Olly 2 Go? Well, someone’s got to go in tonight’s X Factor semi-final results show. It looks like it may be Olly or Danyl from the chatter I’ve been hearing, but that would be ignoring a third rate performance from Stacey on her Michael Jackson song.

Anyway, we have an act I love coming on tonight – the amazing Lady Gaga. And there’s also Janet Jackson. Will she be performing her brother’s songs or her own? We’ll find out shortly. If there’s any doubt, Gaga is the headliner for me this evening.

Judges are out, and I’m loving Cheryl Cole’s legs in that black dress. Hubba hubba. OK, contestants in their group performance now, and it’s the funky classic Wanna Be Starting Something. After my complaints about the slow tempo on some songs last night, this one’s being played at the right speed.

Danyl does a bit of microphone juggling and we collectively shouted Stop It!!! in our living room. Stacey’s voice was a bit off in my opinion, and Olly impressed me with a damned good vocal for a change. Danyl and Joe were just excellent!

Dermot has a quick chat to the judges and they agree that the semi-final is going to be a close-run thing. I have to quote Jo Hemmings, who explained it to me on Twitter: “That’s because this is not a vintage year – compared to the last two years, this lot are basking in mediocrity…”

Lady Gaga!

Much writhing onstage as Lady Gaga and her oversexed dancers rise from an oversized bathtub. I have a feeling she’s miming for once, but the routine is quite complicated. Her costume is utterly mental – and then she says something like “I’m a freak bitch baby” – she’s got tomorrow’s front pages covered then!

Note to Simon – look at this woman. She has owned the charts in 2009 with a combination of brilliant singing voice, amazing songwriting skills. Not to mention off-the-wall fashion sense and mind-bending videos. When you stand your four finalists next to this unique performer, can you honestly claim any of them have the X Factor?

Janet Jackson!

I have to say, X Factor deserves so much kudos for bringing so many big stars to Sunday night telly. While it may not exactly be Simon Cowell’s replacement for Top Of The Pops, it’s much appreciated.

Janet does what she’s best at – big group dancing efforts as she (seemingly) mimes her way through some of her biggest solo hits. And we’re a little miffed – we thought it was going to be her tribute to Michael by singing some of his songs. Better still, I don’t recognize some of these tunes  at all.

Anyway, Jan-bot struts off the stage, missing an opportunity to offer cliched advice to the contestants about how to ‘believe in talent’ and ‘just be yourself’.

Elimination

It’s done, the lines are closed. The votes, they have been counted and verified by Dermot’s auntie Jean. Now, here come the X Factor finalists and their judges. Sometimes this bit reminds me of the judges taking their dogs out for a walk. I’m tense, you’re tense, the ITV-watching nation is tense.

First act through to the final is Olly. All bets are officially off. Joe is the second act returned. It’s between Stacey and Danyl now. Stacey looks like a forlorn puppy. But Stacey is through to the final, Danyl Johnson – sadly – has been voted off. That’s unbelievable! To be fair to Danyl, he graciously accepts his fate and wishes the other contestants well for the final.

We can only hope that this gives him the opportunity to cast off some of the negative press X Factor has brought him. Simon Cowell looks gutted that Danyl didn’t get through. Danyl sings us out to Man In The Mirror, a brilliant version. I just can’t believe that Olly Murs got through instead. This is a disaster, and not how I envisaged the final turning out. Danyl should’ve been there.