The X Factor, Week 8 – Live Coverage

Welcome back, X Factor fanatics, to Unreality TV’s live coverage of the eighth live show.

The theme of tonight’s show is Britney Spears, mostly because Britney will be advertising her new single performing on the show. This could be seriously hit or miss for some of the contestants. No worries about Alexandra Burke, but will there be a problem for the male contestants singing Britney tunes? And how will Diana cope singing Spears?

Oh, when Dermot was talking about Britney and they were showing those pics of her on the screen, did anyone else hope they’d have slipped in a picture of Britney with no hair?

First up tonight it’s the yummy…

Ruth Lorenzo

Just FYI, pop ignoramuses: I Love Rock N Roll is not a Britney Spears song. It’s a Joan Jett song. Let’s not credit Spears with musical feats beyond her capabilities.

Ruth’s biggest problem throughout this competition is her diction – she slurs like she’s downed 6 pints backstage. Otherwise, it’s a good, confident performance, but I can’t get beyond her diction issues.

Louis: I loved everything about it. Cheryl: It was lovely to see the big production for a change. Simon: I thought it was absolutely brilliant. Dannii: You know how to do a bullfight! You’re a rock chick and that song was fantastic for you.

JLS

…are the second act to perform. In the VT they’re having their own little pity party about being in the bottom two last week. They should be – it was their mentor who stated that no-one who’d been in the bottom two could ever win X Factor.

Tonight they’re doing that Darius Danesh classic – Hit Me Baby (One More Time). Actually, it’s a great arrangement that becomes a bit more like the original as it goes on. Aston is definitely the strongest singer and a good frontman. Good show.

Dannii: [Absolutely drowned out by the audience, but loved every minute of it] Cheryl: That was a horrible song choice for you lot – it’s an iconic Britney song with the school uniform and all. Simon: I would describe that in one word, which was limp. It needed an edge and it could have worked but the production was lame and the performance was lame. Right now, you’re out. Louis: I know the people at home are going to lift their phones to keep you in this competition.

Aston drops a lonely teardrop after that earbashing from Simon. Will you give your sympathy vote to JLS? Next up is….

Alexandra Burke

Fighting talk from Cheryl: The other judges should be worried tonight. Yvie Burnett warns that singing and the intense dance routine might mean a trade off in vocal quality. Yikes!

Oh, she’s singing Toxic. And in a red PVC coat, bet that comes off within the first minute or two! And it does! Right now, Alexandra Burke is my winner this year – she’s red hot, a great all-round performer. She could own the charts in a totally different way to Leona – sassy, up-tempo pop to Leona’s ballad queen.

Louis: If there is any justice, you have to be in the final of the X Factor. You’ve got star quality. Dannii: That was one of Britney’s most iconic tracks and I couldn’t think of anyone better to do it. Simon: To choose that song the week before the semi-final was risky, but it worked. Cheryl: That was absolutely fantastic. You come out here every week and make me the proudest mentor on this panel.

OK, here comes…

Eoghan Quigg

How are they going to play this? As Eoghan says in the VT – a guy singing a girl’s song. What is it? Sometimes, actually one of my favourite Britney songs.

He’s struggling in his lower register (do I sound like I know anything about singing? I don’t). The routine is actually quite true to the original video too. Friedman’s on fire tonight. Unfortunately, Eoghan isn’t. This is the limp performance of the evening. Not his fault though.

Louis: I didn’t think Britney and Eoghan was going to work, but it did. Dannii: It was a bit pitchy at the start but it wasn’t as good as last week. Cheryl: Everybody loves you – it doesn’t matter what song you’re given, it was the perfect song choice for you. Simon: For you, Eoghan, it was OK. I think we’re lucky we have a second song tonight.

I have to say, I appreciate Simon being so honest with his own act, and also honest about the fact that Britney week puts the guys at a disadvantage. But what about Mariah week then?

Now, tremble in fear, fellow watchers, its..,

Diana Vickers

She’s singing I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman. The verse was awful. Simon looks indifferent bordering on annoyed. I can honestly say, that performance sucked ass.

Diana started this competition strong and unique, but since her illness knocked her out for a week, I haven’t enjoyed a single one of her performances. I’d hoped she’d reclaim her crown tonight, but the shine is wearing off. Alexandra – as I commented last week – has overtaken Diana as the top female in the competition.

Louis: Every week you come out and you do the same thing. You haven’t danced yet, and you must be versatile. Dannii: It was pitchy in the first half, I don’t know if you could hear yourself. Simon: It’s not a dance show. For some reason, it didn’t work. I don’t think your voice fitted the song. For the first time, and I genuinely mean this – I think you’re in trouble tonight. Cheryl: The song was perfect for you Diana, it was the best I;ve heard you sing it through the whole rehearsal period.

Seconds out, round two – in which the contestants sing anything but a Britney Spears song. Still has to be American though.

Ruth Lorenzo

Ruth rocks out on Bon Jovi’s Always. A big song, and very powerfully performed. She certainly has a great rock voice when she really lets rip.

Louis: You sang your heart out, it was an amazing performance. Cheryl: That song came from the pit of your stomach and it was the strongest performance of the night. Simon: It was incredibly emotional and if we’re going to award a place in the semi-final on effort and determination, we’ve got to give it to you after that. Dannii: It was a fantastic, authentic rock vocal. I hope everyone votes for you.

Back onstage…its

JLS

Cookie/Aston is a good singer. I like him, but the band just isn’t right. I don’t know what song it was

Dannii: It’s really hard to get back on that horse and get back up there again. Cheryl: Far better than the first song. I love it when you have a massive production, like your Michael Jackson week. Simon: Guys, you know what I said about the first song, and I meant every word I said. But having said that, you’re back in the competition. You could probably have a hit record with that.

And this is what I love about The X Factor – Simon killed their careers earlier tonight. Just about an hour later, he’s proclaiming them amazing again. That’s how quickly the worm can turn in this competition!

Alexandra Burke

…loses a little bit of respect for a tear-filled VT in which she blubs about keeping her dream alive.

Still, she rips it up with a diva performance of (we’re guessing it’s called Listen). No dancing on this one, just a subtle reminder that Alex is the strongest female singer in this competition. Perfect. Cue rave reviews…

Louis: That was incredible. It just doesn’t get any better than that. You are the best girl singer in this competition by a mile. Dannii: You are the best singer in the competition. Please vote for Alex. Simon: You’ve made me very proud to be British tonight. You’ve really got to me, because you’re 19/20 years old and I know how much this means to you and I like people who try, and I like people who are decent off-camera, which you’ve been so far. That was the best performance of the series. Cheryl: [Tearfully] I am so proud of you Alexandra and if I can’t get you into the final, it’ll be one of the biggest regrets of my career.

Eoghan Quigg

Eoghan’s back on stage with a little song and dance number he borrowed from Same Difference..er…High School Musical. We’re All In This Together. Oh, look Northern Irish types – a big shamrock and Eoghan’s school (presumably) emblazoned across the top!

Look, let’s be honest here – Eoghan’s totally drowned out by the chorus. Can you hear him sing? Total cop-out – even the camera is focussing on the dancers more than Eoghan.

Louis: That was very very busy. You always win me over, and you can sing and you can dance. Dannii: That is how it should be done. Cheryl: You looked like you thoroughly enjoyed yourself. Simon: Eoghan – we’re in the semi-final kid! The vocals were great, the energy was great, 100% better than the first song.

Alright, closing the show tonight, and hopefully giving everything…

Diana Vickers

And she’s coming back with a safe choice – R.E.M. and Everybody Hurts. I liked the little ‘no no’ bit, that was a nice touch in a sea of screamy singing. Nope, she’s lost it.

Louis: I much prefered your second song to your first song, but Alexandra and Ruth still have the edge on you. Dannii: From the start of the song to the end, you were in it. Simon: I could feel your nerves, but that song may have saved you, because it was a million times better than the first one. Cheryl: You came out there and you totally nailed it.

It’s totally gutting to see Diana so weak when she was a front-runner a few short weeks ago. I’m about to work out the chart for tonight, and I truly believe that Diana has to be bottom of the bunch tonight, along with Eoghan.

But hey, let’s watch Miley Cyrus….

I like this wee song, “It was awesome, but we lost it.” How do you think she compares to the contestants tonight? I’d love to see her do a version of Achy Breaky Heart – do you think she ever sings Billy Ray’s biggest only hit?

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