Dear Unreality TV: My friends love Wagner on this year’s X Factor, but I can’t stand him. And they keep voting for him! But isn’t that putting the good contestants at risk? Should I ditch them for voting for the worst act?
It’s tempting to say that you should cut your friends off without a second thought. Wagner is a hideous abomination, but unfortunately he’s this year’s Jedward.
If your friends are voting for Wagner to give two fingers to Simon Cowell, they’re making a big mistake. Cowell’s cleverer than your dicky mates. He knows there’s a vote for the worst movement out there, and he knows they’ll campaign to keep him in the competition.
But how do these groups keep their novelty act on the show? They have to vote for him! And who profits from the text votes? Simon Bloody Cowell, that’s who.
Why do you think Simon’s not throwing nasty comments at Wagner? Because the phone votes from Wagner’s fans are paying for the new east wing on his LA mansion. Therefore, your friends are morons. But you probably already know that.
As for Wagner keeping ‘good’ acts out of the show, well that’s just silly. Can you really imagine Paije Richardson or Katie Waissel as future A-Listers? Did the pop industry really suffer when Diva Fever got kicked out? Let’s be real here – can you see Wagner and One Direction in the bottom two and Simon saving Wagner? Can you see Matt Cardle or Rebecca Ferguson losing out to him? No. It’ll never happen.
So, sit your mates down and explain that you’re writing their Wagner fixation off as temporary insanity. Like Katie Waissel, he’s a great promotional vehicle for the show – the tabloids love him. But he’s a flash in the pan, and we’ll all just have to be patient and wait for his time to come. Hope this puts your mind at rest!
The Unreality TV Agony Aunt
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