally first noticed shimon just before Season two began, when those pictures of them (and Louis, boo) began springing up in the papers of them having dinner, nothing unusual about that I hear you cry, well, if you’ve seen the pictures you’ll remember a little thing…they kissed!! On the lips and everything!! And so they’d gone from hating each other, to snogging outside a restaurant, in a matter of months. Well, I suppose they had a lot of time to, uhm, ‘make up’ during those months.

3 months later, on October 29th 2005, snogging again, on live TV after Andy Abraham had performed ‘Unforgetable’, which is obviously what the kiss was to Simon, as on the 28th October 2006, as near as darn it to the one year anniversary, he kissed her on live TV again. 3 kisses? Insanity? No, there’s more. At the auditions he kissed her in front of Terri, his girlfriend, it is slightly less spectacular, as it was only a cheek kiss, but then again he could hardly shove his tongue down her throat while in the company of his insignificant other, can he? Here I am, almost overlooking a great moment at the 2005 British Comedy Awards, yep, you guessed it, another kiss. I cant quite decide if thanking Sharons boobs, and then planting a kiss on them qualifies as a kiss, or a random molesting moment, but either way I call it fabulous. About the shimonites? Yep, you guessed it…*dies*!

You don’t have to rack your brains hard to think of numerous fabulous other Shimon moments, such as that time Sharon cried and Simon wiped away her tears, or during the auditions phase 2006, when Sharons house caught fire, and he loaned her his plane to take her back home, and who can forget live show 5, where Sharon tried to ‘milk’ Simon, and then pleaded tiredness the following day, rather than just admitting the truth…she badly wanted to shag him. Shag him again, that should be, as during Battle of the Stars I do recall a little conversation between Ben and Sharon, “I just said Simon might need to give her a bunk up, but he’s not interestedâ€?

“Oh he’s already done it, that’s old news, old old news.â€?

Really, Mrs Osbourne, what if your husband had been watching?
On recent interviews in the USA, promoting her autobiography, Extreme, numerous TV hosts have heard Sharon mention how she loves him, and infact in her book she writes “It was Simon Cowell who made my TV career in the UK possible�. Awh, must be love.

The one thing I love about Shimon though, is how they obviously do care for each other, and although I and many others adore their banter, it’s the moments of affection that really make me proud to be a shimonite, the looks, the lingering touches, the obvious concern, such as at the semi final 2006, when Sharon was crying and Simon leaned and asked if she were ok, and of course the swaying to the winners singles, with their arms around each other looking like a real couple.
Anyway, enough with the gushing, oh wait, it’s a shimonites job to gush over them, and proclaim how fabulous an Osbourne-Cowell wedding would be, with the only dilemma being weather the first dance should be to Leonas “A Moment Like This� or Shaynes “That’s My Goal�, I would recommend that after reading this, should you agree you pop over to FOS, and check out the pictures and clips, and of course the internet-wide hyperness, and join us for season 4.
Written by Lally (dedicated Shimonite, and FOS member)