On tonight’s Big Brother show…..
Brain, Chantelle and Ulrika are in the bedroom. Ulrika talks about her eyebrows and says that they are on their own secret task. Chantelle asks them if they think they are going to nominate today. Brain suspects it will be a vote to evict until Wednesday and then a vote to win after that.
The other housemates are in the kitchen talking about the MP expenses scandal. Victor says that MPs have grown up with a sense of entitlement and that he thought that you claimed expenses for things like travelling to work not buying food for the house. Vanessa asks Nikki if she is involved in such issues. Nikki says that she is a little bit and that she doesn’t like paying any taxes. Vanessa says that you have to pay taxes to earn and save money and even when you die.
Brain and Ulrika are in the bedroom. Big Brother reveals that housemates will be nominating shortly and that Vanessa is eligible to nominate and be nominated. Brain and Ulrika say “shit”. Ulrika says “that really f***s me up now”. Chantelle walks in and asks them if her boobs look small today.
Nikki and Vanessa are in the Living room. Nikki says that is not fair for them to have to nominate because it should be up to the public “It’s Ultimate it should be up to the public!”
Victor says he might just do “eeny meany miney mo” to pick his nominations. “I dunno what I’m doing, for the first time ever.”
Today Housemates will nominate for the final time – Brian is first to nominate.
BB informs Brain that he will have to nominate by spinning the roulette wheel.
Montage of housemates nominating and method as follows:
Brain – Draws nominations and nominates Nick and Preston
Chantelle – Raps her nominations and chooses Nick and Nikki
Michelle – Mimes her nominations and nominates Nick and Vanessa
Nick – has to put his hand in the box of danger to nominate and chooses Ulrika and Vanessa
Ulrika – Mimes her nominations and picks Michelle and Nikki
Vanessa – Gargles her nominations and chooses Brian and Chantelle
Victor – Raps his nominations and nominates Brian and Chantelle
Preston – Gargles his nominations and chooses Vanessa and Michelle
Nikki – Mimes her nominations and nominates Ulrika and Michelle
Since Michelle, Nick and Vanessa all received 3nominations each they will face the public vote. Victor was the only housemate to receive no nominations.
Vanessa asks the housemates if they would take their partner back if they cheated. Chantelle says “no although I have done it in the past, never again”. Ulrika says that she was taken back.
Vanessa says that she doesn’t agree that people are only unfaithful if there’s problems in a relationship; “you can have a great relationship and still be unfaithful.” Victor says that humans are the only animals that stick to one partner. Housemates talk about monogamous animals. “It’s a lot to ask to be tied to each other for the rest of your life,” Victor adds.
Ulrika, Vanessa, Nikki and Brian are in the living room . . .Nikki sleeps on Vanessa’s shoulder.
Brain asks Vanessa if she would ever go under the knife for cosmetic surgery, Vanessa says that she has had a gastric band fitted but that “I don’t want more ops I could do without.” Brain says that he would love a face peel. Vanessa says “I’m full of botox, I have it twice a year. I find it the most magnificent treatment….I still maintain that when my husband left me I woke up with these deep wrinkles in my face that weren’t there before.”
Ulrika and Vanessa talk about having fillers. Vanessa says that she is scared of them. Ulrika says that she had them once almost 5 years ago but that she doesn’t need them now.
Housemates are preparing for today’s task, the ‘Feltz show’. Michelle is the runner, Victor is the executive producer and Brain is the floor manager. Vanessa is making a list of demands. She says that she needs lily of the valley scented candles otherwise she just can’t carry on. Brain tries to get her into the bedroom and says “I was starting to panic for a second”. Ulrika pretends to be a fan of Vanessa’s hunting for autographs “honestly these fans drive me crazy” says Vanessa as she plays along.
All the housemates are in the Feltz studio.
Brain welcomes the audience and asks them to all switch their phones off and keep their emotions calm and not to look directly at the camera. He gets them to chant ‘Vanessa’. The title sequence is cued and the audience chant ‘Go Vanessa’. Vanessa welcomes everyone to the show.
She introduces her first guest, Nikki to the show. The segment is called “I’m a grown woman why can’t I stop throwing tantrums?”. Vanessa interviews her about being particular about where she sleeps. Nikki says that there is a bad aura in some areas of the room. Vanessa then asks Nikki if she thinks tantrums are only thrown by 2 years olds. Nikki says “absolutely but everyone gets built up anger and needs to release it somehow and then you feel better”. Ulrika from the audience asks her to show her angry faces. Nikki does an impression of herself saying “who is she? who is she?”
Vanessa’s second interview is with Nick. Vanessa asks him if he is an “evil repugnant character” or if he’s really nice. Nick responds that he prefers bad guy, but he is a nice guy. Nick does an artificial lie detector test and Vanessa puts some statements to him to see if he is telling the truth or lying. At the end, Vanessa says that the test has proven that Nick does not have a decent bone in his body.
The third segment is titled “We found love on a reality TV show” Vanessa interviews Chantelle and Preston. They say that their feelings for each other didn’t hit them until they had left the house. Vanessa asks them about the divorce and Chantelle starts to cry. Vanessa cuts to an ad break and builds this into the show.
Vanessa’s final guest is Ulrika, who she interviews about the ‘price of fame’. Ulrika says you have to be prepared to walk up the high street and have everyone know about your private life. Vanessa jokes that she is being nice because “I don’t want you to start crying like the last F****** guest”. Vanessa asks Ulrika about releasing her next book and what type of novelist she is. Ulrika replies “I am more the Joanna trollop novelist”.
The show ends and the end credits roll.
Ulrika tells the other housemates that she wants to go into the bedroom but she won’t because of Chantelle and Preston talking after Chantelle got upset.
In the bedroom, Preston asks Chantelle if she is alright and says “I thought that we had made lots of headway”.
Back in the kitchen. Vanessa apologises to Chantelle if she made her cry. Chantelle says that she didn’t make her cry and she doesn’t want her to feel bad, it’s just that she feels emotional.
In the bedroom, Ulrika tells the other housemates that Preston and Chantelle took a big gamble coming into the house.
Back in the kitchen, Nikki asks Chantelle and Preston if they are both upset. Preston says that “it’s stressful because the marriage was so public therefore the divorce is bound to be public too”. Nikki says that she couldn’t have come in here with Pete.
In the bedroom, housemates are still talking about Chantelle and Preston. Ulrika says that he is upset because she is upset. Brain tells Vanessa that she did nothing “I feel like we’re having an actual post-show meeting.”
Brian and Chantelle are in the bathroom.
Chantelle says “I am still upset about it….I was trying not to cry you know when you bite your lip? It’s still so raw I didn’t realise how much he (Preston) was still affected by it too.”
Chantelle and Preston are in the bedroom. Preston asks her how she is feeling. Chantelle says that she knew she was going to cry and Preston says “I know you well enough to know what was going to happen.” They discuss the questions Vanessa asked them. Chantelle says “I know it was a pretend interview but it’s still our life. I’m not ready to start making jokes about it.”
To celebrate the success of the Feltz Show, housemates have been provided with cocktails, canapés and music.
Big Brother tells housemates to gather at the sofa and asks one housemate to collect cocktails from the store room. Housemates have to eat the olive from their martini cocktails to reveal whether they are up for nomination or not.
Vanessa, Nick and Michelle face the public vote.
Preston and Michelle are by the Carousel. Preston tells her he has only got 1 cigarette left for the whole week. Michelle asks him what he is going to do, and he replies that the whole week might only be 2 days.
Vanessa and Victor are in the living room discussing being up fro eviction. Vanessa says that it has been good to come back into the BB house and have another go and not struggle like she did before. She tells him that she has watched it every year and is a huge fan of the show. Victor tells her that she has been nominated because she came in on Friday.
Michelle, Nick and Victor are in the garden. Michelle asks them if they are shocked that she is up for eviction. They both say that they are shocked and that they both thought that each of them would be nominated. “It makes me feel unliked being up,” says Michelle.
Michelle speculates that Chantelle and Vanessa nominated her. Victor says that he think Vanessa nominated her. Victor advises her not to get into any arguments over the next few days “no bitching session.”