Tonight’s X Factor chart, when we look back on it, makes it look bad for the old folks – ALL of Dannii Minogue’s acts are at the bottom this week. For a mentor who’s frequently in the dance charts, you’d think she’d have an appreciation of disco music. Apparently not.

On the other hand, we’ve rated ALL of Cheryl Cole’s acts right at the top. Those girls are destined for pop stardom! Let’s look at the Unreality TV judging panel’s comments…

1. Laura White – After a fairly so-so- performance last week, Laura blew us all away with a stunning vocal performance, and a pretty good dance routine too. Those opening notes had us all stunned.
2. Alexandra Burke – Alex was slightly weaker on vocals tonight, but we can forgive that because of the fantastic performance the girl gave.  Alex always looks fantastic, and tonight she looks every bit the professional pop star.
3. Diana Vickers -  We all thought Diana would struggle on a disco number, but a combination of fantastic song choice and astounding vocals won through, showing how versatile she is. Lost points in our opinion because she sat down throughout most of the performance.
4. JLS – I think this is the highest JLS have scored in our weekly chart. They finally got it right and showed us all what the fuss was all about. They totally leaped over all the other boys in the competition!
5. Eoghan Quigg – Eoghan delivered a rather average vocal performance, but the dance routine and the little bit of interplay with the female dancer was wonderful.
6. Austin Drage – Mr Drage (I’m sorry, but each week I’m tempted to write D’rage) didn’t totally impress us this week. He was overshadowed by his backing dancers, and the vocals weren’t great. This was backed up by the fact that Simon almost seemed to be apologising for him by ‘hoping the public would keep him in the competition next week’.
7. Ruth Lorenzo – Poor Ruth seemed totally lost in her song tonight, and left us a little underwhelmed. She also got shafted on the costume choice, a rather bland, unflattering affair. I really hope she survives tonight, because she’s the best of Dannii’s acts.
8. Daniel Evans – After saving Daniel last week, Louis was the first in line to stab him in the back tonight. And if you needed any further evidence as to how generic Daniel is, you got it tonight. Time for Mr Nice Guy to leave the competition?
9. Rachel Hylton – We have some sympathy for Rachel – she opened the show with a good song, but as the night progressed, she got overshadowed by the others. At this stage of the competition, I think Rachel’s chances are running out.

Tonight’s Special Prizes

• The Kerry Katona Award for incoherent comments: Miss Dannii Minogue for making absolutely no sense in her comments to Diana, and telling Daniel Evans his voice ‘sitted’ well on his song.
• The Yummy Mummy award for mostly newly knocked up presenter: Xtra Factor presenter, Holly Willoughby
• The “Please Shut Up Louis” award: Goes to Louis Walsh for his endlessly annoying baiting of Simon Cowell. How juvenile. Please Shut Up Louis.
• The “has she got PMT” award for most aggressive judge: Cheryl Cole, who genuinely looked like she was going to knock out anyone who dared to speak out against her acts tonight.

So, who will go tonight? We’re going to find out shortly, but let us know in the comments who your favourites were…