X Factor judge Nicole Scherzinger opens up about her struggles with bulimia.
X Factor judge Nicole Scherzinger has opened up about her struggles with bulimia.
Asked if she still sees herself as a ‘crazy bitch’, Nicole said: “I was trying not to take myself too seriously. But I’m actually a judge that cracks the whip when it comes to work – I go through everything with a fine-tooth comb. I’m very well-invested as a mentor. I take my job seriously and when I say I’ll give 110%, I’m going to do it.”
She added: “I love having fun and I think it’s always important to have a sense of humour about life. I do work so hard, so that’s where the whole ‘crazy bitch’ thing came from, but I want to bring energy and fun to the panel. I want to bring constructive criticism and expertise but also some kind of light-heartedness.”
“I think it’s natural that people would have misconceptions about me – they’ve seen me in the [Pussycat] Dolls and in my music videos, when I’m this sexy, fierce girl. And there is a side of me like that – I’ve got my Sasha Fierce in me. I’ve always had that. But then everyday I’m just a normal girl. I’m a goofball. I have a sense of humour and people don’t always get to see that.”
Commenting on suffering from bulimia, she said: “It’s embarrassing just to hear that somebody else is aware of it. I need to get used to speaking about it. It’s something that I hid from the world, from even the closest people to me, for well over a decade. But I’m a brave girl now! What got me to that point was that I wanted to help people. I know what it’s like to live in such a dark place. I’ve found a healthy place in my life where there’s happiness and joy and acceptance, and it just takes a huge weight off your shoulders. I wondered why people don’t connect with me… and it’s because I don’t know when to tell the truth, as I’m protecting myself. When you open up and tell the truth, it’ll set you free.”
“I put so much pressure on myself. I never thought I was good enough. I wanted to be perfect. But we can’t do that. It’s too much.”
“It’s something that feels like a very shameful thing to have to go through and it can be hard to get help – you think it’s something you have to do alone. But you’re not alone. The main thing I would say is: get out of the negative relationship with yourself. Do things that give you confidence. Do things that make you feel good. Don’t be so hard on yourself and beat yourself up. All the images in the press, none of that is real. You have to learn to love and embrace you.”
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