Two weeks into my vow to lead an X-Factor-free life and it hasn’t started well.

Let me begin my saying, sometimes there is a reason some acts aren’t already selling albums like Cowell buys teeth; namely, The Unconventionals. Personally I’m glad to see the back-end of them.. That reminds me; didn’t they have the look of a nudist club about them.

4sure will feel hard done by to be knocked out on week two, not least by seeing the sickening grins of the MacDonald brothers next week. But to be fair, they weren’t in the best of voice.

For me, Ben and Ashley flopped like dead fish on week one despite my high-hopes. And in honesty a week later and Ashley still seems a touch lazy in his performance. Ben on the other hand had fully mastered the art of looking a plonk, launching himself onto a piano only to wonder why.

Leona and Dionne are the voices of the year, but right now, both seem far too sure of themselves to gain any likeability from me. Saying that, Dionne was as good as publicly laughed-at standing beside the (thankfully fully-clothed) Unconventionals last Saturday.

And whilst I am the first to call myself passionate of music, never before has it made me sick to the stomach. That is until now. The Macdonald brothers simply take the piss. Never in my days have I seen 2 grown men dragged onto TV in such a humiliating way. They looked like the new islanders to hit “Ballamory” and sounded like two high-school lads putting in a half-hearted rendition of the Music teacher’s favourite song.

Like Ashley, Nikkita still needs her batteries a-rumbled, Eton Road must avoid being Louis-ised (i.e. all stand on key-change) and if Ray gets any cheesier he’ll be more laughing cow than Robbie Williams.

Elsewhere, Kerry isn’t doing it for me; vocally she is a million miles behind the rest and while I’ll be told by the bucket load I’m wrong, I believe sympathy is playing its wicked part. Lastly, but none less passionately, Frank “Robert” Bruno is for some as-yet unknown reason, really grating on me.

It’s the ultimate in loveable trashy-telly!

let me know what you think via my website.

This article was written by Carl, one of our Unreality TV contributors. Check out Carl’s own site at foundthatsoul.co.nr