Over The Rainbow – Blogging madness, 10 April 2010

by Gerard McGarry

Call me a perv. Or just a red-blooded dude. During tonight’s Over The Rainbow intro song, I found myself idly wondering who was the hottest potential Dorothy was. Those costumes are boobtastic, aren’t they? Answers in the comments please – who’s the hottest contestant on Over The Rainbow? Oh hell, stuff the judges’ comments tonight – I’ll give them a hotness rating after each performance!

Now, the next idle thought – are songs from Wicked banned because this is a production of The Wizard Of Oz? Will there be deadly competition between both versions of Oz? Your thoughts…

Sophie and Jessica

Sophie: Sophie gives us a sass-less version of Shania Twain’s That Don’t Impress Me Much. Her voice isn’t well suited to this song at all, and the ‘acting’ is a touch wooden. Hotness: 7 for being a hot redhead, but marking down for weak performance.

Jessica: Much better singing from Jessica, a suitably big ballad. Yes, I’m feeling this. Good rendition. Hotness: 7 again. Looks gorgeous tonight.

Hancock said she was disappointed in both of them. Barrowman-lite admitted he spent more time looking at the backing dancers. I love it – back to his Syed-bothering ways! Lloyd Webber agrees with me that the songs didn’t suit them.

Bronte and Dani

Bronte: Giving us a musical theatre version of KT Tunstall’s Suddenly I See. It’s always borderline manic with Bronte, but she’s as cute as a button. I don’t think her performances have much weight beyond her being naturally bubbly though. Hotness: 8 – a beautiful girl

Dani: Surely singing Buble’s Home is the kiss of death on a singing competition? Does it indicate a subliminal desire to be eliminated? I find it very hard to warm to Dani as a Dorothy. She’s a little awkward and her voice was slightly wobbly (with nerves?) at the beginning of this. Hotness: 5 – not my type.

Again, fairly mediocre comments from the judges tonight. Dani gets slightly better feedback from Partridge and Church. Lloyd Webber gaffes by calling Bronte “Barbie”. Fantastic!

Steph and Jenny

Steph: Singing Bjork’s It’s Oh So Quiet, Steph looks hot in a metallic gold dress. She’s channeling 1930’s New York floozie in vocal terms, but compared with what we’ve seen so far tonight, it’s an electrifying, confident performance. Hotness: 9 – scalding.

Jenny: Singing Songbird (by Eva Cassidy), Jenny’s performance is done mostly from the bottom of the stage stairs. She looks pretty in a classy purple dress, but don’t forget, we’ve seen her without her make-up! Great vocal. These two are the best so far tonight. Hotness: 8 – loved her look tonight.

Good comments from Charlotte Church, who is wearing some garish glittery turquoise eye make-up. And really positive comments from Partridge and Hancock. The Lord, as Graham Norton so blasphemously calls him, is positively ecstatic about both performances. He spits out musical theatre trivia like he swallowed Judy Garland’s Wikipedia page.

Danielle and Lauren

Danielle: Don’t recognize the song, but what a feisty rendtion from Danielle. A few jarring tuning issues, but not enough to ruin the performance. Hotness: 8 – like the funky chick look.

Lauren: Singing Dionne Warrick’s I’ll Never Fall In Love Again, super-competitive Lauren is fun to watch as she runs through her repertoire of tragi-comedic faces. Good vocal, entertaining performance. Hotness: 7.5 – very demure look tonight.

Hancock gives glowing praise to both girls, predicting big things for Danielle regardless if she wins or loses this show. Partridge throws out positive feedback like he was moonlighting as a positive feedback machine. At the end of the commenting, Church has warned Lauren that she’s coming across as over-confident (I agree) and Lloyd Webber had to stop himself from giving the Dorothy gig to Danielle right now.

Emilie and Stephanie

Emilie: Giving the Aleesha Dixon song The Boy Does Nothing a dusting off, Emilie’s voice doesn’t suit this. Dixon can do fiesty, but Emilie is struggling with it. Looks hot in a too-short sparkling green dress. But very annoying. Hotness: 8 – boosted by the amount of hot thigh action.

Stephanie: Singing the shitty, played to death version of Smile (i.e. not the Lily Allen one), Stephanie makes a good effort of it. But unfortunately, this song makes me want to fall into a long, blissful coma. Hotness: 7 – pretty dress, and she wore it well.

Partridge’s comments are slightly more in favour of Emilie than Stephanie. Church suggests Emilie tries a ballad next week, but calls Stephanie’s Smile the performance of the night. Hancock thinks both could have tried harder with their interpretation.

Hot Dorothy of the evening…

Having seen the final group performance from Hairspray, I have to admit to being partial to Sophie (secret redhead fetish) – and she was much more comfortable in the group setting than during her solo performance at the start of the night. Steph and Bronte are gorgeous in different ways, and Danielle was notable for a confident performance and a funky look.

But – and I won’t waste time with any lengthy anecdotes about Charlie Chaplin playing piano one-fingered – despite what my scoring says, I think Sophie works best for me.

Over to you – who was your favourite tonight, and do you think the hotness-based posting format works?

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Gerard McGarry is a jet-setting, world-renowned Reality TV critic. In real life, Gerard works with web and social media strategy. His personal blog is at GerardMcGarry.com or follow him on Twitter @gerrybot