Getting prepped to liveblog tonight’s X Factor – join us here on Unreality TV for live coverage of tonight’s show. It’s Take That and Elton John songs, so there’s bound to be a few classic tunes on the show and the judges no longer have a vote, but we’ll still be subjected to their opinions about each act.

Oh, and everybody gets to sing not one, but two songs tonight. A good thing or a bad thing? History will record the answer to that question…

If you want to find out which songs are being performed tonight, check out Lisa’s spoiler post.

Oh, we’re back to the extravagant claims. Stupid voiceover man says 200,000 APPLIED…ONLY FOUR (PLUS LLOYD) REMAIN!!! We reel in horror at how piss-poor the other 195,995 applicants must have been. Let’s face it folks, there’s no Will Young, no Girls Aloud, no Leona Lewis this year. Since the final 12 were revealed, this year was clearly demarcated “a Leon Jackson year”.

All we can hope for now is that the remaining contestants get voted off in the right order – Lloyd first, then Olly, then Joe or Stacey (doesn’t matter which order) and probably Danyl to win. Yawn…

Danyl Johnson

The first half of the show is devoted to the mighty Take That, and Simon throws Danyl to the lions first. He’s singing Relight My Fire, which Louis will surely grumble about because it’s not a Take That original blah blah blah. Word on the street is that Danyl is doing a full-on dance routine.

Egad! The vocal inflections are annoying at the start, but once we get past the intro, it gets better. He handles the stage performance brilliantly, the kind of thing he should’ve been doing from the start. The conspiracy theorists among us think that Danyl’s performances have been stripped back for this kind of big reveal at the end of the series.

Louis: What a great start to the show. I’m glad you’ve got your mojo back. I think you’re really talented and in Round 1 you won. Dannii: Amazing production, amazing performances. The choruses were fine, the verses a bit pitchy. And Brian, I’m not sure about the body rolls. Cheryl: Yeah, they were as camp as Christmas, but in a really fantastic way. I know how tough it is to sing and dance at the same time, but you made that look pretty effortless. Simon: I promise you, that this was an incredibly complicated routine. You were note-perfect, you were foot-perfect. You’re the kind of artist who can have anything thrown at you.

Lloyd Daniels

Lil’ Lloyd takes the stage next, for his version of A Million Love Songs. A safe enough tune for him, no nasty high notes to trip him up. This actually works for Lloyd though – no big performance, and a cutesy vocal that’s going to appeal to his teenage fanbase and the odd mother out there who wants to pinch his cheeks. No, not those cheeks…

I’m going to say it…this is probably his best vocal performance of the competition so far. Is he another stealth contestant, because he’s been steadily improving over the last couple of weeks.

Louis: Lloyd the thing is you are in the final five, so obviously people like you more than I do. I think the song suited you better than last week. Dannii: There’s a million girls out there that want your phone number. You always put on a great performance, you always bounce back. I’d just say, don’t complicate your melodies at all, because you’re making it tougher for yourself and tuning wise it’s going off a bit in the verses. Simon: Look, Lloyd. It was a very very good choice of song. It’s a teen pop song. I thought you sang it OK, but what you’ve got to show us in the audience is that you’ve got fire in your eyes, that you want to stay in this competition. In the second song I want to see a little bit more committment, OK?

Olly Murs

Coming back from being in the bottom two last week, Olly realises he needs to raise his game. Laughing at his session with Yvie where he’s singing into a bottle of water – it’s the first time I’ve noticed this!

He’s singing Love Ain’t Here Anymore – starts off with a few strained notes as he croons to a girl in the audience. As unexcited as I am by his brown waistcoat and trousers ensemble, the song really suits his voice. And I’m so glad we don’t have to watch the ‘cheeky dancing’ that’s become his trademark.

Louis: Everywhere I go people are telling me how much they like you. I’m glad you got your confidence back, that song totally suited you and I think you deserve to be in the final three. Dannii: I really admired you for getting up there, but the sparkle wasn’t completely in your eyes for that song. Cheryl: It was really lovely to see everything stripped away and just hear you sing. I’m looking forward to round two and seeing you back in your stride again. Simon: Olly I’d like to start with the girl you were singing to, because she’s very cute. I think you sang the song well, you emoted the song well. What’s been great about what happened last week – no sulking, no complaining, you just got on with it.

Joe McElderry

Next up is Joe McElderry with a song Simon claims is ‘obvious’. Joe rather unconvingly tries to persuad us he’s a fighter, but he seems to nice… His song is Could It Be Magic, which will be useful if they also do a Barry Manilow week. There’s some typical trippy Friedman stage production going on behind him, but Joe and his very un-showbiz clothes seem completely detatched from it all.

The singing is, as always, on top form though and Joe has managed to improve week on week. The most consist singer in the whole competition.

Louis: Joe it was magic. Every week, you get better and better, you’re becoming a real popstart. Seriously, you deserve to be in the final three. Dannii: Joe, you were absolutely flying high. You took the opportunity, it was a hard song. I know you were nervous about the notes, but you smashed it. Simon: What was actually so impressive there was that you managed to really really maturely navigate your way through the dancers there. That production Brian, was absolutely fantastic. But you Joe, were the star, having said that. Cheryl: What can I say? Listen to the reaction Joe, it was flawless. You deserve to win.

Stacey Solomon

The lovely Stacey…dramatic music over her rehearsal footage. She seems to be having trouble with the song – Rule The World - but Dannii remains confident.

Loving the glittery dress. There was a moment where she held a note longer than the backing track, which really didn’t sound good. I think Rule The World has exposed some of the weaknesses in Stacey’s vocals that the judges have ignored.

Louis: I like you every week. I think you’re getting better and better. You don’t believe this but you’re a really good singer. You absolutely did it for me. Cheryl: I don’t think people realise how tough it is to sing a male vocal when you’re a female vocalist. Simon: Where you have an advantage being a girl singing a male song is that it’s not going to sound like a karaoke version. I thought that was very believable, it was the perfect song choice for you, and it was better than your song last week. Dannii: Stacey is the true star of this show, and I don’t think people realise how much you’ve come on each week.

And after that…we do it all over again, but this time with Elton John songs. The people on Twitter are actually fatigued!

Lloyd Daniels (again)

OK, apparently a big production number for Lloyd. He’s doing I’m Still Standing, a song that probably ‘represents his X Factor journey and his struggle against public apathy’. Now would be the time to come out live onstage…

Once again, another song that suits his voice perfectly. They should’ve been doing stuff like this with him from the start. The only problem – as Louis Walsh will say in a minute – is that his voice is the weakest part of the mix.

Louis: Round 1, you kind of won me over. It just didn’t look like you were having a good time, and it was just a bit karaoke for me. Dannii: Lyrically, you’re still proving a point there. A fantastic production. Vocally, it is still shaky, but better than the first song. Simon: I thought that was a silly song choice. That retro routine didn’t suit you, it didn’t suit the song. It was like something from an amateur dramatics production. Cheryl, you are a pop star, you understand what’s right for the artist, what’s right for the song. Cheryl: I’m very very proud of you for coming out and delivering each week after you get such hard criticism.

Danyl Johnson (again)

Danyl’s taking on Your Song, an Elton classic. He starts off with an abruptly harsh intro, then tones it down for a verse. He’s joined by a children’s choir (his class?) for a crescendo. Oh yes, he’s giving it his boybander best for a grand finale. Yeah, fair dues to him, he’s got pop chops.

Louis: What I like about you is that you always bounce back. You picked Elton’s most iconic song, you made it your own. I loved everything about it, except the choir. You don’t need the choir – with your looks and your voice, you’ve got it all. Dannii: A really great version of a great song. Much, much better than your first song. Cheryl: I think that we’re finally seeing the Danyl that we first saw at the start of the audition process. You look more comfortable, you look more confident. Simon: It wasn’t good, it was sensational. Louis,don’t be rude about kids on the stage, you’re like a dark cloud that blots out sunshine…

Olly Murs (again)

Olly takes on Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting and give a fairly typical Murs performance. In fact, I think it’s the same one he did a week or two ago, but with different costumes for the dancers. It’s that transparent. Not totally impressed with this turn…

Louis: I loved you in round 1. It was an unusual song choice for you. I like your funny dancing and I like you, but there was something missing for me. Dannii: Move over round 1 was OK, round 2 was an absolute knockout. I’m really happy that the grandpa suit’s gone. That was absolutely a smash. Cheryl: I don’t know how on earth you concentrated with all those sexy girls around you. But you did it and you did it really well. Simon: It was the Olly we really loved from the very beginning, back in the competition with a great song, great performance and you really added something tonight. You made it sound like the song was written for you.

Joe McElderry (again)

Joe’s back with Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word. This is a straightforward vocal performance, no chorus line of girls in stupid costumes. I realy like this kid – he puts so much into his performances, and he seems like a genuinely nice guy. Didn’t last long, that version.

Louis: You absolutely won round 2 for me. You’ve got it all, you were born to do this. People have to pick up the phones and vote for you. Dannii: There hasn’t been a song sung in this year’s competition with more passion than that one. The feeling that you have is just exceptional – I have to see you in the final – please vote for Joe. Simon: I’m absolutely gobsmacked by that. This is what I do for a living. I thought this was a safe choice. Something happened to you in a week. It’s almost like the boy’s turned into a man and it felt like you were really sincerely singing every single lyric. Cheryl: You’re a little star, you make me proud to be a Geordie!

Stacey Solomon (again)

Ah, pink dress, reclining on a grand piano. That’s just how I used to spend my weekends too, Stacey… I don’t like how her accent-cum-speech-impediment comes across in her singing.  And the voice is wavering yet again in places. Let me tell you friends, lovely Stacey’s voice has been horribly overhyped. This was a decent performance, but nowhere near

Louis: Stacey, you’re the last girl standing, but you deserve to be here to the final three. I preferred you in round 1 to round 2. Cheryl: You looked slightly uncomfortable in parts there. Under the circumstances, I thought you did a great job. Simon: I’m gonna tell you why I didn’t like that song – you’re not really a singer like Leona or Alexandra. What I loved about you on your first audition was that you had a different kind of voice, it was more subtle, it was cooler and that’s why I made the wedding singer comparison there. There have been some outstanding performances tonight though.