Steve Brookstein has admitted that life hasn’t exactly worked out as he hoped after he won the X Factor, but added that he feels more optimistic now than before.

The former X Factor winner also admitted that his stubbornness over his music, led to the failure of his relationship with Simon Cowell.

“I didn’t want to undergo the changes that were forced upon me when I won The X Factor but that fear of change only lead to even more change. As a person who doesn’t enjoy change this was a nightmare,” he wrote on his blog.

“It’s was like being on the boat at the end of The Truman Show or entering the Matrix. Morpheus offers Neo two pills. The red pill will answer the question ‘what is the Matrix?’ and the blue pill, simply for life to carry on as before.

“Winning The X Factor has opened a door to a new world and I had swallowed the red pill. I look at things in a totally new way now, but for the first time in a while I’m a little optimistic. I have taken on Simon Cowell and lost. Actually, I got thumped.”

He added: “I stood my ground over a matter of great importance to me – my music. The thing I wanted to be remembered for. I love making music and I’ve always wanted to make good music. Not sell a million, not have a number one – just make good music.

“I take little pleasure in saying ‘I’ve had a number one single and album’. Of course I use it to help me move forward rebuilding my career and it is kind of cool, but it’s the hope I have in my future music that really feeds my soul. Simon will probably be remembered for being an extremely successful businessman, maybe that’s the best way to be in this music business, but that’s not me.”