Highlights of last night? Lucie Jones overtaking Stacey Solomon as best female, and Jedward’s Ghostbusters malarky. Other than that, a fairly nondescript evening of nondescript songs.

Tonight is going to provide true star quality though, as Leona Lewis (hot new video just out!) and the Black Eyed Peas (hot new video just out!) are due to entertain us. Expect Leona to be wearing a big frock, and Fergie to be wearing exactly the opposite!

Here we go, blogging live for your pleasure…

The ensemble number tonight is Katy Perry’s Hot N Cold sung in the style of the end song in your school play. These things are cheesy, but such good fun! And I can’t believe Jamie Afro managed to say ‘bitch’ on Sunday night TV! Luverly!

Next up – the obligatory montage of last night’s show, with extra backstage footage. I think everybody loved seeing Cheryl and Louis bitching at each other in the corridor! But here comes the hotness…

Black Eyed Peas

Possibly my favourite pop act of the last 5 years, Black Eyed Peas tick just about every box for me – sexy, musically inventive, sexy, fun, sexy and funky. Fergie gets lowered onto the stage on a giant moon, and they launch into Meet Me Halfway. Did I mention I love Fergie? She looks kind of demure in that full length dress (does that mean that Leona will be performing in bra and hotpants? Fingers crossed ) Will.I.Am flies past on wires, a move I’d been hoping to see from Bon Jovi last week!

Third single from their The E.N.D album, and showing no signs of becoming boring or stale. BEP rock! In the absence of a mentoring session, that performance should have taught our erstwhile wannabes a thing or two.

Fergie exclusively reveals that she had a wardrobe malfunction and had to borrow Cheryl Cole’s shoes. Foot fetishists across the country break into goofy grins!

Predictions

The female judges refuse to say who they think will be in the bottom two tonight. But Louis and Simon have no such honour – they both point the finger at Lloyd Daniels. So, we’re in agreement then. Now…

The goregeous Leona Lewis

Yes, she’s wearing the obligatory elaborate frock. Technically she’s wearing two elaborate frocks – one on stage and another in the dreamy video footage behind her. I’m not a fan of this Ryan Tedder number, but she looks gorgeous in the video – go and check it out. But on stage here, she’s brought the effortless vocals we’ve come to expect. Eye makeup begs some comment – she looks a little crazed.

For me, this is a fitting reminder of how good X Factor can be. I’m just not seeing anyone as good as Leona this year. She’s got a new album coming out at the moment (Echoes). I’ve heard a little bit of it, and it’s every bit as good as her debut.  Go Leona!

Elimination Time!

Rar! The contestants and judges take to the stage for elimination. Joe is the first act returning next week. Olly is next. The third act returning is Stacey Solomon. Then @!!#@??? Lloyd is back again! Damnit! Danyl is safe for another week as well. Who’s the final safe act? Jamie Archer!

So unfair! Lucie Jones is in the sing-off, despite being universally praised for her performance last night. She’s up against John and Edward, which might actually force Simon and Louis to be real about the Irish Horrors. This is going to be uncomfortable, and both acts first time in the bottom two.

The Sing-off

Lucie is up first, and Dannii gives a touching endorsement of her artist, thanking everybody who’s supported her so far. Lucie gets a reassuring round of applause from the audience as she starts singing (One Moment In Time). I’m noticing she’s barefoot on the stage. Though she starts out a little weak, she regains beautifully and hits the big notes like a pro. She’s really starting to come into her own, it would be so unfair to vote her off tonight!

Next up, the Jedward, announced to some ugly booing from the X Factor audience. Damn. They’re singing Rock DJ in their Ghostbusters costumes! Louis is grinning like a fool at his uncoordinated, tuneless duo. Cheryl’s laughing – not sure if it’s at the twins’ antics on stage or that Louis might lose them!

Now…decisions, decisions. Let me remind the judges that this (apparently) is a singing competition…

Louis (should do the brave thing and vote to eliminate the twins) votes to eliminate Lucie. Dannii naturally chooses to eliminate the twins. Cheryl gives the boot to Jedward. Simon. Will he man up and boot out Jedward? Simon opts to be a complete arse about Lucie, saying he’d rather see the twins again. Then he wusses out and sends it to the public vote. Really, Simon, that was spineless and low. Lucie is in tears.

Lucie is eliminated

The atmosphere is really ugly in the studio as the crowd roundly boo either Spineless Simon or John and Edward, we’re not sure which. Dannii makes a very pointed comment about wishing all the good singers luck in this competition.

What gets me is that Simon could’ve avoided this. He went on Xtra Factor last night and denied that he’d set up the whole John and Edward thing. Then he shafts Lucie by sending the vote to deadlock? He could’ve saved her. There’s no point in having the judges having a vote at the end and not using it.

We’re watching Xtra Factor now, and even Jedward seem upset that Lucie got eliminated. Holly Willoughby asks Dermot if it’s a cop-out going to deadlock, and the audience interrupt to answer “yes”. Someone makes the key point: do the judges even know what the show’s about anymore? Simon gets some very harsh words from the callers on the Xtra Factor panel. But he seems completely fine with the fact that the public failed to vote for Lucie and put her in that position in the first place.

Simon had two potential problems though: if he’d taken out Jedward, Louis would have no acts left, and if Lucie had progressed to the later stages, she might have been competition for one of Simon’s acts. My feeling is that he made a tactical decision, but he’s the person we expect to be straight with the public and the contestants. He should’ve used his vote to save Lucie, but just didn’t.

John and Edward should walk

This is my personal opinion, but I think that John and Edward should quit X Factor now. Whatever their own ambitions, they are not singers, and they’re skewing this contest for the talented people.

I accept that the judges placed them in the final 12, but they’re weakening the position of the real talent. Also, they’re being exploited themselves. With the exception of the mentally deranged Jedward fans, nobody normal can see a musical career for the twins. Seriously, they’ve had the exposure they need for a career as a comedy duo, they should do the dignified thing and walk away.

That’s all I have to say tonight.