An audition video to be aired in tonight’s X Factor show will have you rolling around your sofa laughing!

Enter 70 year old Emily, dressed like a geriatric teenager with a woolen scarf wrapped around her head.

Simon Cowell is the first to ask about her unusual accessory, she informs him that she wants to keep her mouth covered as she is in dire need of dentistry. She sings, predictably she is AWFUL, and not even Sharon can make allowances for this one.

Simon retorts:

“This is all ridiculous, you’re standing like something out of a horror movie – The Invisible Man or whatever it is.” An outraged Emily retorts from behind her scarf; “I’m standing here like someone who actually has The X Factor.” Simon hits back. “Yes but not on planet earth darling.” The exchange takes a bizarre twist when Emily gives it to Simon with both barrels. “Simon you’re a warm charismatic handsome person with good dentistry. But that doesn’t give you the right to tell me that I am here to get dentistry.” To which an exasperated Simon shouts incredulously; “But it’s not my fault that I’ve got good teeth!”

The best thing is that Emily, who really cannot sing a note, is severely shocked at the judges refusal. Surely after 70 years on this earth she would have gained some perspective on her talents….it is a long long time to fool yourself after all!