As we reported earlier, during tonight’s launch of Celebrity Big Brother 2013, six of the new housemates are in for a very big shock when they learn that they’ll be spending a few days living “in squalor” in a purpose built Basement…
And we have all the pictures of the house – including the icy new Diary Room chair – for you after the jump.
But first, of the twist which will see the housemates divided, a Channel 5 insider said, “It’s not going to be all champagne and air kisses as celebrity big brother kicks of this year.
“Some of the house mates will have to face a very different kind of house – the basement…
“It will divide them and test them like never before.”
Here are those pics, followed by Big Brother’s big resolutions for 2013, as featured on the show’s official website…
Big Brother’s big resolutions for 2013
New Year is coming, new Celebrity Big Brother is coming. To raise this ‘new’ theme to a magical three, here are our New Year’s resolutions – inspired by Big Brother’s summer series. Keen minds may note a vague structural similarity to The Ten Commandments. We believe it’s what Christ would want at this biblical time of year…
Thou shalt not delude thyself
Reality can be a bitter pill so some console themselves with the sweetener of delusion. But delusion is the emperor’s new clothes of the mental tactics world. Reality always wins. Especially on a reality tv show. Take The Situation and Ashleys’ attempts to convince themselves there was something to play for with Danica and Rhian despite the fact that neither lady was single. Both got all frustrated and sad when the penny dropped. Now look at the Prince Lorenzo and Danicas’ flirty and complex friendship. Yeah, it wasn’t conventional or wholesome but it lasted and landed them both a wedding-themed shoot with OK.
Thou shalt drop (slightly) witty innuendos
Do it with us – no not that, you filthy creature! (See how fun it is to be smutty!) Julian turned his hand and lips to… the occasional lewd remark and it got him all the way to gold. Start 2013 with a raised eyebrow and a quick wit and everyone’ll thank you. Even people who find it tasteless will enjoy tutting.
Thou shalt not be a total drama queen
Dramatics can be amusing but rapidly become tedious and draining. Jasmine’s nightly fireworks meant she was first to leave the Celebrity Big Brother House. People just don’t have the energy to handle a constant stream of difficulty. If everyone just accepted that they weren’t the centre of the universe and spent more time listening to others then we’d have world peace. (Disclaimer: the knotty business of securing world peace may have a few other steps…)
Thou shalt always believe in your soul
You’ve got the power to KNOW you’re indestructible. Always beli-ie-ie-ieve.
Thou shalt know when to get serious
Jokesters are close relatives of drama queens. The low-key tempo of real life is insufficiently exciting. Hence: JOKES! JAPES! PRANKS! A well-timed humorous rebellion is fun for all but if you’re pranking relentlessly without paying attention to how people around you are feeling then sort it right out. When Arron jumped in the pool during turf wars, his relief came at the expense of his green team-mates and he ended up with anchovies in his hair… This is not a metaphor.
Thou shalt not bang on about your partner – even if he is Andy Scott Lee
Boyfriend this. Fiancé that. Trophy hottie blah. The core principle is it’s not cool to show off about yourself and that’s not any different when you’re laundering congratulations through someone else. We see what’s afoot. When someone bores on about their fiancé – who may or may not be Andy Scott Lee – what they’re secretly saying is “HA HA HA, IN YOUR FACE, PLEB. HA HA HA”.
Thou shalt be cool
You know who’d never waffle on about a significant other? Adam Kelly. You know why? Because he’s cool. Cool means a lot of things to a lot of people. We reckon it’s not getting swept up in petty squabbles and pissing contests. If you have a deep LA accent too that’s not gonna hurt.
Thou shalt be more than a pretty face
Some of you may be blessed in physical regions but like our beauty queens Miss Edinburgh, Sara, and Miss India UK, Deana, it’s a good idea to spread the investments. Both those ladies ended up in the final and although they preened sometimes, at other times they were, like, well deep.
Thou shalt be determined
Poor Deana Uppal. Thrust into an awkward position when she had to nominate three housemates to their face on the first blinking day, she struggled socially throughout the 70 days, often spending time by herself in morose contemplation. But she didn’t give up and finished third, the highest of all the female housemates.
Thou shalt be more political
Benedict may have divided opinion with the bathroom-specific nature of his political campaigning but the teacher-turned-porn-star’s heart was in the right place. Engaging with issues bigger than ourselves is totally Adam Kelly (Slang for cool… keep up). Make 2013 the year you vanquish loneliness by connecting with the stuff you care about…
Thou shalt also be on telly
Okay, so this isn’t inspired by any of the former housemates directly, but if one of your wishes for 2013 is to get a bit of self-exposure, you’re in the right place. You can either visitwww.bigbrotherauditions.com to apply to be IN THE FREAKIN’ HOUSE! Or email firstname.lastname@example.org for your chance to be in the Bit on the Side audience.
So, that’s a wrap on our ten resolutions. It’s almost as if God has returned and funneled his updated wishes for mankind through the Big Brother website…
And finally, here’s a look at the all new house…