The X Factor 2012: Club Classics Disaster Week! Top 11 Chart
After the glimmer of hope offered by last week’s incredible week X Factor live performances, Club Classics week was D.I.R.E. One of our followers on Twitter even tweeted “Just aged years watching that cr*p!”
And while nobody was horribly out of tune – probably for fear of a good beating from Gary Barlow – the interpretation of “Club Classics” currently floating around Fountain Studios seems to be “take a great dance tune and slow it down to a crawl”. So what should have been a night of blisteringly great dancefloor anthems became a guided tour through Dullsville as the X Factor contestants turned Dance into Depressing.So, how did we rate the acts tonight? It wasn’t easy. And we even gave ourselves a headache trying, readers. But heroically, we always deliver the goods. And here they are:
- Ella Henderson – You’ve Got The Love: Ella’s usual levels of brilliance were in full effect tonight, but the Club Classics theme actually worked in her favour, displaying a different side to her personality and talent. I thought she came across as really sassy and her voice was throaty and powerful on this Florence And The Machine track.
- James Arthur – Sexy And I Know It: Interestingly, an X Factor USA contestant, Cece Frey performed a very similar version of Sexy And I Know It. Cross-Atlantic plagiarism aside, James gave a sound version of the LMFAO track, adding his own little soulful flourishes. One of the stronger performances of the night, even if it was a little too downtempo.
- MK1 – Pass Out: Finally playing to their strengths as an urban act, Nicole Scherzinger rightly praised the two for being true to themselves. They picked their own song, and it sounded much better as a result. I still wanted to hear a grittier edge to the track, so they need to be more edgy yet again. But a good start.
- Kye Sones – Save The World: Was there any doubt that Kye would blow away all memory of his miserable performance last week? After a verbal kicking from Gary Barlow over his flat notes, Kye came out this week and wowed us with a Swedish House Mafia track performed from a piano on top of a bonfire(!) He gave his most impressive performance in weeks and possibly overtook Christopher in Barlow’s overs category.
- Lucy Spraggan – Titanium: I’m glad Lucy didn’t bow to overblown staging or dance-ified versions of songs. She took a brilliant dance track and brought it into her ballpark. And did it brilliantly. It was an understated performance, enhanced by the lovely backing singers, but Lucy remained the star of the show. Well done.
- Jahmene Douglas – Say A Little Prayer: Testament to the fact that Club Classics is the worst theme ever, Jahmene gave this legendary track his best attempt. He was note perfect the whole way through, but I was bored to tears. Simply put, a horrible song choice. Not Jahmene’s fault.
- District 3 – Begging: Another drastically improved performance this week, putting District 3 back in the game. The harmonies were tighter, the performance was livelier. Our one complaint was that the mash-ups of songs are becoming messy (and this goes for Rylan too), with too many tracks being touched on. Mashups are always fun and clever, but make them too complicated and they become a turn-off.
- Union J – When Love Takes Over: Well, One Direction’s stunt doubles performed a decent, atmospheric version of Kelly Rowland’s When Love Takes Over. Things looked shaky with tuning issues at the beginning, but things improved a fair bit after that. We’ve still got a problem with them being styled as 1D clones, but Gary and Nicole pointed out the lack of energy in the performance and the lack of harmonies.
- Jade Ellis – Free: Struggling with DRAMATIC VOCAL PROBLEMS this week, Jade’s singing was not up to her usual standards. Renowned psychic Louis Walsh predicted that Jade will be in danger tomorrow.
- Christopher Maloney – Waiting For A Star To Fall: Earning a classic insult from Tulisa, who accused Gary Barlow of “churning his own stilton” with Christopher, this may have been the first disaster of Club Classic week. To be fair, Christopher gave the song his best shot, but the styling and even the backing track were abysmal. This week’s theme may cost Gaz Barlow his third act in a row.
- Rylan Clark – Please Don’t Stop The Music: Train wreck or light entertainment? We’re never quite sure. The truth of the matter is that Rylan put on a show for us, while everything else tonight has been quite tedious. But on the other hand, these big spectacle performances are becoming all fur coat and no knickers.
Also, tonight’s X Factor was clearly brought to you by the theme of “which contestant had the worst week”. Kye got scolded by Gary Barlow for being flat, which has to hurt. The Spraggan got kicked out of her hotel for being lairy or something. Jahmene had to deal with horrible revelations about his father in the press. Jade Ellis had a sore throat. Rylan’s beard fell off. I think that may have all contributed to the general air of doom and gloom on tonight’s show.
Quote of the night goes to Tulisa Contostavlos, who accused Gary Barlow of “churning his own stilton” after Christopher Maloney’s cheesy performance. We lol’d!
Anyway, how did YOU rate tonight’s acts? Leave us a comment in the box below!
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