I’m A Celebrity: Katie Price does fifth bushtucker trial ‘Vile Vending’

by Lisa McGarry


The public once again voted for Katie Price to do the I’m A Celebrity Bushtucker Trial called Vile Vending but today she was joined by Exile camp mate Kim Woodburn. Between them they had to eat kangaroo anus and testicles, witchety grubs, cockroaches, crickets and fish eyes. Each of the first four rounds were worth one star each but the final round would be worth three stars for Katie as she had more mouths to feed. Kim won 5 stars for Exile Camp but Katie only managed 3 for Base Camp.

As the two joined Ant and Dec beside a dilapidated vending machine in a jungle clearing, Kim said: “I’m appalled of East Sussex. A woman of my position doing these things. [I’m] not hungry enough to eat this lot, love, I’m sorry. I’d rather die. You’re rat bags, I’ll never watch another show of yours. If you were gentlemen you’d go in there and eat it yourself. I’m old enough to be your mother you know. Where’s the respect?”

Referring to her trial with Kerry Katona in 2004, Katie said: “This one I’ve done before. I know what its like. The difference with this one is you have to chew it, taste it, swallow it and think about it going down so its slightly different because its there. What I’m going to try and think is its all edible. So I’m going to try and eat as much as I think I can eat.”

Kim added: “It’s not going to harm us. It’s the revulsion you have to get over. I’m going to have a go dear. I will try my very hardest. We’ll do the best we can.””

Both Katie and Kim were playing for their own camps – Katie for base camp and Kim for Exile. Each jungle delicacy was worth one star – the final one was worth two to Kim and three to Katie as she was playing for more people. Katie, as Base Camp representative could go first.

She pressed the first button and a package dropped out labelled ‘Saltesers’. Katie said that she thought they were testicles but in fact she emptied it out and out dropped four fish eyes.

Katie put hers in her mouth and retched badly, saying: “It tastes like blood and fish.” She chewed and chewed it, as liquid spewed over her face. “I can’t chew it,” she screamed and spat it out.

She told Kim: “When you’re chewing its like calamari with a raw egg popping in your mouth. It tastes like blood and the smell of a fishery.” Kim popped an eye in her mouth and made the most terrible retching noises, prompting giggles from Ant and Dec. She chewed for several minutes and even got it stuck in her teeth. “You’re an evil little man,” she told Ant. “The pop and the seepage are the worst,” said Katie as Kim finally swallowed the eye. “Look dear, I’ve chewed some things in my life and enjoyed them but that was disgusting,” said Kim.

Next was Kim’s turn to press the vending machine button and a bag of ‘Critterish Allsorts’ came out containing crickets and cockroaches. Again Katie went first and said, “I just can’t focus to do it this time.” Ant encouraged her. “Come on you popped one in your mouth the other day,” he said. Katie put a cricket in her mouth and chewed it and then tried to eat a cockroach. She dropped it, then had a second go and it crawled away, but on the third attempt she put it in her mouth, chewed, swallowed and won her first star for her camp.

Kim polished both of hers off quickly and won another star for the Exile camp.

Katie was next up at the machine and retrieved a pack of ‘Chewing Bum’. She emptied it to reveal four kangaroo anuses. She put one in her mouth and retched but encouraged by Kim she swallowed winning her second star for Base Camp.

Kim popped hers in her mouth and said: “I can’t do it if I can’t go quick. It’s like partially cooked mince.” And again she swallowed and won her star.

Kim went to the vending machine and got a pack labelled ‘Twitchety Grubs’. “This is the one I hate looking at on telly,” said Kim. Katie said “I’m not as strong as I was last time. I can’t do it.” But she did and won another star.

Kim once again chomped through hers winning another star. “It’s full of fluid and it pours out. It’s like a bitter cream. Cream that has gone off with a little bit of cheese. Mushroomy, exactly that,” she described.

Katie was next at the machine and got a bag labeled Mixed Nuts. This last challenge would be worth one star to Kim but three to Katie because she had more mouths to fee. Again she opened the pack and out popped two pairs of kangaroo testicles. “I’ve been known for eating stuff but I’m not going to be known for eating a testicle,” said Katie in horror. She asked for a knife and fork and tried to cut up the testicle but said: “I cant even go there. I’m passing on them.”

Kim cut hers up and put it in her mouth. “This is ghastly,” she said between retches. “Does it taste salty?” asked Katie as Kim retched again. “This is so horrible,” said Kim, but she swallowed the testicle.

Katie blamed the veneers on her teeth for her poor performance. She said afterwards: “I couldn’t put it in my mouth because I couldn’t eat it with my teeth. I can’t eat that.”

Kim ended the trial with five stars out of a possible five. Katie got three out of a possible seven.

Afterwards Kim said: “The camp are going to be happy. I didn’t think I would ever do that.” And to camp she said: “It was f******g horrific. I’m very proud of myself.” And Katie said: “The camp won’t be disappointed. They’ll know I tried.”

But on her return all her camp mates were asleep in the sun. Stuart woke and welcomed her back and she said: “Thank God for botox because my face was all screwed up.”

Lisa McGarry

Lisa has been watching reality TV for too long now. She won't do any housework unless 'Big Brother' announces it over the tannoy and everything she does has to be put to a public vote!