After an exhausting boot camp round last week, we’re down to 24 desperate wannabes. Discounting the Grimes Brothers, that’s 22 desperate wannabes who should be there. Tonight we’re at the judge’s houses stage, where we get to know the contestants a little bit better, and gawp at the splendour of the houses that the judges may or may not actuallyt live in!

Join me from 8:00pm this evening to give your verdict on each act as they perform for their new mentors! And follow us on Twitter for the odd nugget and comment we may drop there too!

Louis decides to change the habits of a lifetime and brings his auditionees to Italy instead of Ireland. His contract with Bord Failte must have expired Anyway, he brings the wonderful Ronan Keating (famous in the 90’s, kiddies) to help him judge, since Westlife don’t have an album out this year.

Simon brings fashion disaster Sinitta along to his mansion in L.A. She attempts to upstage everyone there by wearing a barely there palm-tree ‘dress’. We let out a collective cry of “TWAT” in our living room. Why is she allowed to do stuff like this?

Cheryl takes her group to Morrocco while she wanders an oversized mansion in a pretty frock. The boys look glad to see her, especially the one trying to roll his tongue back into his mouth. She reveals Will Young as her co-mentor, and the boys smiles drop. Clearly they’d been hoping for a return of Kimberly Walsh from last year!

Dannii brings the girlies to Dubai and reveals her most powerful weapon – sister Kylie, who is looking far better than she did in the Leon Jackson year of the show. Everybody goes buck daft, and the two Minogue sisters look giggly and pleased with themselves. Actually the closest I’ve seen the two look on screen…ever.

Cheryl, Will and the boys

Joe McElderry is first up to sing for Cheryl and Will singing Elton’s Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word. It sounded a little bit screechy to me, to be honest. Schoolboy Lloyd Daniels takes on an acoustic number, but Will Young’s muttering is very hard to hear, so I don’t know what they think of him. Next is operatic song-butcher Daniel Fox with a terrible song choice and a catastrophic interpretation. Arrggghhh, I can’t stand it. Will thought it was moving. Well, I moved away from the TV, does that count?

Ladies’ favourite, Ethan Boroian, does a clever re-interpretation of I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues (why does Elton always make such long song titles?) Will doesn’t like the vocal but thinks he’s really handsome. Duane Lamonte gives us some sob story about living in a tough area of North London, but kicks ass on Ne-Yo’s Closer. He bookends his performance with tears. X Factor returnee, Rikki Loney, comes up with a jazzy version of You’ve Got A Friend. Cheryl’s convinced, but Will has his reservations. Hmmm…

Cheryl does her usual ‘agonizing over the decision’ bit, while Will seems to be a lot more opinionated and not so bothered about rejecting crap contestants.

Louis, Big Ronan and the groups

Dermott tries to attribute some of JLS’s success to Louis. We laugh our arses off at the biggest stretch of the imagination since Sinitta ‘discovered’ Leona Lewis.

Project A are the first group to perform. They sound like a drunk school choir, but they think their 4 Non Blondes cover went well. The sexiest group of the year – Kandy Rain – are next to perform. Louis decides to challenge them about the stripper allegations, but there’s no dirt to be dug, honestly. They do a version of Lady Gaga’s Papparazzi. It’s brilliant – these girls deserve to be in the finals. Buddy duo from Liverpool, De-Tour come on with what’s this? Braces? And a version of Elton’s Tiny Dancer. Nice version, but nothing to write home about. Ronan has nothing good to say.

The Harmony Hood crew try to do something interesting with Never Can Say Goodbye, but leave us confused slightly. Louis and Ronan are underwhelmed. Next come Miss Frank, and I have a theory about how they got their name – they’re a band formed from three solo acts, a kind of Frankenstein’s monster. They do a cool version of Aretha’s Respect. And finally, the two boys with the Twat Factor, John and Edward Grimes tell us that they want everybody to have big hair like them. Then they forget which boyband Ronan was in and sing a Backstreet Boys song instead. Listening to them in interview with Dermott, I’m not sure they have two brain cells to rub together.

If I had a choice, it would be Kandy Rain, Harmony Hood and Miss Frank. Not those Irish abominations. Ronan thinks Louis is crazy to give them a chance.

Simon, a palm tree and some old folks

Back at Simon’s modest L.A. bungalow, Olly Murs is a little nervous. He strips out all the cheeky chappie stuff (praise Jebus) and shows he can do sensitive and serious. Treyc Cohen, aside from looking cute in that pink dress, causes out jaws to drop with a spine-tingling version of All The Man That I Need. Simon gives her a reassuring wink. Sinitta tries to hex her with her evil eye. Daniel Pearce sounds a little bit snivelly talking about One True Voice. His version of Praying For Time is passable, and it gives those backing singers something to do, but is it good enough? Well, Simon thinks he did “a million percent”. Wow.

Next up is the amazing Nicole Lawrence, who impressed us last week with You’re Gonna Love Me. Even in this stripped-down setting, her voice is formidable, but I’m slightly worried that they’ve been down this road before with Rowetta and Brenda Edwards. Simon drops hints about putting more than his quota of three through. And now we get Danyl Johnson, who impressed everybody at his first audition. Hopes are high for this guy. He sings Alicia Keys’ Falling, but pulls what I affectionately call ’stroke face’ after every dramatic phrase he sings. He leaves Simon grinning – “totally over the top, but he’s good”. Finally, my pet peeve of the series (OK, in addition to the Grimes Twins) is Jamie Afro. This guy annoys the living hell out of me. He sings a version of Oasis’s Stop Crying Your Heart Out. Fair play, it’s a more subduued performance than Danyl’s was and perhaps better for it. Damn you, Afroman, that was unexpectedly tender!

Note: Lisa thinks that Danyl Johnson and Stacey Soloman have been made to tone down their acts a little bit. After initially impressing the nation at their first auditions, they weren’t seen again until the last boot camp episode. Now, at judges houses, both are a little underwhelming, not living up to their original promise. Have they been told to hold back the amazingness for the live shows?

Dannii, Kylie and the girlie singers

I’m guessing Dannii will stick to convention and let the girls sing. My preference would be some kind of mud-wrestling element to the girl’s round. Hey-ho.

First up for the girls is Stacey Soloman who’s just so funny to watch. She breaks out the old standard audition song Over The Rainbow, and wows the Minogue sisters with a beautiful tone in her voice. Stacey McClean impressed at auditions, and chooses an old Britney song which she’s rather good at. OK, maybe a little bit shrill, but good. Kylie’s worried that she might not handle the diversity of songs on the live shows. Rachel Adedeji is the third singer with Nobody Knows but she’s not as show-stopping as I remember from first auditions.

Despina Pilavakis is the next singer, she does a cover of Christina Aguilera’s Trust The Voice Within, but falls a little short for us and the Minogues. Up next is another memorable audition: Lucie Jones, singing Gloria Estefan’s Anything For You. Lisa comments – “lovely voice, but boring” I thought she pulled it out of the bag in the second half of the song. The girls are actually the most disappointing group so far in this episode. Will Nicole Jackson raise their game? She’s a little nervous and despite a good beginning, she forgets her words. She recovers eventually, but is devastated. She was good though, she doesn’t need the sympathy vote.

The Minogue sisters have a big decision ahead of them. My picks from the girls group? Stacey Soloman, Stacey McClean and Nicole Jackson.

That’s it for tonight folks. Leave your lovely comments below and let us know what you thought of tonight’s show!